A troll told me that yesterday. Along with the random troll comments: blah, blah and blah. I deleted it immediately, but I found that first line to be kind of funny. I over use the words I love you.
Maybe I do. Maybe to an outside person, that could be seen as true. I’ll tell you something though, I never say it if I don’t mean it. They are not just random words to me. I may say them all the time to people, but only people who I love. I promise, you will never see me telling a bank teller that I love them.
I was a few months shy of nineteen when my friend Andrew took his own life. One thing, one small thing that comforted me, was that the night before, I’d spoken with him on the phone and I’d said, I love you, before I hung up. He’d said it back. Every time I got angry at the world or him for what he’d done, I remembered that. Small yes, but it helped me to heal. He knew I loved him and that in the end, is what matters.
When I was twenty-one, I was in a bad car accident. I called Logan, but he didn’t pick up the phone. I tried to call my mom, before I remembered that she was out of the country. Then I called my dad. I cried and cried. I was in pain. I was scared. I knew the car was totaled. He told me it would be okay. That Morgan wasn’t in the car. That I was okay. A ruined car didn’t matter, as long as I was okay. As he hung up, he told me he loved me. Twenty-one years old and that was the first time he said it to me first. He’d say, he loved me too, if I said it first. But he never just said it. My own dad never just told me he loved me. I have always known he loves me. I think. Mostly?
I was lucky though. I have an amazing mother. A mother who always told us she loved us. All dam day. Maybe she didn’t hear it enough as a child. I don’t know. As a teenager, if we’d fight before she’d drop me off at school, she’d scream it out the window. It was soooo embarrassing. I always knew though. I never questioned her love for me and my brothers.
I am like my mom. I tell my kids and my husband that I love them all the time. I end emails with it. I text it to my friends. I say it in comments and on Twitter. Sometimes multiple times a day. I never want there to be a question. I always want people to know that I love them.
There are no guarantees in life. We are not promised tomorrow, just today. On this holiday week, I plan on over using the words, I love you. They never get old. I never tire of saying it, nor hearing it.
My most overused words…well that’s okay with me.
I hope you all have a wonderful and safe holiday. Enjoy your family. Make sure they know you love them. Sometimes even if you think they know, it’s still nice to hear it. Trust me on this one. We’re leaving bright and early tomorrow morning. Driving 12 hours in a car. With three children. For 12 hours. Hold me.
If that’s the worst thing someone can come up with to say, well, I think you’re doing pretty damn well. Who doesn’t like hearing that they are loved? Other than teenage you, as your mom screamed it out the window : ).
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:09 am
@Andrea’s Sweet Life, Even then, I secretly liked it.
The night my father had his massive heart attack and went into a coma, the night before he died, I turned to him as I was leaving the hospital and I said to him, “I love you, Daddy.” Being a teenager, I didn’t say it that often anymore. Maybe somehow, someway, I just knew. But for 20 years I have been so glad that the last words he heard me say were “I love you”.
The trolls can suck it.
Love you.
avasmommy´s last blog ..Mom
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:10 am
@avasmommy, It’s a small thing, but somehow it can be comforting in a way.
omg we can tweet/text/bbm eachother during our crazy travel days tomorrow. and fyi, i DO love you and i too don’t say that lightly. smooches.
becky´s last blog ..One more post…photos from my shoot!
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:10 am
@becky, We so didn’t. Ha. I hope you had a great trip though.
Stupid trolls. If there’s a phrase to overuse, I Love You is the best one.
C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..The Greatest Story Never Told
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:11 am
@C @ Kid Things, Trolls are so funny. I love that comment. Hey if a troll comment can give me a post idea, more power to them.
The complaint, “you say I love you too much”? Hilarious!
Dear Troll: your head is up your a&& too much!
When I refused to go sailing as a first date with some guy that I met randomly, after turning him down 12 times or so he got frustrated and told me “well, your eyelashes are too long!”. He meant it, he was M-A-D!
I was laughing so hard I could barely catch my breath (of course thinking to myself, so my fat a&& isn’t bothering you, but my eyelashes just can’t be tolerated?!)!
GreenInOC´s last blog ..My Dad Lied About Rhubarb Pie
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:11 am
@GreenInOC, People are insane. This, I am sure of. Dude, long eyelashes are awesome.
If the one complaint people had about me is that I say I love you too much, or I love too many people…that’s alright with me.
I’ve lost friends, at a freaking young age, that I’ll never get to say it to again. I’m damn glad I said it when they were here. When I’m going to bed, I say good night and I love you to friends.
Maybe its cheesy but what the world needs is a few more people who aren’t afraid to love. And I mean real, would do anything for you, love with all your heart love. I’ve got friends like that and my life is so much richer because of it.
So I say I love you. And people with a problem with that can SUCK IT.
The Grown Up Teenager´s last blog ..Remember
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:12 am
@The Grown Up Teenager, It makes a difference. I am convinced of it. Small thing maybe, to make sure the people you love know it, but worth the time and energy.
I grew up not hearing those words very much, and now I make sure that every day I tell both my kids and my husband how much I love them. I have lost my mother at an early age, I’ve lost my grandmother and mother in law, and both of them knew we loved them. I don’t want my kids to every forget. I don’t understand why people say you can say I love you too much. If you mean it, why not say it and show it. Great post!!! Hugs to you, have a great vacation, and be safe!
Laura´s last blog ..The baby list
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:13 am
@Laura, Thanks Laura. I hope you had a great holiday.
I am with you, I never want my kids to forget, or to question my love for them.
I’m another one who didn’t hear the words “I love you” very much growing up. My dad checked out of the family early and my mom was too overwhelmed with the work of raising three girls by herself to think about telling us what her exhaustion should’ve shown us. She loved us fiercely, but we didn’t hear it. So I make sure to tell my children everyday all day what amazing and lovable people they are. I’m not so affection with my friends, but I wish I could be. Showing up in friendships with an open heart is a brave way to live. I commend you for it.
Kelly´s last blog ..GTT: Not-so-hot hotties
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:14 am
@Kelly, Thank you Kelly. Sometimes it comes back to bite me in the ass, this being open. It means I get my heart broken by people sometimes. But it’s worth it, no matter what.
If I got this “insult” I’d be delighted! You’re totally on the right track here. The people in my life that I love, well they know it because I am constantly telling them too. We’ve seen people get taken from this life far to often to NOT say it every day.
Miss´s last blog ..We’re back, and you tell me I am home
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:15 am
@Miss, I was.
It sort of made my day in fact. And it gave me an idea for a post. I should thank the troll. Ha.
And that, in a nutshell, is why I love you. Have a wonderful holiday, make sure you tell them how much you love them after you scream at them to be quiet in the car.
anymommy´s last blog ..Story Time
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:15 am
@anymommy, I hope you had a great holiday my friend. I love you too.
I love you. That is all. Oh, and you’re amazing. OK, now that’s really all.
PrincessJenn´s last blog ..Zombie Apocalypse
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:16 am
@PrincessJenn, I love you too. And you are amazing. Question for you…very random…do you have Black Friday like we do? Is it in October? Have always wondered that and wasn’t around to ask last week.
PrincessJenn Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@Issa,
We don’t. But a lot of people go down to the US for it. Or shop online. And a few stores up here are starting to catch onto it.
PrincessJenn´s last blog ..Zombie Apocalypse
Issa Reply:
December 1st, 2009 at 8:48 am
@PrincessJenn, Oh thank you. I always wondered.
Issa´s last blog ..I went to Texas and all I brought you was some random stories
You can never use those words too many times. Never.
I am (virtually) holding you whilst you travel, I hope it helps! Have a wonderful holiday!
I love you.
Vixen´s last blog ..#Tweetsgiving Day One
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:17 am
@Vixen, Thank you.
I hope you had a great holiday.
I have an uncontrollable urge just to post “I love you” over and over and over. But I will refrain because I am like you, I only say it when I will mean it… but the urge is still there!!
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:17 am
@Amber, I had the urge to write it like a hundred times and call it a post. Ha.
If thats their idea of an insult – then they suck at comebacks.
I was lucky enough to hear that often, and I say it often to my family and friends. The story about your friend, Andrew, was very touching. My best friend and first boyfriend died at 25 of undiagnosed diabetes very suddenly. We had grown apart, living on other sides of the country, but I like to think and hope that he knew how much I loved and cared for him.
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:18 am
@Vinomom, Trolls are not always this funny, but this one gave me a great compliment.
I have this theory, that as long as you told someone you loved them, they do know.
My family is pretty liberal with the I love yous. And I’m grateful. Because those are some of the last words my dad ever heard either of us say. And he knew we meant it to our very core.
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:19 am
@Allyson, It’s important. I’m so glad for you that he said it often.
Hey Al? I love you. Truly. Bunches.
I love you.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Kirsten´s last blog ..Even More High Crimes
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:20 am
@Kirsten, I love you too. I hope you guys had a great holiday.
That’s not an insult. That’s something you want carved on your tombstone.
Here Lies Issa
She said “I Love You” a lot
19XX – 20XX
Hey Issa? I love you!
Suebob´s last blog ..Big tough cops in pink shirts
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:21 am
@Suebob, I am so adding that too my will.
If that’s the worst thing someone can find to say about you, I’d say you’re doing well.
Seriously, those 3 words can never be over used, as long as they’re said with meaning.
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:21 am
@dysfunctional mom, Yes. It’s the meaning behind them that matters.
Don’t listen to them, you can never say I love you too much. I think it is so important to tell all the people in your life that you love that you love them, people love to hear it and it feels great to say it. No such thing as overusing those words.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving.
Lisa´s last blog ..Teaching Through Play
I. Love. You.
And I know you mean it. I mean it too. And you’re right. We should say it when we mean it, as often as we can. This last year has taught me that anything can happen in the blink of an eye.
MommyGeekology´s last blog ..A List of Sorts
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:27 am
@MommyGeekology, I love you too my friend.
Say what you mean & mean what you say. If I say it, I mean it…and I know you do, too. Stupid trolls.
Bridget´s last blog ..Disney, here we come!
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:27 am
@Bridget, Dude, that troll gave me the greatest compliment. ha.
This weblog is being featured on Five Star Friday – http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/11/five-star-fridays-edition-81.html
Trolls suck-enough said.
p.s. I love you!!
Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..Even if you don’t believe you can make a difference
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:28 am
@Domestic Extraordinaire, I love you too.
my husband just had a conversation with his grandmother about this. she thought he said “i love you” too much b/c we say it all damn day to the kids, out of the blue. he explained that he never wanted them to forget it. they needed to carry it with them always. we always mean it, so why not say it? too many people don’t say it enough.
mommymae´s last blog ..i’m a chocolately yellow unicorn named guinevere. and you?
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:29 am
@mommymae, People don’t get it. If something happened tomorrow, I’d hope that I said it enough that my girls would always remember. That my son could be told, your mama adored you, every single day.
I don’t think you can ever overuse the words I love you. What is more important in this world, than sharing your love with the people in your life?
By the way girl – I LOVE YOU!!!
Hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving!
Kari´s last blog ..words to live by
Issa Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 10:31 am
@Kari, Nothing. Nothing is more important. Or at least that is my theory.
You can’t take your money with you. Unless you cure cancer or something, it doesn’t matter what you did for a job. Your shoe collection will never matter. But how much you loved and how much you were loved back? That is what matters.
Hey Kari? I love you.
You can NEVER say I Love You too much! I say it all the time to my husband, family and friends. I just want them to know how I feel all the time, just in case. It’s the last thing I say to my husband on the phone. We have never once hung up the phone without saying “I love you”! Great post
Amanda´s last blog ..I might be the only female in Florida without a deep, undying love for Tim Tebow
My now husband remarked early in our relationship that he thought my family said “I Love You” way too often. Ironically, he has come to our way of think and not even realized it. And I love him even more for it.
And I love the fact your mom used to scream it out the window. Marking that down in my when-my-kids-become-teenagers to-do list.
Not Afraid To Use It´s last blog ..Facebook Smackdown: An Open Letter To My Sister