This week, as most of you likely know (because I’m a Twitter complainer), I was hacked. Hacked at the server level by a evil blog eating clown. It destroyed my entire blog and corrupted the server database. This was what I found when alerted that my blog was gone on Tuesday:
I hear there was creepy music as well, but since I keep my computer speakers off, I never heard it. That was what was left in the place of my blog.
Gone. In an instant, three years of my life was gone. Every word. Every photo. Every comment. Luckily, most have now been restored. The rest are gone for good. Photos in any post are forever lost. Some comments as well. There is no way to get them back.
After waiting for three days for my old blog host to cough over my corrupted server, my best friend Jenna has managed to resurrect my blog. She is a hero. My own personal savior. I owe her big time. I offered her my first born, but a bossy nine year old with stinky feet didn’t seem to be something she wanted.
It’s not just my words that I lost this week. It was my heart and soul. I pour both into my posts and they felt stolen. I have felt very violated this week. I still do, even though I now have a place to call my home again. It felt like someone came and hacked off my leg. I needed that leg. I need that leg. This has been emotionally and mentally exhausting.
I readily admit to being dumb. I used the same password for years and years and years. It was the same for my blog, multiple email accounts, Facebook and Twitter. I am not kidding when I say years. I’ve used the same password for six years. Now of course all of them have been changed. I’ll start changing them on the first of every month.
However, I didn’t hack myself. Some evil clown did. Just because he felt bored, most likely. I thought my host would protect me. They didn’t. In fact, they hold themselves 100% not responsible. They blame WP. They blame me. They accept none of the blame. Needless to say, I have now switched hosts.
Friends, I want you to learn from my mistakes. Back up your blog. Send a good back-up to your email once a week and keep it. Don’t trash them like I did. Keep them. If you don’t know how and trust me, I don’t either, then please go see this great post by Schmutzie.
Change your passwords every month. This was possibly my downfall. Use something odd. Don’t use your kids names. I thought I was safe by using my kids real names and not their blog names. Yeah. I wasn’t thinking.
In the end, it’s not possible to not be hacked. They, whoever they may be, are extremely good at this. It’s not personal to them, it’s random. I thought I was safe. I thought I was too small a blogger to ever be noticed, much less hacked. I was wrong. So very wrong.
You never know how important something is to you, until it’s gone. I now know without a doubt how very important this site is to me. I’ve been lost without it the past few days. I am so very thankful to have it back.
Please learn from me friends. Please. Protect yourself. Protect your words. Try and protect your heart from what I’ve been through.
**Thank you, thank you times a zillion to the amazing, talented Jenna.
Today is my lovely friend Jill’s birthday. Jill is that friend. The kind of friend everyone should have. The kind of friend that you don’t actually remember how you met, but you are forever grateful that you did. The kind of friend who makes you laugh your ass off, because she will say absolutely anything. The girl may have a filter, but I’ve yet to find it. I love that about her.
In general, I love everything about her. She’s sweet, caring, funny, sarcastic and downright amazing.
Jill is the type of friend who will take her kids out of school for a day, drive six hours one way, with three kids and a dog…just to be able to see you for a day. You being me. I will always love her for that.
She sends me photos of her dog about to kiss the phone to make me smile. She texts me when I’m sad. She never fails to be there when I need her. She sends me photos of the ocean when I need them and photos of her crying son to make me laugh. When I needed to know what to say in an email the other day, she sent me and exact script. It was perfection.
She is the woman you want on your side, not on the other side. I’ve seen the things she can accomplish when need be. Trust me, you don’t want her as your enemy. If given the power, I’m sure she could run this country. She’s short but scrappy.
Everyone should have a Jill in their life. She makes life so much brighter.
For her, I wish for a painless move to DC. I wish for all of her stuff to be released from purgatory in Germany or wherever it’s being held captive. I wish for a few amazing years in your new home, a home filled with friends and family and no drama. Mostly though, I wish for the time between now and when Matt comes home from Iraq to go fast.
Happy birthday friend. I can’t wait to see you. I mean we’ve only got what, nine weeks to go?
Love you, Issa
Last week was amazing. A much needed break from the nightmare of the past few months.
There was sushi and cake. Lots of cake. Cupcakes and whipped cream too. There were days spent shopping. Hours spent laughing. There were long conversations with my best friend. Many, many dinners out. There were visits with friends and family and best yet, friends who are like family. There were dozens and dozens of amazingly sweet birthday messages from all of you. There was a plane ride where I talked to the nice lady next to me for two hours straight. And the plane ride where I read Ree’s new book for two hours straight.
At home after five days gone, there was happy kids. Chocolate and jelly bean day. Stuffing and hiding plastic eggs for three kids who managed to find them all. There are parents who just moved to the state after three years of planning. A grill sitting on my back patio compliments of my step-dad. And plans to paint my bedroom this coming week.
For nine full days, I had a break. A glorious, amazing, fabulous break. A much needed break. I was able to breath. I was able to laugh. The constant pain between my shoulder blades went away and my ulcers went back into hiding.
Last night as I walked toward my sleeping sick son’s room to re-dose him with Motrin, I ran smack into a wall. Yeah, I’m slick like that. It felt like being hit with reality. This morning I’m sure of it. I’ve been smacked with reality.
Today is very real. A harsh, non-fun reality. One with a job I despise and the knowledge that I need to start looking for a new one yesterday. Today there is the knowledge in how much work comes with that. How tired the very thought makes me. Today there is a sick boy who has a doctors appointment in an hour for what I know is an ear infection. Today I need to start exercising again and set down the jelly beans. Today I need to pay bills.
Yes, today is real. Today seems a bit grayer and much more lonely.
When I close my eyes though, I remember last week. I remember the smell of the moisture in the air in California. I remember the smile my dad had when I showed up to take him to lunch. I remember good food and great friends.
Hopefully it will carry me through for a while.
This is my 500th post. 500. It seems like such a big number. I thought long and hard about what to say on this post, especially after not posting for nearly a month. I knew that my first post back, would be my 500th post. I wanted it to be good, not just a this is what I’ve been doing post…which I promise you will get later this week. No, this one needed to be special.
Then it hit me. This could go up today. See today, April 19th is my best friend Liz’s birthday. So this, my 500th post? Is for her.
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Me: How’s the kitty?
Her: I want chips and salsa.
I laugh out loud to myself. Our text messages are often this random. She is the only person I can text like I would talk to if she were sitting in the room next too me, instead of 1230 something miles away. Anyone else would look at our texts and possible think we are nuts. Yet, it makes perfect sense to me.
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I read a post a few weeks ago on BlogHer about online friendships. It was called: Are Online Relationships Real? It wasn’t saying that they weren’t real, but it made me think. I’ve had this conversation many times. Sometimes with people who have no clue about it and think I’m insane. How can you be friends with people who you can’t see all the time, is always their question.
Other times I’ve had this conversation cramped into a hotel room with six or eight other people. With friends who understand and have had to have this conversation themselves with others who don’t get it. They are friends. Great friends actually, who I wouldn’t know if it weren’t for this online world. I know first hand that online friendships are real. I have many of them. People who are with me through thick and thin. Some I’m met in person, some I haven’t. I’ve found that it doesn’t really matter. I know who my real friends are.
True friendship is not dictated by proximity. It’s dictated by love and support and the ability to be there for another person, even when all you can do is say: I’m here. I’m listening and holding your hand from here. It shouldn’t matter where here actually is.
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We met for the first time in September a year and a half ago after six months of non-stop talking.
What if she’s some crazy ax murderer, he asked me the night before. Dude. First? I already met her husband. Iss, there can be women ax murderers you know. Okay fine. Well second? I’ll be in Vegas. There are great CSI’s there.
It was a silly argument. I was nervous, but I had absolutely no fear about my best friend being a closet ax murderer. Even before that trip, I called her my best friend. She already was. My best friend twin soul sister.
There is this scene in the movie Julie and Julia where Julia Child meets for the first time a woman who she’d been pen pals with for years and years. I adore it. When I saw it in the theater it gave me chills. That’s what it was like for me, meeting Liz. Being able to hug someone who you’ve considered your best friend for months and months? I can’t even explain it.
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Our friend Lu calls her the wizard. Because she’s quiet, yet when she does talk, it’s exactly what needed to be said. She has a way with words.
She’s who I text for any and all cooking needs and questions. Even when she laughs, because I really do suck at cooking, she always knows what to do.
She’s the person I need when I’m panicky. The one who can always calm me down, no matter what is going on.
She always helps me see reason through the crazy. She’s always there to remind me that just because I think something in my head, doesn’t mean I need to apologize for it.
Really the girl deserves a medal for being best friends with someone as crazy as me. Or maybe she needs her head examined. Both. Yeah, it’s probably both.
She’s the only person I listen to the first time. (What can I say, I’m a stubborn ass.) Somehow she knows exactly what to say to me, to get me to do the right thing. Or to you know, stop being a stubborn ass.
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I went to her house, after Logan left me. There is no where else I wanted to be. On the side of a road one day, looking at the ocean while I sobbed, she swore to me that this wouldn’t kill me. That I would get past the pain. That one day I would feel like a whole person again and she’s be there to remind me that I did make it.
Even though I knew she was probably right, I didn’t believe it. Yeah. I was wrong on that one. I’m wrong often. I get caught up in my head when bad things happen. Sometimes I need a huge light to see reality. She tends to be that huge light. Maybe one of those lighthouse lights.
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I still remember the day we started talking. How funny that two years later I remember a single day. I’m not sure I can tell you what was on TV last night or what I had for lunch yesterday, but I remember that first DM conversation two years ago. Maybe it’s because it was significant. It was the day I made the greatest friend I’ve ever had.
Every day I know my life is better because she is in it. She makes me strive to be a better person, a better friend and a better mother. She is brave, smart, amazing, kind and beautiful and I absolutely adore her.
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Happy birthday Liz. I’m so thrilled that I get to spend today here with you. Love you to the moon and back.
xoxo, Issa
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – Anais Nin
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I’m going to say it was sometime in early 2009 when I started seeing this funny, sweet, sarcastic, snarky woman around the Internet. In all honesty, it was the snarky side that made me befriend her at first. I love me some good snark and the girl has the gift. Quickly though, I came to realize that this woman and I were meant to be friends.
Her name is Jenna. She’s one of my best friends. Today is her birthday.
When I first met her, she was very careful to keep me at a distance. It’s something I understand since it’s something I’ve done myself for years. Her wall was very high. Lucky for her (and me), I own a trampoline. I just jumped over the dam thing. She hasn’t been able to get rid of me since then.
I don’t know where I’d be without her. She has been one of my three rocks this past two years. She always supports me and she never ever lets me give up. She has the most amazing heart in the world. She’s caring and loving. She cracks me up on a daily basis. Anyone who can put up with me as a best friend, deserves a medal.
Sadly, I’m fresh out of medals, so I figured this would have to do.
We have a lot in common. We are also complete opposites in so many ways. I mean really, the girl doesn’t drink coffee and she likes eggplant. It’s a wonder we are as close as we are. Eggplant. *shudder*
Our friendship defies all odds. It exists because of this space. Because of the wonder of the Internet. I wouldn’t have met any of my best friends without the Internet. Some say it’s weird to have best friends who live in different states. Really though, it’s not like we know any different. You couldn’t see the way we support each other through everything and then say there was something wrong with our relationship.
Then again, I don’t mind people thinking I’m weird. Who wants to be normal? Normal seems very boring.
Every day I feel blessed to have her in my life. I can’t imagine life without her in it actually. I’m really not willing to even go there. She’s stuck with me.
Happy birthday Jenna. I love you more than there are words in the world.
xoxo, Issa
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Happy Birthday Jenna. Thank you for being a part of this whole new world of true friendship. You have always been an amazing support to me and for that I am forever grateful. You were my very first online friend, and you will always have a special place in my heart. You reached out to me when you knew I needed you, and you have never let go. You offer help and support in any possible way that you can. Because of you I have a group of women that I can turn to with anything. Anything. I really don’t know what I would do without you and that’s not just because you know internet stuffs that I don’t get. Heh.
Our world of friendship is beyond amazing and is really difficult to explain, and yet very simple. We are best friends. It’s that simple. We support each other every single day. In every way, with everything. I can completely dump my life’s crap on you in an email and know that you are reading, caring, and will try to talk me off the ledge. Even if you have to bribe me with cupcakes.
I know this all might seem like a bit much to someone who is reading that may not know how close we are, but that’s okay. We get us. It works for us. That’s enough for me.
I am excited for the rebirth of Jenna and will be holding your hand through the next year and beyond. Please to be remembering how wonderful, strong, and amazing you are as a mother, friend, and woman.
Happy Birthday Love.
-Lu
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Dear Jenna,
Happiest of birthdays to you dear. With heaps of sprinkles (and some homemade caramel sauce) on top. This is one of those times that I wish I had a bottomless bank account. Not just because we could all be celebrating with you on Cupcake Fuck You Island. But because I’d be trying my hardest to buy your happiness. 
And I think that might be fun.
But anyways… I don’t. So I can’t. Instead I will tell you this. You? Are amazing. And strong. And generous. And beautiful. And loyal. And a wicked awesome friend. And an expert cook. And a devoted mom. And a sarcastic joker. And pretty much just all around spectacularly wonderful. And I? Am thankful for you. And your advice. And your humor. And your recipes. And your jokes. And most of all, your friendship. I treasure it.
I know you don’t always see the super star in you. But we, your true blue friends spread across the country, see it. Stick with us kid and we’ll remind you how great you are when you need it. We’ll pick you up and carry you when you are too exhausted. And we’ll laugh and cry with you as life unfolds.
Happy birthday dear. Here is to yummy cupcakes, toddler love, insane friends, GOOD chocolate, and new beginnings. Love you.
-Liz
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Happy birthday darling.
I was going to do a best of post. I do have a best of page, see the pretty button up there? It’s not completely up to date. But it’s close. But really? I’m not sure I’d call any of my posts great this year. Then I considered doing resolutions. I’m not actually a fan of them, so that idea got thrown out. What to do, what to do? Then I found a meme. One I actually don’t believe I’d seen before. Which is shocking after nearly six years of blogging.
Meme kindly stolen from Temerity Jane, who got it from Sundry. Hmm, maybe it’s not stealing if you ask. I did ask. I’m all nice and polite like that.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
I made a pie. I baked a cake. I got divorced. That last one, I don’t really recommend.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Years ago, I decided to stop making resolutions. Then I could stop felling bad about myself in February when I stopped or re-started doing whatever it was I swore I was no longer going to do. So far? That has worked out great.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A cousin. Well my ex’s cousins daughter. She, despite her very young age, is a phenomenal mother to a chubby, drooly, rolly polly of a boy. Besides her? Um just Internet friends.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. Which is actually pleasant and surprising considering the past few years that had been filled with death.
5. What countries did you visit?
None. Well unless NYC counts, which I hear it doesn’t.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A great job. I have one and it’s not great. One that will end soon. Which sucks. So I’d like a good job. I’d also like to not have to worry about money so much.
Confidence. In myself. In my ability to create the life I want to have.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 20th when I turned 30.
March 3. My 11th anniversary. It will stay in my head forever, because there won’t be a 12th.
A weekend spent in the mountains in June with just my big girl. As well as the ones in May and September where I took all of my kids. It’s a different world up there. All quiet and peaceful and beautiful.
October 14th. The day my marriage was officially over.
An entire weekend spend in California in April. It was pretty dam fun. This one in October was as well.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I made it. I know that seems silly to say. But I can honestly say, that there were many moments where I wasn’t sure. Yet, I have proved to myself over and over and over again that I am stronger than I think. I’ve bought a car. I’ve maintained my house. I’ve taken care of my kids. Alone. I’ve done it. And that is big.
9. What was your biggest failure?
If I say my divorce will you throw things at me? It’s true. My biggest failure this year was that.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have vague memory of re-breaking my left thumb in March or something. I’m trying to block it out though.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My iPad, Stella. She was my 30th birthday gift to myself. I also bought myself a new (used) car in September. The first one I ever bought by myself, which was scary and exciting. Her name is Harper.
12. Where did most of your money go?
Divorce lawyer. Oh and bills. Lots of bills.
13. What did you get really excited about?
Visiting friends. Seeing NYC. Attending BlogHer. That was really a phenomenal trip. Also? Watching Morgan do her first dance performance. That was amazing.
14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I have two actually. If I knew then, by Lady Antebellum and A little bit stronger by Sara Evans.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? Happier. This week last year? Was horrendous. I’m so thrilled to be beyond it.
– thinner or fatter? Same.
– richer or poorer? Poorer.
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laughed. Spent more time outside in the summer. Cooked more.
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Flipped out over nothing. Worried. Stressed over the little things that I have no control over. I will say though, this year has been a year of complete change for me. I have trouble with that much change. I’ve done the best I could to get through it. As the year progressed it’s gotten easier for me to deal with things.
18. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve, I took my mom and kids to see Zoo Lights. I cooked. We opened gifts. Then? I dropped them off at their dad’s at 8pm and went home to watch movies with my mom. On Christmas, my mom and I went and hung out at my ex’s aunts house and had Christmas lunch there. It was not perfect, I’ll make some changes to it next year. But it was okay.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
New to me this year? Castle. I adore Castle. But I also still consider The Big Bang Theory and The Amazing Race in my list of favorites too.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Um the Percy Jackson series? Literally, I believe I read two adult books this past year. One was, It’s not You, It’s Me, by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, which I loved. The other was Every Last One by Anna Quindlen, which was harsh but I liked. Mostly though, I’ve read kid books.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Sugarland’s new CD. Michael Buble. David Nail.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Harry Potter. I know I’ve seen others. Am blanking on them. Valentine’s Day cracked me up. So did Sex and the City 2.
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30. I spent an amazing day with my best friend. I had Princess Cake for breakfast. I saw Ikea for the first time. I remember crying a ton, but meh, that’s just how it ended. It was still a great day.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
This is a hard one for me. Can I say, living on the same street as my three best friends and call it good?
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
I really love flip-flops.
26. What kept you sane?
My kids. My best friends. This blog community.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Life is constantly changing. No matter what you think about it. The only thing one can do is move through it and hope it improves.
My wish for all of us, is an amazing 2011. xoxo, Issa
My first gift. Ollie the Owl:
Getting a gift, makes me smile.
Sending gifts? Makes my heart happy.
Good gifts, I’m great at finding.
The element of surprise? Not really.
You win some, you loose some.
Made one best friend cry yesterday.
Worth it. Tears not always bad.
Best friends ever: Liz, Jenna, Lu.
Grateful for them this past year.
Three best kids: Morgan, Bailey, Harrison.
My three greatest gifts in life.
Each day with them, a gift.
Mom sent Candy Cane Joe-Joes.
She’s my favorite. Cookies always win.
Gift bags. I’m smart. Not crafty.
Cookies last year. Pies this year.
Caramel Pecan Pies, makes people happy.
Jill, Kirsten, Marinka, Stacey, Jodi, Ben.
Caitlin, Becky, Renee, Cindy, Greis, Allyson.
Cherry, Kim, Matthew, Megan, Dorothy, Tania.
You, you, you and you too.
Gifts from the Internet gods. Priceless.
Today is brought to you by The Christmas Spirit and Six Word Fridays.
Sometimes I get down, when I realize I have no one here. It can be very lonely. All of my friends live elsewhere. My three best friends, each live in different states, scattered over the US. There are days where I’d give just about anything to be able to go have coffee with them at their houses. To sit and talk. To go to dinner. Something. Anything. There are days when it makes me feel bad to know that without the Internet, I’d have no friends and social life.
Other times I realize how absolutely lucky I really am. I have the greatest friends in the world. People all over the US who I am lucky enough to call true friends. People I can chat with, text with and email with. People I could call if I needed someone to talk too. People who would open up their home to me for a few days, if I was in their area. People who take me, as me; just as I am. You can’t beat that type of friendship. I count myself blessed every day that I have it.
I spent a long weekend in California. A long amazing weekend. It wasn’t amazing because I did extraordinary things. I was just there. I spent time with friends. I played Angry Birds Halloween. I watched my friends son, when she ended up having to take her daughter to urgent care. I got sick on my last night there. Life you know? Just normal life.
It’s the small things though, the small moments that help me stay positive when I am home. The small moments that I can pull out and look at in my head later, on days when I need them. These are the things that remind me that I’m not alone.
Things like spending a few hours sitting on a couch, talking and laughing about the idiocy of sports figures. *cough* Brett Farve *cough* Making fun of a certain pitcher who has now famous facial hair. Joking about his weirdness. Reminding ourselves and each other that just because they do one thing so well that we all know who they are, doesn’t really make them anything other than human beings, who just happen to be famous.
Things like spending a day running errands with my best friend. Do I care that we went grocery shopping? Nope. We did other things too. But I don’t care that we did the normal things that all of us have to do every week. Doesn’t matter. I spent a day with my best friend. That’s all that matters.
An afternoon spent with this amazing woman, who drove a total of 18 hours this weekend, with her three children, to spend a few hours with friends. Priceless she said in her post and I have to say, I fully agree. At the end of the afternoon, we both stood there, continuing to talk, not wanting to leave the mall, even though the reality was, we were both going home to change, to then have dinner together. But she knows, as well as I do, how precious these minutes can be.
Dinner at a cozy restaurant with four friends. A conversation that covered a little bit of everything. Simple, easy, fun. Trying to hug people enough times until we meet again.
A day spent talking with friends, about sleep training, how fast the newborn phase goes and laughing about the most coveted baby toy on the market sounding exactly like a dog toy. Nom’ing on tiny baby cheeks.
Playing swords with two crazy little kids one night. Watching him play soccer a few times. Laughing as she does crazy things, such as eating an entire spoonful of butter at brunch, instead of her muffin. Knowing that I adore these kids as much as I could possibly adore kids that aren’t mine.
Was I sad to go home yesterday, yes. I always am. However, I’ve gotten better about it. I know now, there will be a next time. I’ve proved that to myself. These are my people, there will always be a next time.
I drink these moments up. Soak them into me, as deep as they’ll go. All the way to the bones in my toes. I hold onto them, knowing that it will be awhile before the next time. It’s not the same, as if I lived close to all these people, but it’s still great. I’ll take it when I can get it and know, that they are all here for me, even when it’s just over this crazy Internet world.
See my pretty new duds? I’m in love. What do you think?
Big huge thank you to my very lovely and talented best friend Jenna for the re-design. Because my own site (or more likely WordPress on my iPad) is now try to eat me I can’t seem to link to Jenna. But you can find her at http://allaboutavacakes.com. She is awesome and I love her.
Also please check out my widget on the bottom left hand corner. It’s where you will find other peoples posts that I’m in love with this week.
This online world is strange. You meet people, you become friends with some of them and then the day comes where you realize that these are your people. That the names on a screen, the words on blog posts, the 140 character tweets have become real people to you.
The people who live in California, Oregon, Florida, Wisconsin, Washington State, Texas, Washington DC, New York, New Jersey…I could continue. These are your people. The women you count on. The women who listen, who make you feel heard. They support you. No matter what you tell them. They still support you, because somewhere in them, they understand; the emotion, if not the words. They make you laugh. They let you cry. Sometimes they make you cry. They accept you as you. Your people.
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We sit at lunch at a small sidewalk table. The city that never sleeps carries on around us. One on one, during a weekend filled with people. Honest. Real. Raw. It’s the moment that sticks in my head most from that weekend.
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I watch my cell phone. I wait for a text. This happens to me sometimes. When someone is hurting, I wait for texts like farmers wait for rain. It’s a need. Nothing is okay in that moment, until my phone chirps.
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I realize I’m cupping my hand. Have been doing it for over twenty minutes. It’s my attempt to hold her hand. 1300 miles away. I hope she feels it in some small way. Me here, holding onto her.
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Curled up in bed, two people in the bed next to me. We talk and laugh for over an hour after we all should have been asleep. Maybe two hours. Even though we feel like we are still on west coast time, our bodies aren’t used to this hour. The conversation is always worth the lack of sleep.
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I call her for the first time. Her voice sounds just how I thought it would. Because I know her. I’ve known her for months. We pick up our conversation like we’d been talking forever.
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I waited for her to get off the plane. We’d texted each other the night before, okay, I’m scared. It was almost funny, because how can you be nervous to meet someone who you talk to every single day? The second she got off the plane, I knew, this is all okay.
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Not a day has gone by. Not a day. In a year at least. Without at least one text or email or DM.
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I look at my desk calendar and smile. They both have one too. I purchased them at Christmas. Silly little desk calendar. I’ve never loved one more in my entire life.
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There was a day that I thought I’d just lay down and cease to exist. One of the harder days of this year. Doorbell. Flowers. For me. Just because. I still have the card. To brighten my day it said.
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I cry into the phone. Late at night. I cry into the phone to her. She lets me. Always. No matter what. She sits there and lets me cry in her ear until I’m done. Then? She changes the subject. Asks a question. Tells me about something silly her kids did. Tells me about her dessert. Something. Anything. Because she knows me. She knows I need that, almost as much as I needed to cry.
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An Italian restaurant. I was on vacation with my kids, but I made a point to take time to go meet her. Two hours of non stop talking. I felt like I’d known her forever. Even though it can go weeks between a tweet, I still consider her one of my people. It’s easy to pick up right where we left off, no matter how long it goes.
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One of us starts an email each morning. Generally just during the week. Four names. It pings back and forth all day. California. Colorado. Florida. Oregon.
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You realize that as hard as it can be to have none of them live near you, it’s still worth it every day, to have them in your life. No one said your people had to live on the same street as you. There doesn’t need to be a definition for it. It just is.
These are my people. This is why I do this. Because of my people.
Grab My Button!
I’m a joiner
