but I still want to attempt to write. Leaving what I wrote on Monday up at the top will stop me from writing if I leave it there too long. Words have power, even posts with few words.
I won’t lie…yesterday was one majorly harsh day. I won’t even try to tell you all the crazy stuff I thought. Let’s just say, yesterday I blamed myself. Yesterday, I walllowed all day. I cried for most of the day. I moped. I ate only cookies. I grieved for what never was.
Yesterday she told me that tomorrow would be better. That the day after that will be a bit better and the day after that. I believe her even when I don’t feel it, because after nearly three years as friends, I know she’s almost always right.
Today? Well I’m still sad, but I’m okay. I’m going to make today a better day. Today I will look at the mini roses my step-dad sent me yesterday and know that spring will come. I will think about the place I’ll plant them in my garden. I’ll remind myself that April will be here before I know it and I can try again. Today I will re-read all of your sweet comments and hold onto your belief that I will get there. You guys believing in me at a time where I’m struggling to believe helps me more than I can say.
Today I am okay.
When you are three and a few months…
You can tell a roomful of family at a birthday dinner that you are allowed to touch your penis in your room only. Not at the table. In your mind, they all needed to know this. They will all laugh.
You will ask for apple sauce, have a tantrum about not wanting apple sauce and then eat the apple sauce all while your mother looks at you still trying to decide what to say.
You think that the red car with the smiling teeth grill is a real car from Cars. You will then proceed to tell everyone you see that you saw the real life Lightening McQueen.
You will teach your baby cousin to “say his name” even though you’ve somehow forgotten that Baby G’s real name isn’t Baby G.
You will Tebow everywhere because your daddy taught you how. Everyone will think it’s funny. Even when done at the grocery store and someone nearly runs you over. You get a pass for being three and cute.
When you are seven and a half…
You will read The Tale of Despereaux and then watch the movie and want to discuss the differences at great length. Your mother will find this amazing and tell all of your grandparents.
You will get grouchy at your mother for not managing to stay awake for this boring beyond boring of all movies on any viewing. But hey, she’ll still gladly discuss the slightly less boring book at great length with you.
You will come home each day with stories of who lost teeth today. You will yet again ask if you are the only person in the world who will forever have baby teeth. The answer of course is yes and then you’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for only adult with all baby teeth.
You make the Harry Potter Knight Bus out of Legos and then take it apart to do it again, at least twice a week.
You claim that every food in the world is inedible. There is rumor that you live off air and jokes. The only food you want at any given meal is either one we are just now out of or possibly one that doesn’t yet exist.
You tell better original jokes than most high paid comedians.
When you are ten…
You yell at your siblings if they even look at your perfectly built Hogwarts Lego creation. You’d never consider taking it apart. It was a one time deal that you plan on enjoying looking at forever.
You take up texting. Or more technically iMessage. You will text both of your parents non-stop. (Or what feels like non-stop to them.) Even when sitting on the couch next to them. It’s cute. In a, sort of getting old, way.
You figure out how to add a signature to your texts, which neither of your parents know how to do. You change it on a day to day basis, depending on your mood. For example, yesterdays signature was: I’d like a kitten. Texts tend to look like this: Hi! I’d like a kitten. What are you doin? I’d like a kitten. Mommy can you change the chanel? I’d like a kitten. Can I watch Idol? I’d like a kitten.
You decide to learn to bake. Muffins are your current favorite.
You will sob when your favorite skier passes away from a head injury. This was the first time a hero of yours has died and it has made you incredibly sad. It’s a first that I wish I could have protected you from. Thankfully it has not made you fear skiing.
You will one day announce that it’s high time Harrison learns to read. The fact that he just turned three and still screams each time someone makes him blow his nose makes no difference. You are going to be the one to teach him. What follows is a lot of entertaining attempts at getting him to look at the letter and word cards that you have made up. He in turn makes them into weird ramps for his cars. This will be a process.
When you are thirty one…
You will want to hug every single person on the entire Internet for their kind words this past week.
You will laugh hysterically at an ill placed hanging fairy during a procedure.
You will tell the nurse when she asks you to tell her if it’s uncomfortable, how about I tell you if it hurts…because we are way past uncomfortable now. I mean see where you are and the entire army of medical instruments up my…yeah. Stopping now. Uncomfortable. She did laugh though.
You will decide to quit coffee cold turkey. Not because you don’t love coffee, because oh you adore coffee, but because in the moment you know it’s the right thing to do. Even after the headache starts you won’t give in…because some things are more important than a cup of coffee.
You buy Girl Scout cookies from the cute six year old girl at the door on general principal. You don’t even like GS cookies, but a few boxes now reside in your cupboard.
You will finally delete the six posts sitting in draft form. If they weren’t worthy then, they surely aren’t now.
You will thank everyone who still comes and reads here 600 posts later.
That was a line my daughter Bailey used to use as a toddler when she’d get sad at daycare. We’d ask her why she was sad at lunch, or nap time or whatever time period they’d written on her daily form. She always replied, your hugs wore off mama.
At the time it made my workaholic heart ache. The following year we moved here and before I knew it, she’d grown out of that phase. Occasionally she will call me from her dad’s house and say, I just need you mommy. It’s a different version of the same thing. She’s a mama’s girl and I get it, as I’m one myself. Sometimes a phone call works, sometimes a quick trip over there does the trick. Sometimes you just need a hug.
BlogHer was a month ago. It seems like yesterday, but it also seems like a lifetime ago. I was lucky. It was an entire week for me, with BH and then my BFF trip. A week of late night conversations. A week filled to the brim with laughter. A week of coffee dates and dinners out. A week filled with a shit load of hugs.
Driving to get myself coffee a bit ago to improve my day, I looked outside at the rainy 55 degree day (I know, wtf?) and realized that I could really use a friend hug right about now. I just don’t really have anyone here for that.
I think my hugs wore off.
All those amazing friend hugs, gone in one month. Dam I use those suckers up fast. When’s BlogHer12 again?
Yet, I don’t know that it matters. I’m talking about personal blogging. I have spent the last two years telling people that personal blogging isn’t dead. In the moment, I’m not even sure I believe it myself. Maybe it’s just my version of personal blogging that’s dead.
I’ve found in the last few months that I rarely have much to say. Or at least not much which I feel like I can talk about on here. At least not yet. I’m not saying I’m done with blogging, but I feel like I need to make it where I do it only when I want too.
My life has changed a lot in this past six months. However, as I’ve gotten more sure of myself and started feeling more emotionally secure, I don’t find that I have as much to say here. I don’t really need to use this space as therapy most of the time. On top of that, my daughters are too old for me to be sharing most of their lives online. My son isn’t there yet, but I know not many people care to hear about him all the time. At the present time, I don’t know what else I’ll write about.
I have been struggling with this site for a while. Do I leave it? Do I try and do something different with it? I’m not sure what the answer is. Memes are not the answer, this I know. I also know I need to stop feeling guilty if I don’t post. I know I need to get to where I only post when I want too.
I hear people say that Twitter killed personal blogging. Maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s not. I’ll tell you though, I’ve never felt more supported in my life than I have since meeting all the amazing people I met on Twitter.
Today I’m going to take down my BlogHer Ads. They’ve been here for awhile and while I adore BlogHer, I don’t need the pressure of ads on my site. It makes me check my stats after every post, which really is pressure I don’t need. Yes, it’s pressure only I am putting on myself, but it’s there. This is not about them, it’s about me.
I’m not done with blogging. This is not a goodbye. It’s just a post about my reality in this moment. I’ll still post when I want and I hope you guys will still read it when that happens. It just may be longer in-between posts.
I adore personal blogging and I hope it’s not dead. Maybe it’s just a bit dormant at the moment? I suppose only time will tell.
I figure if Nic, Miss and Adam do it, I can too. This may actually be a hard one, seeing how I’ve been online for six years. What can I possibly not have told you? We’ll see how well I do.
1. I drink everything with tons of ice. If it’s lukewarm, chances are good I will not drink it.
2. When I was ten I had my first paid baby-sitting job. It was for my piano teachers kids.She adored me and thought I was responsible enough to handle her two kids. Once a week she paid me to watch them for three hours. She always told me, if you need anything go to the house two doors down. It took me six months to need to do that…when I finally did, for some odd reason, I found them having dinner with their friends. Yep. They went there once a week. Two doors down.
3. I am a channel flipper. I watch three shows at one time. It makes most people insane. However, my girls do it too. They so get me.
4. I have to be pretty much dead to nap. No really. I mean it. 103 fever and I can sometimes nap. But that’s pretty much it.
5. I organize my mother’s trips for her. Business and pleasure. She tells everyone it’s because I am Internet gifted and she isn’t. But mostly? It’s because I feel like if I do it, she will somehow be safe and magically end up home just fine on her scheduled flight. It’s lame, I know…but I’ve been doing it since I was 16 years old.
6. I am not afraid of flying, yet I’m terrified of heights.
7. When I get angry, I cry. Every dang time.
8. I am allergic to paper. And Ink. My hands rash and swell when I touch paper for too long.
9. I used to surf. My dad taught me how when I was seven years old.
10. I can water ski and jet ski. I love water sports.
11. I will never be able to deep sea dive. I have the ears of a four year old. Or specifically one very bad ear.
12. I despise winter sports. Which is funny since I now live in a state with 6 months of winter.
13. I hate talking on the phone to 99.9 percent of people. I’m pretty sure texting is the greatest invention ever. I average 4,000 texts a month.
14. I have an addictive personality. It’s why I am very careful to not drink. If I will listen to a song for a week on repeat, order the same thing every time I go to a certain restaurant or eat the same thing for lunch for years, imagine how quickly I could become an alcoholic.
15. I am a neurotic kitchen cleaner. I clean as I go and my dishes never sit there for long. However it’s the only thing that is clean in my house most of the time.
16. I have an inability to own an umbrella. I think it’s likely because I rarely mind getting wet.
17. I will hand pick mushrooms and green peas out of food before eating it, however any other thing I will leave even if I’m not overly fond of it. I can eat around most anything except those two nasty vegetables.
18. I listen to music from the second I wake up until I go to bed. It’s on most of the day, unless the TV happens to be on.
19. I have a turtle tattoo on my left calf. I don’t regret getting it, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get another one.
20. I once broke my butt by falling on the beach. Literally.
21. I sleep with ear plugs. Even when I have newborns. I have phenomenal hearing. I hear my kids through the ear plugs. Without wearing them, I can’t sleep because I hear every noise in a mile radius.
22. I never wear make-up. I never have either.
23. I name everything. My iPhone, iPad, car, desktop and Kindle all have names.
24. I have never grown out of my love for kid food. I love PB&J, hot dogs, Cheetos and Popsicles. However I will also eat most anything.
25. I always have trouble thinking of the last item on a list. It’s like a disease. Yet at the same time, my light organizational OCD won’t let me send an incomplete list.
My home life is small. I lead a small life. Friends are few and far between. I have more acquaintances here than friends. Don’t get me wrong, I do fun things. I shop, I go out to eat, I see movies. My kids and I play mini-golf and we check out parks. We have been to amusement parks and seen numerous movies this summer. A few times a year, we do mini vacations. Yet, more often than not, you’ll find me at home. I don’t mind it. I’m a homebody.
My social life is mostly led online. I work full time and mother full time; I have three children, a house and a dog. This, for me, makes social media the easiest way to connect with people. It’s because of social media that I have any friends at all. I tell you that because it’s true. I’m also lucky enough to tell you that I have tons of amazing friends. Friends I can count on, friends who always support me. I’ve long since stopped caring that most of them live elsewhere.
People ask me all the time if going to BlogHer is worth it and I always tell them HELL YES! You want to know why? Because I got see my friends. For the past three years I’ve gone to BlogHer to be with the people I love and adore. At times I fit more living into those four days than I do in a regular six month time period. I come back horse each year from talking so much. I come home full of love, from all the amazing hugs and conservations. It holds me over until the next time I can go, or the next time I can go see my best friends.
My trip this year was both a BH trip and a BFF trip. Two for the price of one. Heh.
People ask me why they should spend the money and time to go to BlogHer and I can’t always explain it. It’s hard to put it into words. The best I can try and do is tell you some of the highlights of my weekend. Then…well you can decide for yourself.
I do this for dinners spent with nine people. For round tables at seafood places, and long rectangular ones at Mexican places. For tables where everyone talks at once together and others where a small intimate conversation manages to take place in the midst of a crazy loud one.
I do this to make connections. To introduce people I feel like I’ve known forever, to other people who I’ve known for years. To find someone a bed last second and to meet someone new at an airport at 6am on day one.
I do this to laugh at how four people can sit on a couch on their phones and still chat non-stop, without anyone thinking they are being ignored. I do this to be amazed at how a room full of people at a Blogging conference can spend three hours without anyone checking their phone.
I do this to check out a new city. Or at times to get to explore a part of a city that I’d been to before.
I do this for lunches the first day, where you start off with a group of 5 and end up getting a table for 9. For texts from people saying: I AM HERE! Midnight chats in bed. 8am chats in bed. Ha. Breakfasts of bagels and Starbucks for three days in a row.
I do this to finally meet someone at a party the last night and hug them eight times in a row. This amazing person who you’ve been friends with for six years and never managed to meet. Because each time something like this happens, I spend the next day wishing I’d had two more days to spend with this person.
Literally running into someone in the hallway and then spending the next two hours chatting with them and others who turned up.
I do this for: Sparklecorn. Cake balls. Serenity Suite. The Hallmark store that let me send a card to someone. Meeting people in the lobby.
I do this because we sit and chat about the people who are missing. The ones who were going to come and couldn’t last minute. The ones of you who wanted to be there. Even those of you who never want to come. We talk about you too. We share your blogs with each other. We gossip in the good way, the best way. The way that makes it seem like you are all there in a way.
I do this to watch the community keynote each year. To see 12-15 brave people stand up and read their posts. To laugh with them, to cry with them and sometimes laugh until I cry. This year, I had the pleasure of watching a very dear friend of mine read her post. Not the post I’d put in for her to read, but an even better one. It’s powerful and I hope you’ll take a few minutes to listen to it. (Please ignore the poor quality. I took it on my phone. You can hear it perfectly though.)
Each year I go in thinking that maybe next year I’ll pick a smaller conference. I say, this is my last one. By the end, I’m plotting how to get to next years. And this? This is all why.
This is why I do this.
I’ve wanted to be in a book club for a long time. I was in one once, a great one online with many people. After a few books though, it got to be too much work and people stopped reading the book. I think that tends to happen over time, especially during the school year.
This being summer however, I’ve really been wanting to join a book club. The problem is, I don’t know many local people. The people I do know are not interested in starting a book club. It kinda bums me out. I have books sitting on my Kindle that I want to read. I want to read new books. I want to talk about books. I love to read. But I sorta feel like I need a push to start reading again. Or well, start reading something besides blogs and Twitter.
Anyway, so I’m wondering if anyone might want to maybe join my book club? I was thinking we could maybe vote on books. Try for one a month or something? I don’t exactly know how we could do it. Maybe a post to talk about it? Maybe we could take over my comments section one night? Maybe there is a way to set up a chat room to discuss it one night a month. There is a way, I’m sure, I just haven’t thought of it yet.
I guess what I’ll ask is this. If you are interested, tell me what book you’d like to maybe read and I’ll set up an email list to everyone. I’ll call it: Issa’s summer book club. (I am all ingenious with names, aren’t I?)
One book idea that I had was Sisterhood Everlasting, by Ann Brashares. It’s something that looked good to me. Although, I promise I’m open to any and all suggestions.
So…..thoughts? Anyone interested in joining? Book ideas?
**Updated with book ideas:
Me: Sisterhood Everlasting Or maybe BossyPants by Tina Fey.
Greis: The Help
Renee: Cutting for Stone
Lex: Hunger Series
Kathy: The Glass House
DawnK: Maine
Marinka: The Weird Sisters
Kirsten: The 19th Wife
Kristen: The Paris wife
Do you ever wonder what happens to people? The ones who fall off the Internet? The people you consider friends, who are there one day and not the next?
I had this friend a few years ago. Kim. Ponytails Kim. She and I were close for say six-seven months. The last four months of my pregnancy to Harrison and a few months after. She may not know it, but she helped me get through that pregnancy. Her humor helped me get through what was a very rough pregnancy. She cracked me up on a daily basis.
She has three girls, each a bit older than each of my kids and we’d trade funny kid stories. We’d chat on Gmail thought out the week. Every day, I looked forward to talking to her. She was, at the time, my life vest.
Then one day, when Harrison was maybe two month old she was just gone. I tried emailing her. Nothing. I waited a bit and tried again. Nothing. For a long time I worried that something I’d said had run her off. Then I started wondering what could have happened to her. Still, all this time has passed and I’ve never seen her around again.
I still hope that she shows up one day.
She’s not the first and I know she won’t be the last. Blogging is a hobby for most of us and after a time, people tend to get bored with it. They close up shop. Sometimes saying goodbye, sometimes going away into the night, never to be seen from again. I’ve been doing this a long time. 2005 was when I started blogging. I’ve seen more people come and go than I can even begin to tell you. But the ones who just disappear? I always wonder about them.
I was going to do a best of post. I do have a best of page, see the pretty button up there? It’s not completely up to date. But it’s close. But really? I’m not sure I’d call any of my posts great this year. Then I considered doing resolutions. I’m not actually a fan of them, so that idea got thrown out. What to do, what to do? Then I found a meme. One I actually don’t believe I’d seen before. Which is shocking after nearly six years of blogging.
Meme kindly stolen from Temerity Jane, who got it from Sundry. Hmm, maybe it’s not stealing if you ask. I did ask. I’m all nice and polite like that.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
I made a pie. I baked a cake. I got divorced. That last one, I don’t really recommend.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Years ago, I decided to stop making resolutions. Then I could stop felling bad about myself in February when I stopped or re-started doing whatever it was I swore I was no longer going to do. So far? That has worked out great.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A cousin. Well my ex’s cousins daughter. She, despite her very young age, is a phenomenal mother to a chubby, drooly, rolly polly of a boy. Besides her? Um just Internet friends.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. Which is actually pleasant and surprising considering the past few years that had been filled with death.
5. What countries did you visit?
None. Well unless NYC counts, which I hear it doesn’t.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A great job. I have one and it’s not great. One that will end soon. Which sucks. So I’d like a good job. I’d also like to not have to worry about money so much.
Confidence. In myself. In my ability to create the life I want to have.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 20th when I turned 30.
March 3. My 11th anniversary. It will stay in my head forever, because there won’t be a 12th.
A weekend spent in the mountains in June with just my big girl. As well as the ones in May and September where I took all of my kids. It’s a different world up there. All quiet and peaceful and beautiful.
October 14th. The day my marriage was officially over.
An entire weekend spend in California in April. It was pretty dam fun. This one in October was as well.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I made it. I know that seems silly to say. But I can honestly say, that there were many moments where I wasn’t sure. Yet, I have proved to myself over and over and over again that I am stronger than I think. I’ve bought a car. I’ve maintained my house. I’ve taken care of my kids. Alone. I’ve done it. And that is big.
9. What was your biggest failure?
If I say my divorce will you throw things at me? It’s true. My biggest failure this year was that.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have vague memory of re-breaking my left thumb in March or something. I’m trying to block it out though.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My iPad, Stella. She was my 30th birthday gift to myself. I also bought myself a new (used) car in September. The first one I ever bought by myself, which was scary and exciting. Her name is Harper.
12. Where did most of your money go?
Divorce lawyer. Oh and bills. Lots of bills.
13. What did you get really excited about?
Visiting friends. Seeing NYC. Attending BlogHer. That was really a phenomenal trip. Also? Watching Morgan do her first dance performance. That was amazing.
14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I have two actually. If I knew then, by Lady Antebellum and A little bit stronger by Sara Evans.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? Happier. This week last year? Was horrendous. I’m so thrilled to be beyond it.
– thinner or fatter? Same.
– richer or poorer? Poorer.
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laughed. Spent more time outside in the summer. Cooked more.
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Flipped out over nothing. Worried. Stressed over the little things that I have no control over. I will say though, this year has been a year of complete change for me. I have trouble with that much change. I’ve done the best I could to get through it. As the year progressed it’s gotten easier for me to deal with things.
18. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve, I took my mom and kids to see Zoo Lights. I cooked. We opened gifts. Then? I dropped them off at their dad’s at 8pm and went home to watch movies with my mom. On Christmas, my mom and I went and hung out at my ex’s aunts house and had Christmas lunch there. It was not perfect, I’ll make some changes to it next year. But it was okay.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
New to me this year? Castle. I adore Castle. But I also still consider The Big Bang Theory and The Amazing Race in my list of favorites too.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Um the Percy Jackson series? Literally, I believe I read two adult books this past year. One was, It’s not You, It’s Me, by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, which I loved. The other was Every Last One by Anna Quindlen, which was harsh but I liked. Mostly though, I’ve read kid books.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Sugarland’s new CD. Michael Buble. David Nail.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Harry Potter. I know I’ve seen others. Am blanking on them. Valentine’s Day cracked me up. So did Sex and the City 2.
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30. I spent an amazing day with my best friend. I had Princess Cake for breakfast. I saw Ikea for the first time. I remember crying a ton, but meh, that’s just how it ended. It was still a great day.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
This is a hard one for me. Can I say, living on the same street as my three best friends and call it good?
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
I really love flip-flops.
26. What kept you sane?
My kids. My best friends. This blog community.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Life is constantly changing. No matter what you think about it. The only thing one can do is move through it and hope it improves.
My wish for all of us, is an amazing 2011. xoxo, Issa
Sometimes I get down, when I realize I have no one here. It can be very lonely. All of my friends live elsewhere. My three best friends, each live in different states, scattered over the US. There are days where I’d give just about anything to be able to go have coffee with them at their houses. To sit and talk. To go to dinner. Something. Anything. There are days when it makes me feel bad to know that without the Internet, I’d have no friends and social life.
Other times I realize how absolutely lucky I really am. I have the greatest friends in the world. People all over the US who I am lucky enough to call true friends. People I can chat with, text with and email with. People I could call if I needed someone to talk too. People who would open up their home to me for a few days, if I was in their area. People who take me, as me; just as I am. You can’t beat that type of friendship. I count myself blessed every day that I have it.
I spent a long weekend in California. A long amazing weekend. It wasn’t amazing because I did extraordinary things. I was just there. I spent time with friends. I played Angry Birds Halloween. I watched my friends son, when she ended up having to take her daughter to urgent care. I got sick on my last night there. Life you know? Just normal life.
It’s the small things though, the small moments that help me stay positive when I am home. The small moments that I can pull out and look at in my head later, on days when I need them. These are the things that remind me that I’m not alone.
Things like spending a few hours sitting on a couch, talking and laughing about the idiocy of sports figures. *cough* Brett Farve *cough* Making fun of a certain pitcher who has now famous facial hair. Joking about his weirdness. Reminding ourselves and each other that just because they do one thing so well that we all know who they are, doesn’t really make them anything other than human beings, who just happen to be famous.
Things like spending a day running errands with my best friend. Do I care that we went grocery shopping? Nope. We did other things too. But I don’t care that we did the normal things that all of us have to do every week. Doesn’t matter. I spent a day with my best friend. That’s all that matters.
An afternoon spent with this amazing woman, who drove a total of 18 hours this weekend, with her three children, to spend a few hours with friends. Priceless she said in her post and I have to say, I fully agree. At the end of the afternoon, we both stood there, continuing to talk, not wanting to leave the mall, even though the reality was, we were both going home to change, to then have dinner together. But she knows, as well as I do, how precious these minutes can be.
Dinner at a cozy restaurant with four friends. A conversation that covered a little bit of everything. Simple, easy, fun. Trying to hug people enough times until we meet again.
A day spent talking with friends, about sleep training, how fast the newborn phase goes and laughing about the most coveted baby toy on the market sounding exactly like a dog toy. Nom’ing on tiny baby cheeks.
Playing swords with two crazy little kids one night. Watching him play soccer a few times. Laughing as she does crazy things, such as eating an entire spoonful of butter at brunch, instead of her muffin. Knowing that I adore these kids as much as I could possibly adore kids that aren’t mine.
Was I sad to go home yesterday, yes. I always am. However, I’ve gotten better about it. I know now, there will be a next time. I’ve proved that to myself. These are my people, there will always be a next time.
I drink these moments up. Soak them into me, as deep as they’ll go. All the way to the bones in my toes. I hold onto them, knowing that it will be awhile before the next time. It’s not the same, as if I lived close to all these people, but it’s still great. I’ll take it when I can get it and know, that they are all here for me, even when it’s just over this crazy Internet world.
Grab My Button!
I’m a joiner
