I have all these things in my head. Things I can’t talk about here. Not yet at least. It is hard to know what to say, what not to say. I keep hearing my mother’s voice telling me, don’t write anything on your blog that could come back to haunt you in a court of law. Which sounds silly I’m sure. However, in the midst of a divorce, it makes complete sense.
My problem is, I blog what is in my head. It’s my process. It’s how I grieve, deal, learn, heal. I’ve always said what I wanted. I’ve always posted what I needed too. This has always been my place, for just me. I’ve been able to say things I wouldn’t because most of my family doesn’t know about this blog. Yet, he does. He knows it’s here.
It’s not even that the things I want to say are bad. It’s just, there comes a point where a line was drawn. The line between him and me. What can be said, what can’t be said. The line seems fuzzy to me in the moment. I’m unsure what to do.
So what does one talk about, when everything you want to say, seems off limits?
17 Responses to What do you say?
Grab My Button!
I’m a joiner
I’ve wondered that many times.
I have no answer for you.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah recently posted..Bus Wrecks
I wish I had the answer. Judging by the number of times I’ve had to dust the cobwebs off my blog, I think it’s fair to say I have no idea.
Allyson recently posted..A birthday card of sorts
zombies.
You knew I would come up with the smart ass answer.
avasmommy recently posted..Letting Go
Thus my YouTube post last week.
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It’s the reason I haven’t blogged in ages. I’ve got lots to say but am afraid of the consequences. Good luck with your decision.
Issa Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:28 am
@But Why Mommy, I know. I so do friend. I do miss you not blogging though.
I know how you feel. It’s so frustrating to have so many things that you want to say and not be able to say them. I have a private blog for those but it’s not quite the same when you don’t have commiseration. I can’t tell you how many things my Ex has done that I’ve wanted to blog about (especially the time he brought our son’s shoes to me to clean – he had stepped in dog crap).
I respect the line but it doesn’t make it easy!
Issa Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:23 am
@Ewokmama, Dude, that is so uncool. Sheesh. I am over it in this moment, but I hate that I now need to think that way. The, can this be used against me later way.
Oh boy that’s tough one… I can’t always say what I want to because too many State Dept people read mine, and I know I’ll piss someone off, or worse, get Matt in trouble.
I agree with you – I appreciate saying what I think and not holding back. But there’s that fine line that we all seem to deal with that really, just sucks.
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Issa Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:14 am
@Jill, Email. I emailed it to some people. It helped, just to be able to write it out.
My problem is in the moment, I have to start thinking, is this worth the future trouble it may cause…and that I don’t like doing, but it’s a necessity.
Man … this stinks.
I totally agree with you not saying something that could bite you in the butt with divorce proceedings … even emails are dangerous ground.
I would suggest that you write those things anyway … save them in draft and just don’t hit publish. (not just yet anyway)
Writing is cathartic … and there will likely come a day when you DO feel you can write about it.
OR you could do it all anonymously like Unhitched Chick ::
http://unhitchedchick.com/
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Issa Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:13 am
@naomi, Thank you for that website. I’ll have to check it out. In this moment, I’m over it. Is sometimes hard in the moment to not say what I want, but waiting helped.
I either try to say it vaguely on my blog OR I email a friend
xo
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Issa Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:12 am
@becky, LOL. Yes on both. Eh, in this moment, I’m over it.
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I don’t know. I can’t imagine being in that situation, and your mom is right. You could risk some serious consequences if someone takes what you write in a moment of grief or anger the wrong way.
You can always start an anonymous blog and only let some friends know about it. Or you could password protect some more sensitive things for a while…
Issa Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:11 am
@tracey, What’s funny, is this blog is pretty anonymous. Ha.
Yeah, it’s just not worth it.