A little bit ago, in the middle of a funny conversation on Twitter, I started a new list called WOWUBNA. It stands for, We Once Were Unpopular, But Not Anymore. I said I had a quiz for anyone who wanted on it. It was, it is, a joke. I will add my entire follower list, if everyone wants on it. It was something funny to do, on a long day. It made me think though.

I was not popular. I had friends, so I guess I wasn’t considered super unpopular. However, some of my friends were considered popular. Maybe I was, by association? Nah. I just knew them forever. I was friends with them, because I met them at four years old. I wasn’t ever talked to by the popular friends of theirs, just by them.

That doesn’t make me popular, that makes me boring. We are like siblings. I talk to them often, but see them almost never. It’s okay, because we will always be friends. But it’s been lonely for a few years since I moved here. Since the friend who moved at the same time and I have gone our separate ways. She is the chick who gets invited to play dates, out for coffee, on child free adventures with other moms. I am not.  It’s lonely, I’ve been lonely. Might be why I started blogging again.

Where does being popular matter? Does it get you into a better school? No. Will it get you a better job? No. It gets you a lot of friends, I guess. But how many of them can you really count on in a crisis?

If you are popular, you can get the world to come to your party. You had the entire school sign your yearbook. Everyone is looking you up on Facebook; hoping beyond hope that your name hasn’t changed. That maybe, just maybe you will friend them back.

How many of them know your middle name though? Or which movies make you cry, no matter how often you see it? That you know the entire dialog to Ocean’s Eleven? How many will come bail you out of jail? Stop you in the middle of a conversation to tell you that you are being stupid? Will they all keep your kids for a day when you have the flu? Will they send a CD they made or a gift card for a Starbucks to you, because you are having a shitty day? Text you: good morning, I hope you have a great day, when they first get up? Call you and leave you a worried sounding message, when you’ve ignored three of their texts in one evening?

Maybe they do. Maybe some of them would. Then again, maybe they won’t. Being popular is a tricky thing. I know this, because I was friends with a few popular girls. My brother was extremely popular. Anything he did in high school, he had an entourage. He had more people at his graduation party than Ashton Kutcher has Twitter Followers. Okay, maybe not, but it seemed that way. However, when his finance left him last year, he couldn’t get but one friend to help him move. A friend he has gotten much closer to in the past year, since realizing what a true friend is. A friend who he invited to my house for Christmas. (Along with his girlfriend and the friends brother. Another story. Sheesh.) My brother with 200 contacts in his phone, could only get one friend to help him move, even though he’s helped a ton of them move before.

Online popularity is interesting. It’s fickle, it’s a bit weird, it’s possibly not what all of us think. I always find it uncool when people hate on the “popular” people online. It’s as if this is High School. The truth is though, the big name bloggers, have no way of keeping up. They have no way of seeing everything sent their way. I have trouble keeping up and I average 12 comments a post. It’s not always personal, in fact I doubt if it ever is. It’s just what it is. There are too many bloggers and not enough time in the day.

I will tell you quite truthfully, I “knew” some of them before. I started my first blog at the same time as some of them. The big name bloggers so many are afraid of. Some who find themsleves hated, the subject of much ridicule. Mostly, they are nice freaking people. A couple even followed me back on twitter. I don’t take it personal that the others didn’t. If I like you, I read your blog. When I have time, I comment. I can go weeks without though. Like I said, it’s all about time.

Some people, after BlogHer, said oh I saw this person, but I was afraid to say hi to them. They wouldn’t give me the time of day. COME ON NOW. We are bloggers. We talk about our personal life on the computer. We tweet about what we had for lunch, or what our baby’s fever is.

There is a person, a blogger, an amazing blogger who told me she didn’t say hi to me at BlogHer. That she sat behind me in a session and couldn’t make herself say hi. I told her then that I wished she had, because she was on my list of people I wanted to meet. It’s okay. I get being afraid, or uncomfortable. But being popular in some way, doesn’t make someone scary.

Maybe their is an unpopular person in each of us? Even the ones who are considered popular now.

I am not now, nor have I ever been, popular. I never got picked for teams. I don’t get picked for anything now. (Save for the community keynote at BlogHer, which was Anymommy’s doing.) I don’t write for any site except this one. I don’t get paid to blog. I don’t have thousands of followers on Twitter. I’ll tell you honestly that I think maybe 45 people read this site. Maybe 60 on a good day. It’s okay, I am thrilled that 45-60 of you find me entertaining enough to read at all.

I went over on my text messaging for the first time ever this month. I never needed unlimited texting, until the past month. I’ll be honest with you. It’s because my best friend got a phone a month or so ago that can text. She is the reason for this. It is all her fault. HA. I love that I now have a reason to have an unlimited texting plan. I love that I met her because of Twitter. I love that for the first time in years, I have a best friend.

I love the community I’ve made. I loved the community I was a part of before, with my previous blog. Mostly though, the people I talk to now, are different people. I’m okay with that.

What makes us popular doesn’t matter. What matters is why we do what we do. It makes my heart swell when I get emails from my friends. Texts from friends. I feel like, I finally have people who would notice if I disappeared. I feel like I have finally found my tribe, so to speak. My community of friends is amazing.

I’m not popular. I’m okay with not being popular. But it’s nice to feel like I have friends again.