I don’t even know what to say. Please forgive me in advance if this is rambly and makes no sense. I am not doing good right now. Haven’t been for over a week. There are things going on right now, things in my face that I am trying to deal with that I just can’t discuss right now. It’s taking every thing in me to just survive.
I know I don’t have to blog. This is not a job, it’s a hobby. I don’t get paid to write; I have no contractual obligation. However, you are my friends and I do feel like I owe you something. Some truth, some knowledge about what I’m going through, so you at least know why I’m not around much.
I love this space, I love writing. I don’t have words right now.
I am struggling to get out of bed each day. To take care of my kids. To manage the seemingly HUGE task in front of me. To heal.
I am not sleeping. I am barely eating. There is a very angry T-Rex sitting on my chest, making it hard for me to breath. My kids, my husband and my best friend/life line are keeping me going right now. It’s a struggle. It’s hard right now.
Before it’s asked, yes I am in therapy, yes I am taking my now upped meds. I am okay. Truly. Don’t worry, I’m not going off the deep end. I’m just dealing with some heavy shit. Some old shit that needs to be dealt with.
I don’t have words. I’ll be around, as always. I’ve commented on some blogs and then others I just can’t. I spend a little time on Twitter and then I just can’t. I’m doing the best I can right now. I hope you’ll understand and give me some time.
36 Responses to Struggling
Grab My Button!
I’m a joiner
Of course we understand and we will be here with open arms whenever you need us. Take care of you. xoxo
.-= Lu ~ @masmom´s last blog ..Sometimes =-.
hugs and thinking of you…
Yes, me too- except I can’t get myself together to blog atm. I know how you feel, ok? If you need to talk… sending you love and hugs x
.-= Sandy´s last blog ..12 Days =-.
Of course we understand and we are here to support you no matter what. I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time, HUGS!!
you know i’ve been worrying about you. do you still have my phone number? i know you have my email. use them. seriously. xoxo
.-= becky´s last blog ..I think I’m crazy =-.
I get it more than you know. Or actually, you probably do know.
You do what you need to do to take care of you. That’s what’s important right now, not us, or the blog.
Here if you need me.
Love you. xoxo
.-= avasmommy´s last blog ..Friendship and the internet, what it all really means….yeah, here I go again. =-.
Feel better, sweetie. We’ll be here whenever you’re ready. *hugs*
.-= Jaden´s last blog ..What She Says… About TV & More =-.
I’m sorry you’re struggling, love. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. That being said, if there is *anything* I can do, just say the word. You’re in my thoughts. <3
.-= Chibi Jeebs´s last blog ..When the Pills Are Not Enough: Session II =-.
I’m sorry things are rough right now. Sending you lots of squishy Internet hugs.
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: new front yard edition =-.
i’m here.
Hugs to you woman. I’m sorry life is so dark right now. I hope things get better for you soon.
.-= Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog ..Twitter has got my back =-.
Love and hugs my dear. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are strong and amazing and you CAN do it. *TUG* Here for you.
Thinking about you…
.-= Kari´s last blog ..To a special 40 year old =-.
Sending hugs and love. Do what you need to, to take care of you, everyone is here to listen.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Breastfeeding Challenges: The Lazy Nurser =-.
I’m so sorry you are struggling. As the others said, we all understand and in no way should you feel obligated to blog. We will be here when you get back.
Something I was thinking of the other day that really helped me at a dark time in my life was the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” It just put things in a new light and helped me heal a bit. I know you probably don’t even feel like reading right now, but when you do maybe it can help a little.
.-= Two Toddlers and Me´s last blog ..How to Keep Two Toddlers Busy – September 30, 2009 =-.
Been there, sweetie.
If you need or want someone to post for you, I will.
PS — take care of you. you don’t owe us anything. Be as well as you can be.
.-= mrs. chicken´s last blog ..Career Killer? =-.
Hugs to you. I wish I could take you out to dinner. Do what you need to do to make it through the day. The whole internet will welcome you with open arms when you’re feeling better.
.-= Kirsten´s last blog ..Who’s Older? =-.
Oh my friend I wish I could give you a hug. Just know that I am there any time you need me. I love you.
.-= But Why Mommy´s last blog ..A Love Letter =-.
Oh Sweetie! So sorry you’re struggling. Write when it helps & don’t feel obligated. We’ll all be here whenever you write. Sending you much love, many hugs, and huge wishes for peace. I’m only an email away. Need to IM? Just say the word. Wish I was closer and could help more.
xoxoxox
.-= PsychMamma´s last blog ..Embracing Holland =-.
I wish I could say or do something to get you through this, but I’m thinking of you.
One of the great things about blogging is that you have a built-in support system when you need it. We’ll all be here…
.-= Mo´s last blog ..A Day at the Fair =-.
I will pray for you, your strength, your heart, your emotions, your comfort, your understanding and your mind. If I can help in any way please let me know. ((HUGS))
.-= Debby Pucci´s last blog .. =-.
I just licked the side of your face. Totally inappropriate, I know, but you have such fabulous, supportive friends, I thought maybe a giggle? I’m here too. I won’t try to lick you. Much.
.-= anymommy´s last blog ..Tread Kindly =-.
Wishing you all the best!
Oh love, I am in the same (a similar) place right now. I don’t know what it is that you are dealing with, but sometimes life just sucks major ass and you have to deal with it. I hate dealing with it sometimes.
I am glad you are in therapy. So am I. I am glad you upped your meds. So did I. It is important that we take care of our bodies, but even more important that we take care of our minds.
Please take care of yourself first and foremost.
I’m here if you need me.
.-= Sara @heartmychloe´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – animal style =-.
Sweetie, I understand all too well right now. There are so many things I wish I could write about as I think it might help me. But the nature of the problems is the problem itself and I just… can’t write it on the internet. Too complicated and hurtful and I’m crying as I write even this.
Sucks.
I’m sending you my love. I’m sending you the hope that this will pass quickly…
.-= tracey´s last blog ..The things I do =-.
Just putting my comment up, not because I have anything insightful or helpful to add, but because I want you to know I’m here. I may not be around much lately, but you know I’m always here.
Hugs, friend.
sending my thoughts
.-= Emily´s last blog ..Whadduya know =-.
sending some sunshine.
.-= denise´s last blog ..Tomorrow is Another Day, No Tomorrow is THE Day… =-.
oh sweetness,I understand all too well what is going on right now and I am so sorry. Much love to you-if you need me-I am here.
xoxo
.-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Renee =-.
here’s a big fucking hug from me to you.
.-= mommymae´s last blog ..in review =-.
what they said…
xoxo
.-= Bridget´s last blog ..Unsolicited Advice =-.
Aw hon, take your time and feel better soon. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you.
Sorry you’re going through this.
xoxo
I am so sorry. I hope things turn around soon for you.
.-= Midwest Mommy´s last blog ..Huh? =-.
I’m a little late to comment on this, because, you know, I was on a boat. Just know that you are loved and I’m here if you need anything!!!!
You can call or e-mail anytime!!!
XOXO
.-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Vacation edition… =-.
I am only just now beginning to see the light after nearly two years of living in what I have thought, at times, was an unfathomable darkness – one in which I didn’t know if I would ever, let alone WANT to ever, get out of.
It’s hard. I won’t lie. It’s hard to keep forcing yourself out of bed when you don’t want to. But you do. And know that there are women like me, reaching out to you and encouraging you to grasp onto my hand and not let go. We’ll pull each other up and out.
Hang in there sweetie.