Great. So thrilling for you. You are the mayor of McDonalds. Wheeeee. You are now at Starbucks. YAY you. You are at Target. Why is this entertaining? I go to Starbucks every dam day. It’s not tweet worthy. Promise.
FourSquare, for those of you who don’t know, is a form of social media. You sign up for the service and it connects to your Twitter and Facebook. You set up a profile, that is public, (at least for other FourSquare users) with your information. It also keeps all of your previous locations. The more you use it, the more points you get. What they are for, I don’t know. No one seems to know. Why anyone should care? I have absolutely no idea. Doesn’t stop people from playing it.
Anyone remember Mafia Wars? It was an annoying game on twitter. It lasted about two months. This is more annoying and doesn’t seem to show any sign of stopping.
In the two minutes of searching (to give those who have no idea what I’m talking about, an idea) hundreds of tweets kept popping up. Very awesome tweets like:
I’m at Independent Fire Company No. 1 (1601 Burlington Bypass, Wedgewood Drive & Fountain Avenue, Burlington)
I just unlocked the “School Night” badge on @foursquare
I’m at taco bell.
I’m at McD’s.
I’m at Panera Bread 540 East Betteravia Road, College Drive, Santa Maria
Why doesn’t Subway give a discount to Mayors? That would benefit me.
WTF. Really??? We should care? We should need to know this? All of these, by the way, had a link to the location. Hundreds and hundreds of them popped up in seconds.
Normally I find it aggravating. It pollutes my twitter stream. I could care less were anyone is and it’s annoying to constantly see, oh I’m at Target. I find it very stupid and I’ve said it more than my share of times.
Here’s where the issue for me comes in. Someone who I was following on twitter tweeted that they were at an elementary school picking up a kid. A kid that isn’t theirs. It tweets the name and a link to the location every time you use it.
So basically one is publishing their child’s school address. On the internet. For the world to see.
It makes me angry. It makes me sick to my stomach. I am making a big ass deal of it because I think it needs to make into one. It’s not okay. Tweeting names of kids elementary schools and locations is NOT okay. It’s just not. Schools should not be listed in FourSquare. It should never, ever, ever be something that gets randomly tweeted. It’s unsafe.
Lets think about this for a second. You post or tweet your kids names, or you don’t. You post pictures, or you don’t. I don’t really care either way. I used to, I don’t now. Your choice. But you, if you have kids and a blog, probably talk about them. You tell funny stories. If you don’t post photos, as I don’t, you probably have friends you have emailed photos to over time.
Then you tweet the location of your child’s elementary school on twitter. All in the name of a social media game.
Now, instead of being worried about the known dangers, about crazy family and people who pop up on registry’s for sex offenders, you are facing the unknown. Because hey, you wanted a few points or whatever, so why not tweet the location of the school?
Know why you shouldn’t? BECAUSE IT’S A SCHOOL. Where children play. Small, innocent children. That you’ve just put at risk. Maybe I’m being paraniod. I will take that risk. Me paranoid is a fine risk to take. A child’s safety? Is not.
I don’t care who it was, I don’t care if it’s your kid or someone else’s. Either way? I find it deplorable. I have unfollowed people before because of it. Those times? It was their child. What made me livid about it this time, was someone doing it, who was picking up another persons child.
I went so far to say if that was my sitter doing that, I’d fire them. I would. In a heartbeat. Does that make me an asshole? Maybe it does. Fine, hi, I’m Issa and I’m an asshole. Unfollow/unfriend me. I don’t care.
My kids school address doesn’t belong on Twitter and Facebook. Ever. No kids school does. Personally I think FourSquare should take that off. It shouldn’t be allowed to be tweeted. Ever. The end.
I made a blanket statement on Twitter, one that I am sticking too. I am hereby unfollowing any single person who tweets the location of an elementary school.
I think it’s totally irresponsible.
Yes, a school’s information is public record. You can drive by any school and see kids. Pervs can drive around and find schools. But they generally don’t know what your child looks like already, do they? They probably don’t know that you call your son, sport or bruiser. Or that your daughter’s stuffed tiger is named Flutter. They may not have known that before, but they can now.
Do you see where I’m going with this? That kind of information is what predators use to lure your children. Think I’m paranoid. Think I’m horrible. Then go search the web for missing children. Look at the numbers. Look at what happens to children taken from schools, even if they are returned to their parents. Do you see how this could make me angry? By tweeting a childrens school location, you are inadvertently putting children at risk. Mine, yours, all of them.
You may think you are anonymous. But you really aren’t. Not if you use now or have ever used any form of social media.
Why make it easier for them? Why put your kids at risk, for a stupid silly annoying game that most of us wish would die?
84 Responses to So you like to FourSquare?
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I’m a joiner
Totally agree with you.
I always assumed that people tweeted their 4 square locations so that I’d know where to avoid them.
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..Mixed Feelings =-.
avasmommy Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 5:20 pm
@Marinka,
Comment of the day, right here, Issa.
Snort.
.-= avasmommy´s last blog ..Not Goodbye =-.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 5:54 pm
@Marinka, Snort. So the I’m outside Marinka’s house will clue you in to where I am?
i haven’t a clue about foursquare nor do i want people to know where i am at all times hence, i don’t want to have a boss anymore.
i do often wonder if i’m setting my children up for losers when posting pictures of them. it scares me really.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 5:56 pm
@gorillabuns, Personal opinion I think probably not. Girl I have read your blog for a while and I am not sure I know what state you live in. This to me is different. It scares me.
I work at various schools and pick up children at others. I have NEVER ONCE considering tweeting my location. Heck, if I don’t know you pretty well, you don’t know the town I just moved from.
I would hope that any sitter to tweet that would be fired. That’s beyond irresponsible.
.-= ~a´s last blog ..See you on the flip side =-.
I play Foursquare. I don’t attach it to twitter or facebook because I don’t assume anyone really gives a crap. If they did, they could follow me on Foursquare. I feel the same way about Blip – I don’t care what you’re listening to! I play because I get discounts and specials at businesses that participate. I mean, I go to my local grocery store EVERY DAY, and now I get a discount there EVERY TIME I shop, thanks to Foursquare. So that’s my reason for playing.
I agree with your points about kids/schools, etc. Foursquare has an option called “off the grid” where you can still check in, but keep your location private. People should take advantage of that. Or maybe think before they do anything involving kids and online dealies.
.-= heather…´s last blog ..Memorial =-.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 5:59 pm
@heather…, See that is something different. I didn’t know that, nor that you played. Which is fine with me, because I know vie never seen a tweet about it in your stream.
It’s the school info Heather. It’s the protection of kids that I care about.
heather... Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 6:05 pm
@Issa, Oh, fo’ sho’. You’ll never see a foursquare tweet from me or any other game or fad that comes around because I want to annoy my followers on my OWN terms. I only said I played so I could give an example of WHY people play. I’m sure there are other reasons why people play, like because they are perverts looking for people to check in at schools, I dunno.
You and me, we’re on the same page.
.-= heather…´s last blog ..Memorial =-.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 6:07 pm
@heather…, Snort. I love you lady and you know it.
Exactly. Lost tweets and all that.
It’s really easy to take a tiny nugget of information and end up with bucketfuls. Really easy.
If she were my sitter? I’d fire her too. If that makes me and asshole, then yay, I’m an asshole.
And before anyone goes and says “But all school locations are public information.” Yes, yes they are. But do you know exactly which school anyone’s kid is at? In large cities, there are dozens if not hundreds of schools. And you’re not always going to have a kid in the school that’s closest to you. I live blocks from 3 elementary schools. We have a choice of where to put our kid. Now why would I tell you exactly which one she’s at?
.-= avasmommy´s last blog ..Not Goodbye =-.
for me, it’s not the playing of foursquare that bothers me…it’s the damn FEED CLOGGING. I don’t need to know where my facebook friends or my twitter friends or my family members are every single second of every day. I mean, if you want to be the Mayor of Kroger…be the Mayor of Kroger…just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do what Heather does…GO OFF THE GRID.
.-= alimartell´s last blog ..It wasn’t enough time to pick up an accent and drawl, unfortunately. =-.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 6:00 pm
@alimartell, Yes. Off the grid is the way to go. Even then though? I don’t think kids school information should ever be on it.
I agree with heather. If you want to play, play. But don’t assume anyone else cares. I play a ton of annoying games on facebook…but I don’t spam the hell out of all my friends about it.
As far as the school tweet. I think that anything that connects you to a location is dangerous, especially if it remembers all of your locations. I don’t care if it is you or your child…it would not be hard for someone to find a trend in your schedule. Maybe it wouldn’t be the child in the tweet that was involved in a worst case scenerio…but it doesn’t take much to turn a predators eye to a location, for whatever reason.
.-= ally (adil320)´s last blog ..Love The Gulf =-.
Foursquare annoys the shit out of me. For pretty much all of the same reasons.
I had no clue you could go “off the grid” like Heather said. I just don’t understand why everyone wouldn’t set it up to be private.
Plus…it seems kind of like an invitation for someone to rob your house. “*insert name here* is at a location that is at least and hour away from her home…I have plenty of time to lift a few things!”
.-= Bridget´s last blog ..Searching for Simplicity =-.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 6:02 pm
@Bridget, That too. Please rob my house because hi I’m at Target. Sigh.
I don’t think the person that tweeted this meant to cause such an outrage, and I don’t think she was intentionally being irresponsible.
But, out of curiosity, I looked at the feed where that info was tweeted. In less than five minutes I found out that this person (whose photo I can see on Twitter) is picking up a girl (Ana, even if the name is disguised) at Brookview Elementary, who is probably in kindergarten (based on the tweet “any info on free/cheap things to do with 1.5, 3, and 5 yos this summer”). Just sayin’.. if I put that together so easily, imagine what some creepy guy looking for small children could figure out if he spent some time on it. All he’d have to do is show up at the school, look for the adult (her photo is on twitter), and see the kids she’s picking up. It’s all a little too creepy to me.
Again, I don’t think this was intentional. Something to think about, though, before you post too much info or play foursquare. Foursquare’s already had issues like this: http://www.pleaserobme.com , no need to create even more problems for ourselves.
Just my opinion. -Kelly
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 6:05 pm
@Kelly, You’re correct. She didn’t. I still fine it offensive and not okay.
I just didn’t get four square and I like it even less now. I was asked to do a whrrl story not long ago and I did it but posted it after the fact because I didn’t want people to know that I was at my local walmart when I was.
Hand me my asshole badge now…I will wear it proudly!!
.-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..The Nineteenth of May =-.
I’ve never really understood foursquare, never participated and been totally annoyed by the tweets that clog twitter. I’m with Heather, if you want to play fine, just don’t assume people care where you are and go off the grid so you don’t bother the rest of us with your location every 5 mins.
As for the school thing. I completely agree with you. That should not be tweeted, or shared on facebook, ever. It is too easy to piece info together.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..The Waiting Game =-.
I agree with you 100%. I dumped a local friend because she kept tweeting info I didn’t want out there, including our school name. She didn’t get it, called me paranoid etc.
I guess I’m an asshole too.
Also what’s the freaking point of Foursquare? Like really. Who gives a crap about being the mayor of Burger Barn? Idjits.
.-= Karen Sugarpants´s last blog ..karensugarpants: @pretendwriter he has the best lines. =-.
FourSquare just screams “I’m not home. come rob me!”
.-= Molly´s last blog ..The Bachelorette =-.
I’ve never tried, don’t know anything about it aside from what I see on my twitter stream, but I don’t understand the appeal of it. At all. Especially when the information is public. So you want people to stalk you? Because that seems like something that’s destined to happen.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Are We There Yet? =-.
issa, whatever issues you and i have had in the past, i’m putting them aside. that being said, you should’ve addressed sara (@TomTheGirl) via email if it were this bothersome to you. there is absolutely no need to take something like this and not communicate with her directly thereby treating her as a human being. if you disagree, then you disagree… but to pigeon hole her like this is just… sad.
if you have an issue with an individual, take it up with them… not on your blog.
MommyGeekology Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:39 am
@nic @mybottlesup, Issa didn’t link to her twitter, or say who the individual was. Why would you put Sara’s name on this so that now the world knows what prompted the discussion?
What does it matter who it was? Issa is using this incident as a jumping off point for a discussion. That’s pretty much the way the world works.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Just Like Her Daddy =-.
nic @mybottlesup Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 10:38 am
@MommyGeekology, no, issa did not link to sara’s tweets, but i went and called a spade a spade. it is obvious to everyone who issa was referring to as the babysitter who needed to be fired on the spot.
anyone???? honestly… anyone actually think issa was referring to someone else??? issa??? were you???? because in that case, i owe you an enormous apology.
MommyGeekology Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 10:42 am
@nic @mybottlesup, well, first of all, relax huh? I’m not attacking. Giving my opinion. My perception. I’m entitled, right?
And no, I don’t think it was obvious to *everyone*. You, perhaps. Sara, perhaps. Not everyone. You made this personal, here. Nic.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Just Like Her Daddy =-.
nic @mybottlesup Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 10:52 am
@MommyGeekology, if “making it personal” means using sara’s name and actually addressing what was taking place, since i was on the phone with sara when i found out this was going on, then yup, guilty as charged. i chose to use her name in my comment and not be passive aggressive. i called it what it was.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 10:59 am
@MommyGeekology,
Just to set the record straight, I had no idea anything was even being said until I was DM’d by MULTIPLE people that Issa was attacking me on twitter. Not one of those DM’s came from Nic.
So yes, it was obvious to many many people.
And when this post was written immediately after, especially when Issa tweeted that it was going to be her next post, it didn’t take much to put two and two together.
Anybody who knows both Issa and I knew that this was about me.
And I still think that it sucks that it was handled this way.
For those who say that this post was meant to educate people on the potential harm of 4sq and social media: please tell me how any good came out of not directly addressing ME, the person who committed this error in the first place?
I just don’t get it. If safety is the first priority, then why wouldn’t you want to talk to me about what I did? Why not msg me in ANY way and say “hey, that probably isn’t a good idea.”
I would have agreed with you.
And I wouldn’t have done it again.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
I don’t play foursquare, and until today, I actually had no idea WHY those random “I’m at…” tweets popped up.
I did, however, watch all of this unfold on twitter, and I’d like to just add my point of view.
When you saw the offending tweet, you had several options as to your course of action. One of them was the route you took, which was to fire off, let me see… 9 tweets without ever addressing the person who actually tweeted. You even went so far as to suggest she should be fired. I assume you were just hoping she’d see your tweets and catch a clue. Or maybe you were just angry and wanted to passive-agressively get your point across.
Another option, Issa, was to look at that tweet, consider the source – who, if she was a twitter follower I assume is not a complete stranger, but rather someone you interact with – and think about whether she was intentionally putting a child at risk, or perhaps wasn’t thinking about the kinds of things you were thinking about. You mentioned to her on twitter that as a sufferer of childhood abuse yourself, you do your best to shelter your kids from harm.
I was brutally raped at the age of 12, so I get that.
But maybe, from *her* frame of reference, it was harmless. Maybe she doesn’t know you can switch to being hidden on foursquare. You *could* have dm’d her and said, “Hey friend, I saw your tweet and couldn’t help but be concerned… have you thought of xyz? Just wanted to offer my perspective because it’s all about keeping the kids safe!” I mean, if it’s the kids’ safety you’re concerned about, which method do you think would be most effective?
On my blog, on twitter, or even on facebook I don’t mention the town where I live, I don’t allow twitter to post my gps location (although I do recall seeing your gps location on twitter at one point) and I sure as hell wouldn’t post my kids’ school address, but when I see someone else doing it, should I vilify them and spew venom, or offer them my point of view in an open line of communication, or should I just keep quiet? Obviously, there are always several choices.
My point, I guess, is that, in our small community, at least, shouldn’t we try to give each other the benefit of the doubt and help each other? After all, it takes a village.
xoxo
.-= Andrea’s Sweet Life´s last blog ..Food vs "Food" =-.
nic @mybottlesup Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 8:03 pm
@Andrea’s Sweet Life, damn woman, i love you.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 8:19 pm
@Andrea’s Sweet Life, Truth? I tried to unfollow her four times first. But twitter was being a jerk.
The more I thougt about it though. The more it angered me. If someone wants to tweet the location of their own child, so be it. I can unfollow and ignore. But she tweeted the location of a school of someone elses child.
Maybe I could have handled it better. But I don’t like being told that it’s okay because a fake name is used. Look at the info above. Look at what someone named kelly saw and found just from Sara’s public Twitter account. Tell me you’d want your girls info shared by a sitter. The location of their school.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 8:43 pm
@Issa,
so you know that this child is 5 and goes to elementary school. you do NOT know her name or what she looks like. you do not know what car i drive, how i pick this child up, or ANYTHING about her. i posted that i was at A SCHOOL. period.
and i consider any child i care for to be MY child as well. i would never do anything to compromise the safety of any child. ANY CHILD.
you are taking this attack on me WAY too far.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 8:57 pm
@Sara @TomTheGirl, I did not look it up. I didn’t ask anyone too. I don’t even know who Kelly is. That is the point. Someone we don’t know found out info. If you are okay with that then fine, be okay with it. I don’t find it okay. Not for any childs school ever.
Kelly Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 10:04 pm
@Issa, My point of bringing up the information I found was simply to show how easy it is for people to find information about you, your kids, etc. online. That goes for blogs and facebook too. Sara, I do agree that this was handled in the wrong way, and I think Andrea’s comment above was right on. I was just trying to say that we should all be more cautious about the information we post; something I’ve been learning with the privacy controls on Facebook, that’s all. I wasn’t really siding with anyone. Foursquare to me has always been too creepy to interest me, because I don’t like people knowing where I am. But that’s your decision. If you were watching my kid, I would probably ask you not to publich the name of the school. But I wouldn’t fire you. And I wouldn’t air it on twitter. We all make mistakes.
MommyGeekology Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:44 am
@Andrea’s Sweet Life, I didn’t see the twitter situation, so I don’t know what all was said. And I super-love Issa, so certainly my view is pretty skewed
I’ll admit that up front.
I think perhaps, though… perhaps the motivation behind spouting off without addressing the individual was because a) twitter is where we spout anything that comes to our mind and b) she didn’t want an all out fight.. just wanted to get an opinion out there. Maybe educate a few people, maybe that individual. yes, I’ll bet it seems – maybe is? – passive aggressive. Trying to avoid direct conflict almost always is.
I suppose she could have directed her concern towards that individual, but Twitter is a public forum, and as such, we all have to expect that there may be public response or outcry – from one person or hundreds – to something we say. It’s not like being out to dinner with a group of friends. It’s like being in a crowd of thousands, most of whom you haven’t even said Hello to in the street, and a few you know by name.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Just Like Her Daddy =-.
I saw someone tweet out “At the (lastname) Household, (address here), dinnertime!” I was like SERIOUSLY?! You’re tweeting out your surname and address? Ugh ugh.
.-= Tatiana´s last blog ..The toddler is winning =-.
Issa, first of all, if you had issue with me, I really wish you would have addressed me directly. I make a point of not posting ANY personal details about the children I nanny, and my foursquare tweet was the FIRST time I have done such thing. If you thought that it put the kids in harm’s way, I think that the mature thing to do would have been to tweet/dm/or email me personally and say so.
Instead, you totally flamed me on twitter. WITHOUT even letting me know what was going on. What your thoughts or opinions were. If you felt so strongly about the subject, why didn’t you let me know so that I could remedy it?
That aside, I want to point out that while I DID tweet the location of the school, I have never mentioned the child’s name, put up a picture, or said ANYTHING personal about them. EVER.
My tweet basically said “i am picking up A kid HERE.”
So you don’t think a school’s address should ever be posted. Fine, I get that. But you didn’t need to handle it the way that you did.
And to even go so far as to say I should be fired? Wow. You do NOT know me or the family I work for. You don’t know that the family and I have such open lines of communication that i TALKED TO the mom I nanny for, and explained what had transpired.
She didn’t see a problem with it, an was not upset at all. She knows the great extent that I care for her children, and watch out for them and their safety. I would never put ANY child in harm’s way.
So maybe you think I AM THE ASSHOLE. So be it. But this asshole would at least have the common courtesy to speak directly with another mother if they thought that they were endangering their children.
nic @mybottlesup Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 8:26 pm
@Sara @TomTheGirl, i’ll join you in the asshole clan, sara… i’ve been there since last fall. quite honestly, i haven’t looked back since until today, and it’s only to defend you because this is just straight up WRONG. she should have addressed you individually, period.
yes, a wrong was committed, sara. but not by you.
avasmommy Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 8:58 pm
@nic @mybottlesup,
So, apparently, once again, you think everyone is entitled to an opinion. Just as long as it’s yours?
Both of you need to take a step back and realize you’re attacking someone for having an opinion.
Sara, if you were my nanny, I’d have fired you as well. I’m glad your employer is naive enough to think it’s impossible to gain the rest of her daughter’s info in the age of technology we live in.
Nic? I don’t see how any of this at all pertains to you, but once again, good job on making something about you when it isn’t.
.-= avasmommy´s last blog ..Not Goodbye =-.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:06 pm
@avasmommy,
what an angry, hate filled comment. i have nothing else to say but congrats on stepping in it. again.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
avasmommy Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:09 pm
@Sara @TomTheGirl,
And this is why I unfollowed you to start with.
Dear god I don’t miss your holier than thou attitude.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:11 pm
@avasmommy,
glad we can agree on something.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
nic @mybottlesup Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:22 pm
@avasmommy, Jenna- the tone in which you choose to take with me concerning someone else’s post is disturbing to say the very least. I made it clear to Issa in my original comment that “issues aside” here is what I feel went wrong. Is this about me? No. It is about my friend being pigeon holed. If you STILL have unresolved issues with me, shoot me an email, but don’t think for one minute that I busted in here to make this drama about me. That is where you are wrong and where you need to let go.
avasmommy Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:28 pm
@nic @mybottlesup,
Oh please. You make everything about you.
And what good will it do to send you an email? I have learned to expect nothing in the way of answers from you.
We? Are done here.
Issa?
I will apologize to you for bringing ugliness to your blog. But I do stand by everything I’ve said.
.-= avasmommy´s last blog ..Not Goodbye =-.
nic @mybottlesup Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:51 pm
@avasmommy, Wow. I am so thankful to trust where I am, Jenna, and know that you have no part of it. Just when I think things could possibly be seen in a better, cleaner light… or from another’s perspective, you say that. Good choice. It reaffirmed mine.
MommyGeekology Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:47 am
@Sara @TomTheGirl, Seems to be a lot of anger around this… and maybe I’d be pissed too.
Probably she could have addressed you individually… but like I said above. Twitter is a public forum, and you have to expect that there may or may not be fallout from what you say or do online. And that fallout isn’t going to be the same as if you were all sitting in a room together, you know?
I’m sure you would have been less angry – maybe – if she had addressed just you, but I think the big thing for Issa, from what this post says (I wasn’t on twitter at the time this went down) is that it’s a bigger issue, and this incident was a jumping off point for discussion.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Just Like Her Daddy =-.
Personally I hate that it clogs my feed…just like BEJEWELED. *SNORT* At least you can hide that on FB.
I completely agree with the school thing. No doubt. I really don’t know much about it, frankly I learned a lot from Heather’s comment. So if that’s the case…GREAT! But off the grid is the way to go, if you don’t HAVE to tweet it, why do you? I figured you HAD to.
Anyway, I mostly ignore it…but I am with you 100% on the schools, they should not be in he foursquare data base.
.-= Lu´s last blog ..Waiting =-.
Aside from the annoying 4sq updates on twitter feeds, I’m just surprised that people, moms in particular, can manage to check-in with their kids around.
And then, what’s really the point? I get that you can earn secret discounts and become the mayor of places, and from what I hear, it’s become a sort of fun/competitive thing with the youngsters out there.
But in discussing it with a social media expert (who is a childless youngster), she was wondering how moms feel about using it. And it sort of freaks me out.
And also, who gives a shit as to where I am at any given time, particularly with my kids!
When I was on business alone in Chicago, I actually thought it would be cool to check-in at the fun places I was visiting. But then I just decided to enjoy those places and not bother annoying people with my location.
I’d rather just do it anyway with a series of tweets.
Just reply with “I just checked in to your mom.”
.-= Maria´s last blog ..Special =-.
Issa Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:05 pm
@Maria, Lol. Thanks dude. I’m so using that one now.
Miss Grace Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 10:27 am
@Maria, Best. Idea. Ever.
.-= Miss Grace´s last blog ..Diptychs – Juicy and Complicated =-.
Amen sister. Four Square is beyond irritating with the Targets and the restaurants and the grocery stores. I don’t give a rats a** where you are and if you’re the mayor or the joker. And really, who does?
But the school? That’s horrible. I haven’t seen that but if I did, I’d definitely say something to that person and if they disagree, well that’s fine. But there’s no way they’d ever have my kid over for a play date.
.-= Karen Chatters´s last blog ..I need a valium =-.
I personally would not share such details and if I did foursquare it would only be to get the discounts. But I have to say… I really hate to see two people I love and respect openly be at odds about it. I love the blogging community. I know people have differing opinions about all kinds of stuff. But battling about it seems counterproductive and to be honest, damaging to us all. People pick sides. Blame. Hurt feelings.
I’m pro open discussion.
I love you.
.-= Lex (@laprimera)´s last blog ..first comes love =-.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:12 pm
@Lex (@laprimera),
lex, what choice do i have but to stand up for myself? i don’t want to argue, but this is very upsetting to me.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
Lex (@laprimera) Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:25 pm
@Sara @TomTheGirl, Sara, that’s what I mean. I would be upset if I were you as well. Even if I might agree with Issa’s point… It just saddens me to see how this played out.
I think Andrea said it well up above.
.-= Lex (@laprimera)´s last blog ..first comes love =-.
also, i’d like to point out that putting ANY info about your child online is asking for trouble. just a little bit of info goes a long way, right? i’m sure from the info on MOST blogs, ppl could find out a child’s name, where they live (public record/phone book listing of the parents), which makes it easy to find them, especially with all the pictures put up. people blog about their child’s activities, play groups, times they pick them up from school, etc. if somebody wants to know something, they will find out.
as for me? i’m sitting there in that parking lot 15 minutes before the bell rings, so i can see the kid i nanny walk out of the school and directly into my car.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
Maria Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:00 pm
@Sara @TomTheGirl, Bloggers should also be aware of school uniforms, school shirts, school signs in photos, other children in photos. The list goes on and on. And I think a more productive way to address all this might be a general discussion on ways to be safer online.
There aren’t any absolutely accepted standards, but it can’t help for us to develop and encourage best practices as a community. When it comes to kids.
.-= Maria´s last blog ..Special =-.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:13 pm
@Maria,
agreed. i’m all for the positive.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
Um, in all seriousness though, I don’t think this warranted this kind of post. Maybe what Sara did was wrong or unwise but I bet after hearing your opinion or the opinion of others she’d refrain from checking in to a school type place.
We ALL slip up.
With so much overlap in followers and readerships, this isn’t the same as writing about some unknown person. This was hurtful, and I know you’re hurt and freaked out but I’m not sure lashing out in THIS way was the most effective way to encourage change.
As a former caretaker, I also know how bad it cuts to the core to have someone suggest you should be FIRED. That’s pretty brutal.
I’m not defending the check in thing. And FourSquare tweets annoy the shit out of me in general. But ughhhh.
.-= Maria´s last blog ..Special =-.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:01 pm
@Maria,
lol
Thanks Maria. You are right. Had I been personally addressed, I would have remedied the situation immediately.
But I was just attacked. And HARD.
fyi – i removed the link from foursquare to twitter. one less thing to clog your feed
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
nic @mybottlesup Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:09 pm
@Maria, agreed Maria. This has gone way beyond four-square and that saddens me.
MommyGeekology Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:49 am
@Maria, I think this is something that needs to be discussed – and since Issa (in her original post — commenters “outed” Sara) didn’t point fingers directly, I don’t necessarily think it was inappropriate.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Just Like Her Daddy =-.
Pingback: Tweets that mention So you like to FourSquare? | Issa's Crazy World -- Topsy.com
The funny thing about this blogging world is that we all choose what we do and do not put out there. What we cannot choose is how people react to it. And I think that our acceptance of the fact that we cannot control people’s reactions is implicit in every blog post, tweet, and Facebook status.
What bothers me is when we forget that by putting it out there, we are accepting that we may not like the reaction we get. Certainly, because we are human, things can be hurtful or seem unnecessarily cruel. But also, because we are human, we all make mistakes. And we are all different, so it is not our place to judge the actions or reactions or others. We are human–we all see, hear, think, feel, and act differently. That’s what makes this community what it is.
What I think causes this this community to deteriorate are situations like this. I’m not referring to Sara’s tweet or Issa’s post. What I’m referring to is the vilification of two women, two mothers, two bloggers in these comments. The taking of sides. It’s ugly. It’s alienating. And it’s just plain unkind.
We are are entitled to our mistakes. We are entitled to our opinions. We are entitled to our rights and wrongs. Hopefully we are all adult enough to understand that no one of us always completely in the right or completely in the wrong. Life is a vast grey area.
What we are not entititled to do is judge each other like this. This is our community–imperfections and all. It’s only ever going to be what we make it. Issa and Sara may have started the fire, but was the rest of us fanning the flame.
.-= Allyson @ The Joy Circus´s last blog ..Relief =-.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:29 pm
@Allyson @ The Joy Circus,
Allyson, I was attacked. Plain and simple. Since this issue is important to me, I felt it necessary to defend myself and my actions. I hate being a part of this, but if I don’t stand up for myself, who will?
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
Allyson Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:42 pm
@Sara @TomTheGirl,
Sara, My comment wasn’t directed at you or Issa. You both have every right to your opinion and to defend those opinions. It’s not mine to get in the middle of. Which is, in part, the point I was trying to make.
.-= Allyson´s last blog ..Relief =-.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 9:46 pm
@Allyson,
i know, but I feel like i’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. i don’t want to continue with this nonsense, but i have to defend myself. this is just a bunch of horseshit.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
MommyGeekology Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:51 am
@Allyson @ The Joy Circus, agreed. Bottom line is that this post wasn’t pointing fingers directly at anyone – it was a discussion that took an incident as a jumping off point. The commenters made it personal.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Just Like Her Daddy =-.
And now the comments on this post are just plain BITCHY and catty and down right nasty!!! Really?!?! I thought everyone here were adults. And now people are bashing others for their opinions on the matter. Isn’t having our opinion what we fight for daily? I have mine; you and you and YOU have yours…they may not always be the same, but that’s what is so great.
I can see a case for both sides. I don’t care for 4square, I could never get into the “game”. It just wasn’t for me, I’m more of a Farmville girl. My theory if you want to 4square your location have at it. It doesn’t effect me, so I don’t care. I agree that publishing a school address or home address is probably not a smart thing to do, but again not me, not my kid (or the kids I sit for), you’re an adult you do what you want. I think this whole situation (especially since it upset you so much) should have been handled off Twitter/Blogs an email or DM voicing your concern would have been enough.
Just my 2 cents on the situation.
.-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..I’m not a Princess, this ain’t a fairy tale… =-.
nic @mybottlesup Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 10:01 pm
@AmazingGreis, agreed.
I watched this unfold today. In my opinion this was handled so horribly. If I saw a friend tweet something that concerned me I would connect with them via DM or email.
Issa I have to disagree with your “blanket statement” about tweeting a school location because when Sara directly addressed you, you admitted it was about her! I have read your blog for over a year and I have can’t recall ever reading something so downright hateful. Or maybe I have but it didn’t affect me because you weren’t attacking MY friend.
Your hatred of Foursquare is known. I use Foursquare. I “get” it and I mainly “play” with my girlfriend and other friends who are local to me. I can understand the annoyance of Foursquare tweets clogging up your Twitter feed. There is always going to be something on Twitter that annoys you, me, the next person. Same with my Facebook.
I understand your point about predators and child abusers. I totally get it. I think you could have made your point without verbally attacking Sara’s character. This post comes across as bitchy, rude and with a dose of holier than thou attitude.
Honestly, when I read this conversation between you two, it seemed like Sara’s tweet set you off and you are angry about something else. Her tweet was perfect timing for your tirade. It could have been me. I’ve “checked in” at my kids schools. If that makes me an asshole, so be it. If you choose to unfollow me, so be it.
I was going to start with some joke about how people don’t want a national ID card, or fear big brother government, yet they’ll tweet what Target aisle in which Target there in. Then I read all the comments.
Whatever the intention, (and I truly do not think ANY harm was intended), this has now “gone viral.” I am a total stranger to all of you. I saw a RT of this article by a person I just started following 2 hours ago. I can understand being upset if you feel attacked. I can also see being so upset by this topic to blog VEHEMENTLY about it. The problem is, in the follow up comments here by a common Twitter follower and then the initial Foursquare poster- I now know the whole story. I can estimate the age of “the kid” and by clipping a few id’s here and the twitter names, I can get a general area. My only detective experience is shaking down my son to see what he snuck in to the playroom, and I can figure it all out.
My point is simply this- this stuff is just SO out there, and it doesn’t go away simply becuase a post is “deleted.” The data still lives. The child’s mom may be ok with what happened, but would she be ok knowing that the incident then went viral, with her child being “the subject?”
This is just my opinion- but Issla’s post is a good cautionary tale and it would be important for people to see. The follow up comments that tip off the ID of the Foursquare user/ nanny (incl hers) should be deleted by those posters or by the blogger simply to reinstitute some privacy for your client and her child.
.-= Jersey Diva Mom´s last blog ..What the Hell is it about mornings? =-.
I had a big long reply crafted in my head, but then Andrea went and stole it all. *dramatic sigh*
The only thing I would add is that none of us our perfect. I’m the first one to admit I’m far from a perfect parent. So I have a hard time condemning someone for a one-time possible lapse in judgment.
I don’t like 4sq. Never have. So I filter it out now (thank you tweetdeck!).
And I totally understand your concerns over the app.
Where I think this went sideways is when you decided to try and hold up one person, who is fairly well liked and respected, in our little blogging clique as an example of everything that is wrong with 4sq. A general “This is why 4sq could be dangerous” without the finger pointing might have gotten the point across just as well and without the hurt feelings on both sides.
.-= PrincessJenn´s last blog ..Preschool, School, Homeschool… *headdesk* =-.
I’m really confused here. If Sara never posted a picture, divulged the name or otherwise described in any discernible way the child under her care, how would foursquaring that she was at a school put that child in any danger? I’m wracking my mind here thinking of ways anyone could take advantage of that info? It’s not like that location never has kids in it, and by foursquaring it, she alerted pedophiles that there were kids at the school right now. Schools always have kids in them. School addresses are public info. The only thing she did was make it easy for someone stalking HER to find her. And if you’re implying that if someone stalking Sara would take advantage of the opportunity and also kidnap a kid, then I get where you’re coming from. But that’s a bit of a reach, isn’t it?
An address itself puts no one in danger. It’s only when that address is linked to a discernible individual that it becomes a danger. As far as I can tell, if she never divulged any information on the children, then any kid at that school could have been kidnapped. But then again, would someone kidnap a random kid at a random school just because someone foursquared it??
Under this logic, I could tweet that I’m having coffee at the Starbucks on Baldwin Ave. and put all the kids who happen to be there in danger.
That said, I think Foursquare is a pointless waste of Twitter space. But that’s foursquare’s problem, not Sara’s.
.-= BusyDad´s last blog ..I love it when a punishment comes together =-.
I’m the mayor of my sofa (location hidden)
.-= Formerly Gracie´s last blog ..Tuesdays with Avery (and Ansley, too) =-.
I’ve been watching this from the start, since earlier today. I think that Issa is right. *shrug*
I’m not saying that as a personal attack on Sara. I think that by NOT calling her out in her tweet, Issa did the right thing. SARA is the one who took it upon HERSELF to @ Issa and ask if she was addressing her. Issa said she was but ALSO that she’s seen people tweet school addresses before. Sara’s tweet was the catalyst today, what pushed her over the edge you could say, what made her tweet that tweet today.
Is it right? I don’t know. I’m looking at it from a personal place. If it was someone who was watching my child, if I PAID them to do so and I saw that, I would be furious and yes, they would be fired. It is not their right to do so, regardless of how well they think they do their job or how much they care for my kid. Cyber stalking is fucking REAL and its SCARY and if someone who was internet stalking me really wanted to take my child and did their homework, in this case they may know who my nanny is and would be watching them too. In this case, my kid would have been put in danger today. It’s an extreme example but it’s a real one.
I know it wasn’t Sara’s intent. I don’t think its anyone’s. But the threat is real to someone out there and that is all that matters.
I totally understand Sara’s need to defend herself. But to be perfectly honest here, Issa never named names. She never linked or said who she was talking about. Sara came here and defended herself, her friends jumped in and started claiming this was a personal attack and I just don’t see it as one. Sorry. Maybe had Issa linked, I’d be agreeing but she didn’t. It was always about foursquare and SAFETY, regardless of what Nic says up there. It wasn’t Issa who took it away from there. Just sayin’.
This is an informative post that was taken as a personal attack and I don’t think that the original tweet was put out there thinking “wow I hate Sara, I’m going to attack her”. No it was “I don’t agree with that and I’m going to say something.” Look at it this way…. all the DRAMAZ could have been avoided had Issa DM’d her but couldn’t we also say that Sara could have DM’d Issa and said “are you referring to me?” instead of publicly @ing her? Sure. Stop pointing fingers. What’s done is done. I don’t think it was right and I agree it was dangerous. But does that make anyone a bad person in my eyes? No, we all make mistakes.
Now is the time to raise awareness about this kind of thing. Or will it take seeing a story similar to this on the news to make people realize its not ok? It’s Basic internet 101. I’m sure there are plenty of stories, horrifying ones, out there already.
.-= Miss´s last blog ..11 is just one shy of 12 =-.
Sara @TomTheGirl Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 10:50 pm
@Miss,
Miss, I just wish that she had spoken to me first if she thought i had done something so terribly wrong….if only to let me know that other people may not see my actions as being so harmless.
This post wasn’t a post “in general”, it was about me.
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..things i’ve learned =-.
Miss Reply:
June 1st, 2010 at 11:05 pm
@Sara @TomTheGirl,
I agree that she could have handled it differently but you could have too in your initial reply. Regardless, and please don’t think I’m trying to be catty, but she isn’t the one still talking about it on twitter.
As for the post, if it was about you, she would have named you, linked to you. The post said “someone I was following”. Not “sara”. She said on twitter that she’s seen other people do that before and it made her angry. Today your tweet was THE tweet that pushed her over the edge on it. It happens. I honestly don’t think it was a personal attack on you, meant to just be hurtful. While you took it that way, she isn’t responsible for the way you’ve reacted. Your reaction is understandable but this post? Was about you and ANYONE ELSE who’s ever done that or has thought of doing it. Period.
Bottom line, you’ve made your foursquare stuff private yes? So maybe what happened hit home a little. Maybe you’ll think twice about sharing stuff like that. Maybe we all will. I hope we all will anyways.
You’re not a bad person and neither is Issa. This situation got out of control. But I still agree with the general message of SAFETY FIRST.
.-= Miss´s last blog ..11 is just one shy of 12 =-.
Oh my gosh. Maybe I’m missing something, but I can’t believe all the negative reactions and defensiveness Issa’s post stirred up. I read the blog post, and what I took out of it (besides her dislike of Foursquare) was her very strong concern about children’s safety and that people need to be very aware of the information they’re putting out on social websites. Issa never named names in her blog. She didn’t post a link to the tweet she was referencing. I don’t see an evil intention in the blog post at all. This is Issa’s blog, she was expressing her opinion and concern on here. Some of the mean comments on here just make me sad – all these grown women acting like middle school girls. The cliques, the cattiness, the egos…
Issa, I’m sticking with my belief that your intention was to vent and to educate and to protect. Because that’s what I got out of your post.
As an unknown in this cyber circle, I found this blog b/c of a Twitter stream. As a mother and semi-cyber person, I have mixed feelings on how I feel about tweeting or 4sq-ing or FB-ing your location with an address of a child. I do not have a horror story in my past to make me freaked out beyond belief. My child is in day care that I feel completely safe having him in, with no worry of child abduction or anything.
However… watching a group of women (and a man) argue about personal attacks is ridiculous. If you have a problem with something someone one does, be a grown up and talk to them. This is someone’s private blog though, so she has the right to write whatever she likes. If you don’t like what is written, use your own blog or Twitter or FB or whatever social media you like to express your feelings. Unfortunately, this is a no win situation for anyone involved.
I love both you Issa and you Sara. I hate to see how these comments unfolded. That being said, I get why Sara felt the need to defend herself. We as mothers have this nature to step up and defend our actions because we know what’s best for our kids. HOWEVER, I agree that saying the location of a school is wrong. I echo what Miss said. I don’t think Issa was trying to bully. And I don’t think that Sara was wrong in defending herself. The bigger picture is child safety. I post pics of my girls with their real names on my blog so I’d NEVER put my location esp if they were with me. That’s just me though. I will not stop being friends with either one of you. We’re all adults and can do what we want. I personally hate 4 sq.
.-= Becky´s last blog ..A life is beautiful kind of weekend =-.
Skipping all comments to say this: It’s not just child safety, tweeting that you just left home (with the address), is giving people an opportunity to rob you, etc.
And foursquare is effin’ annoying. I filter out foursquare tweets w/tweetdeck, so I don’t see any of it. Thank.God.
.-= Miss Grace´s last blog ..Diptychs – Juicy and Complicated =-.
In addition to everything you said about safety, predators, protection, etc (which, by the way, AMEN SISTER), its just freaking annoying. Microblogging should be short and sweet, not give me every detail of where you are all damn day long.
I REALLY don’t care. Promise. Not even a little.
(Love this entry)
.-= The Grown Up Teenager´s last blog ..It’s That Time Of The Year =-.