Lu, I thought long and hard about what I could say to you today. Then it hit me. Since I’ve been over the 30 mark for a a whole 14 months, I have vast knowledge of varying degrees of importance that I could share with you. I mean imagine how helpful that is. *it’s okay, you can laugh*
Anyway, here it goes. The VERY IMPORTANT THINGS I have leaned since turning the BIG 30!
1. Everyone who is older than me and told me 30 was no biggie, was right. Everyone younger who told me it was scary was wrong.
2. Naps are important. I think this will be true for the rest of my life. Nap. It’s good for you.
3. Always get the extra shot of espresso.
4. Donuts are a necessity to a good life.
5. You are NEVER to old for Disney.
6. It’s okay to be wrong sometimes. Just remember to sometimes admit it. People like that. It’s all adult and shit.
7. Order the dessert at a nice restaurant. It’s always worth it.
8. Sometimes a night spent at home watching TV and eating ice cream is better than a night out.
9. I choose my battles wisely. Because really? Arguing with stupid people isn’t worth my time. I could use that time more wisely. Like for playing Angry Birds and Tweeting.
10. I have started taking myself less seriously. Also I’m working on not being so dam serious all the time. It’s good to be a work in progress. It gives you goals.
11. A night spent drinking means the next two are spent feeling like a slug.
12. There are friends, acquaintances and people you just plain don’t need in your life. Sometimes it takes something bad to happen, to see where people really fall on that list.
13. I get a shit load done in a day, if I wake up early. Who knew?
14. The laundry will never be really done.
15. I’m in a new box for age on forms. Welcome to my box. It’s pretty here.
16. I get to say, “I remember when I was in my 20s”. I also get to call teenagers babies. Because hi, they are.
17. It is a milestone birthday, one that is really easy to remember.
18. It is very exciting to say “I am 30?.
19. You have ten years before you have to even think about turning 40.
20. When you happen to get carded it feels really cool.
21. You can tell younger people, oh you will know that when you are in your 30?s. Even though it’s bullshit? They don’t know it.
22. Eat candy when you want. Whatever damage it may cause to your teeth has already been done.
23. Celebrate every birthday like it’s a milestone one. Saying it’s just another day may be technically correct, but it’s the day you were born and that is always worth celebrating.
24. When in doubt? Pick the comfy shoes.
25. Laughing really is the best medicine.
26. Drink more water. It’s good for you.
27. Spend more time with great friends and ignore the drama filled ones.
28. Don’t cheat too much on your taxes. The IRS is getting very crafty at finding things.
29.Throw out the clothes that don’t fit. Don’t wait to fit into them again. When you get back to whatever size that is? Celebrate by buying new clothes.
30. Always remember that your best friends are here to pick you up when you are down. We’ll tell you that your boobs are hanging out of that dress a bit too much, we’ll tell you when you are being dumb and also remind you that tomorrow will be better when you have a bad day. We tell the truth. It’s our job. BFF law and all that.
Happy birthday to you my amazing friend.
Love, Issa
I used to have a few of those Guinness records books when I was a kid. My brother and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. We marveled over the strongest man and the woman with the most children ever. We wondered if tree mans mom had done it with an oak tree somehow and we talked about how weird it would be to be short enough to walk under peoples chairs. The lady with the longest hair always made me cringe. Can you imagine having to brush that?
Hours were spent pouring over this book. Medical marvels. Greatest feats. Scientifically odd. Facts.
I always did like facts.
After a time, I stopped looking in that book. I knew all of it. I never really thought about it again. Until last weekend, when Morgan saw it and wanted it at Barnes & Noble. Of course it’s the newest version. The 2011 version with “thousands” of new facts. Not some weird 1989 copy that I’d had for years. I wasn’t going to buy it for her. It seemed like a waste of money. But then…I remembered sitting with my brother for hours in the backseat of a car, giggling over the weirdness. Who am I to not give that to my children?
Last night as they laughed at the woman with the longest nails and discussed the largest star, I thought, hey this is kinda cool. I am passing on something good. Something besides a love for cooking and design shows. They are learning something and having a good time. What could possibly be wrong with that?
Then Bailey got mad at Harrison and smacked him with the book. But hey, things happen right?
Am I the only one who loved this crazy stuff? I can’t be, right? Not with the amount of shows on TLC and Discovery channel.
ps. I wrote a post over HERE, if you are interested.
Today is my lovely friend Jill’s birthday. Jill is that friend. The kind of friend everyone should have. The kind of friend that you don’t actually remember how you met, but you are forever grateful that you did. The kind of friend who makes you laugh your ass off, because she will say absolutely anything. The girl may have a filter, but I’ve yet to find it. I love that about her.
In general, I love everything about her. She’s sweet, caring, funny, sarcastic and downright amazing.
Jill is the type of friend who will take her kids out of school for a day, drive six hours one way, with three kids and a dog…just to be able to see you for a day. You being me. I will always love her for that.
She sends me photos of her dog about to kiss the phone to make me smile. She texts me when I’m sad. She never fails to be there when I need her. She sends me photos of the ocean when I need them and photos of her crying son to make me laugh. When I needed to know what to say in an email the other day, she sent me and exact script. It was perfection.
She is the woman you want on your side, not on the other side. I’ve seen the things she can accomplish when need be. Trust me, you don’t want her as your enemy. If given the power, I’m sure she could run this country. She’s short but scrappy.
Everyone should have a Jill in their life. She makes life so much brighter.
For her, I wish for a painless move to DC. I wish for all of her stuff to be released from purgatory in Germany or wherever it’s being held captive. I wish for a few amazing years in your new home, a home filled with friends and family and no drama. Mostly though, I wish for the time between now and when Matt comes home from Iraq to go fast.
Happy birthday friend. I can’t wait to see you. I mean we’ve only got what, nine weeks to go?
Love you, Issa
Bailey: MOMMY you WILL drive me to Pixie’s house for the sleepover RIGHT NOW or I will walk there my own self! MAKE A CHOICE MOMMY!
Me: Oh my choice? Funny that you should ask. My choice is you give me your iTouch right now, since it’s now mine until Saturday and you go sit on your bed. That’s my choice. NOW! Until you can act like a calm human.
Bailey: You are the worstest mommy EVER! *slams door*
Me: *opens door* For that door slam, your iTouch is mine till Sunday. Would you like to try for longer?
Bailey: *glares* I didn’t say HATE! BUT I COULD!
Me: You are seriously pushing it.
Let’s just say it wasn’t the best evening. She wanted to go somewhere, a last second un-planned sleepover. Yesterday was the last day of school, but it didn’t matter, I didn’t want her to go. Anyone with a child can understand the rest. She sat on her bed randomly screaming things at me for a bit, before she calmed down. She normally does, the easily calming down. She’s actually my easiest child. So far at least. Her iTouch is mine for a few days and she did apologize to me for her behavior. All ended on an okay note.
The hard part came later. The hard questions at bedtime. Mommy, I know I was rude and I’m sorry but why can’t you ever say yes to me going to Pixie’s house? You never do, you know? Every time you say, maybe next time. When does next time come?
Sigh. I’ll tell you what, I will think about that one, if you will think about how you can act differently next time, when I say that no means no. Deal?
Deal.
For tonight? We’re going to go with, it wasn’t a good night for it.
I left her room knowing that I sucked at parenting in the moment. I know that I made that entire thing worse by not being able to explain my real reasons to her. I know that I tell her maybe next time every freaking time she asks. I let her go other places. I let her sleepover with other friends. If it had been any other friend, she’d of probably been there last night. The girl has playdates. She goes to birthday parties. But not there. Not with this friend.
How do you explain a gut feeling to a six year old? How do you say, her dad creeps me out and you will never ever be allowed to play over there?
Because that’s the truth. That girl is welcome here. I think she’s a bit odd, but she’s nice enough. Her dad gives me that feeling though and I will never allow my child to be at their house. Not for a birthday party, not for a playdate and certainly not to spend the night.
Chris Rock once made a joke about his only goal in life was to keep his daughters off the pole. Funny, yes. Accurate, not quite.
My goal as a mother is to raise happy, intelligent, self-confident, responsible, caring, loving individuals. To send them out into the world one day and know that they will make good adults. That’s one of my main goals as a parent.
The other? Is to keep them safe. I can’t foresee so many things. I am not a higher power, nor do I have one on speed dial. But dammit it’s my number one goal to not let anyone touch my babies. Not a single person harming my children. Never. I know first hand the damage that causes. I will never knowingly put my kids in that situation. The only way I can even try to make that happen is by being super vigilant. I’m over the top neurotic on who my kids are left with. Trust me when I say, that I know this may not be enough. But the only way I do this each day, the only way I let them leave my house each day not in a protective bubble with a electrocuted barrier around it, is to be like this. To never falter in my job. My job of saying no. My job of never letting them go with the people who give me the creeps. Not even for a minute.
It makes me a bit unpopular at times. I’m okay with that. I’m lucky that my ex-husband is 100% behind this. Before he lets the kids go anywhere with new friends, he always asks me first.
But to explain that to my almost seven year old? I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that. Not to her. Not to her big sister. Not to their baby brother. I do not know how to do it. How do you tell your children, I need to protect you the way I wish I was protected…without ever burdening them in that way? I have no clue.
Last night I chose to say, no means no. Last night I chose having my daughter mad at me all evening. Last night? I chose the easy door.
Grab My Button!
I’m a joiner
