Please note that I stole this idea from Jodifur. Hey, at least I ask before I steal post ideas.
It’s come to my attention that the remainder of this year is going to be COMPLETELY INSANE, so I believe it’s time to post and call an end to my posting for 2011. I promise I’ll be back in January. Hopefully with some changes around here. Anyway, before I show you my favorite posts of this year, I thought I’d wish you all a wonderful holiday. Whether that is Chanukah, Christmas, Winter Solstice, Kwansa or just New Years, I hope you enjoy it. Whatever you celebrate, I wish you health and happiness for the remainder of this year.
In January, I made a goal to remember the good in this year. To count my blessings and try not to be such a pessimist. It’s a goal, I’m happy to say that I’ve managed to accomplish over time.
In February, I found out that I have PCOS. It’s changed my life in many ways and I’ll be honest, it’s not all bad. It’s nice to know that certain medical things in my past had reasons. It’s made me less hard on myself. I also love this post about enjoying the small things in my kids lives. Days go so fast and some days, I do wish for a second Sunday.
While writing this post on my step-mom was hard in March, it also led me back to therapy to deal with a few things that I thought I’d let go of. It’s nice to say now, that I have let go of a few issues. It’s helped make this a better year for me. I’ll never forget things that happened when I was a kid, however I don’t have to let it color my world any longer.
April brought my 500th post, which I chose to write for my best friend Liz. I love her even more now than I did then, so I’m glad I gave her that milestone post. April also came with big decisions about the brother I’ll probably never know. I am confident in my decision. Finally, there was the list I made to insure the kids and I had a great summer. I am thrilled to say, I managed to accomplish my goals.
In May, I head great news about Morgan’s future in fifth grade. I have to say, she’s had a phenomenal school year. Her teacher is amazing. We owe her so much. Luckily, because my kids go to a charter school, Morgan will have her next year as well! I also told you all about my lunch date with my dad.
Parenting isn’t always easy, as I realized yet again in June. Making the hard choices is something I am willing to do though. A part of June, I’d rather forget but never will is when the evil clown ate my blog. I’m still thankful to Jenna for fixing it. Also in a funnier post, I shared some text messages I get. Even now, they crack me up.
In July, I got off my anti-depressants after four years. There have been times when I wondered if I could stay off of them. But we’re halfway through December and I can honestly say, I’m doing great right now. On the 18th, my Bailey turned seven. She is one of my very favorite people in this world.
On a random day in August, I wrote about my step-dad for no real reason. Just because I love him. I also went to BH11 and my BFF trip. It was one of the greatest weeks in my year.
September was a harder month for me. I’d rather not re-visit it, except for this one tiny thing. My baby boy turned three. He’s so very three and I adore him for it. Most of the time.
In October I celebrated making it through the first year of divorce. A strange thing to celebrate, yes maybe. However, in my quest to change how I think, I had to look at the bad, to remember the good.
In November, I did quite a few things that scare me. It was a hard month emotionally, but luckily I came out okay on the other side.
December has been very busy. I’m loving ever second of it. For the first time in a long time, I’m truly happy. My baby girl turned ten and had an amazing party. I’m looking forward to everything that we have planned for the next two weeks.
My wish for all of you is a wonderful next few weeks. I’ll see you in 2012.
Love, Issa
That was a line my daughter Bailey used to use as a toddler when she’d get sad at daycare. We’d ask her why she was sad at lunch, or nap time or whatever time period they’d written on her daily form. She always replied, your hugs wore off mama.
At the time it made my workaholic heart ache. The following year we moved here and before I knew it, she’d grown out of that phase. Occasionally she will call me from her dad’s house and say, I just need you mommy. It’s a different version of the same thing. She’s a mama’s girl and I get it, as I’m one myself. Sometimes a phone call works, sometimes a quick trip over there does the trick. Sometimes you just need a hug.
BlogHer was a month ago. It seems like yesterday, but it also seems like a lifetime ago. I was lucky. It was an entire week for me, with BH and then my BFF trip. A week of late night conversations. A week filled to the brim with laughter. A week of coffee dates and dinners out. A week filled with a shit load of hugs.
Driving to get myself coffee a bit ago to improve my day, I looked outside at the rainy 55 degree day (I know, wtf?) and realized that I could really use a friend hug right about now. I just don’t really have anyone here for that.
I think my hugs wore off.
All those amazing friend hugs, gone in one month. Dam I use those suckers up fast. When’s BlogHer12 again?
Yet, I don’t know that it matters. I’m talking about personal blogging. I have spent the last two years telling people that personal blogging isn’t dead. In the moment, I’m not even sure I believe it myself. Maybe it’s just my version of personal blogging that’s dead.
I’ve found in the last few months that I rarely have much to say. Or at least not much which I feel like I can talk about on here. At least not yet. I’m not saying I’m done with blogging, but I feel like I need to make it where I do it only when I want too.
My life has changed a lot in this past six months. However, as I’ve gotten more sure of myself and started feeling more emotionally secure, I don’t find that I have as much to say here. I don’t really need to use this space as therapy most of the time. On top of that, my daughters are too old for me to be sharing most of their lives online. My son isn’t there yet, but I know not many people care to hear about him all the time. At the present time, I don’t know what else I’ll write about.
I have been struggling with this site for a while. Do I leave it? Do I try and do something different with it? I’m not sure what the answer is. Memes are not the answer, this I know. I also know I need to stop feeling guilty if I don’t post. I know I need to get to where I only post when I want too.
I hear people say that Twitter killed personal blogging. Maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s not. I’ll tell you though, I’ve never felt more supported in my life than I have since meeting all the amazing people I met on Twitter.
Today I’m going to take down my BlogHer Ads. They’ve been here for awhile and while I adore BlogHer, I don’t need the pressure of ads on my site. It makes me check my stats after every post, which really is pressure I don’t need. Yes, it’s pressure only I am putting on myself, but it’s there. This is not about them, it’s about me.
I’m not done with blogging. This is not a goodbye. It’s just a post about my reality in this moment. I’ll still post when I want and I hope you guys will still read it when that happens. It just may be longer in-between posts.
I adore personal blogging and I hope it’s not dead. Maybe it’s just a bit dormant at the moment? I suppose only time will tell.
Is there a prize for that? For making it six weeks off of anti-depressants? There should be, although I’m not exactly sure what it could be. Maybe a nice pretty gift box of treats from Harry & David. WHAT? A girl can dream can’t she?
It’s weird, making it this far. I know six weeks isn’t far. However after four years, it seems like a big step in the right direction. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that there were many times I wondered if I would make it this far. I wasn’t sure I’d make it a week, much less six. I’m not sure what will happen long term. I’m honestly not sure. However, I know I’ve made it this far.
A lot of people asked me why I did this. Why risk falling into a major depression? Why deal with side effects if you may have to go right back on it? Why now? I’m not sure I’m willing to answer that in the moment. I had my reasons and I’m not really ready to share them with the world. But I do promise you that I thought about this very carefully. I weighted all my options and made lists of pros and cons. Will I make it through winter? Hell if I know. It’s a goal though.
As you all well know, I’m an emotional person. High maintenance you could even call me. (Trust me, I’m aware.) I have problems with anxiety, depression and a very over active mind. I’ve had some really exhausting days in the past six weeks. Days where I let myself get too upset over nothing. I’ve had days where I’ve ended up weeping at night until I fall asleep. I’ve had a few days where I’ve been mildly depressed. I’ve been angry a few times. Really seriously angry. (Which is a new one for me. I’ve never really done angry.) Yet, I’ve managed it. I’ve made it through whatever was going on and gotten up the next day knowing it would be better.
I’ll tell you the weirdest thing. There was a day at BlogHer where I thought, fuck this, I can’t do this. I am falling apart. My anxiety was through the roof. Everything I ate made me sick. Every fiber of my being wanted to crawl into bed at 4pm on Friday. So I did the only thing I could think of in that moment. I called one of my best friends and talked to her about laundry. Literally for ten minutes I talked to her about cleaning clothes. I called her, because I knew I could bring up anything and she’d roll with it. I didn’t call my other two best friends, because I knew if I did, I’d fall apart. I could have fallen apart with her, but I also knew I could manage not too. So I talked about laundry and then I was able to continue on with my day. Because I heard her voice and she calmed me down without even knowing it. (Later I told her this and she did know, but like I said, she rolls with whatever.)
BlogHer was a hard one for me this year. Not because of the conference at all. Just because I was un-medicated. Plain and simple. I had no help for my social anxiety. It was a big test and I managed to make it through. Barely, but I did it.
Six weeks. I’ve made it six weeks. My goal in the moment? Is to make it six more. I have to be realistic. I am me and I know myself. If I think long term, I will psych myself out and call my doctor in a week. If I think more short term, it seems more manageable.
It’s been a weird, yet good six weeks. I think I can do this. I really believe I can.
Now….where’s my gift?? 
My home life is small. I lead a small life. Friends are few and far between. I have more acquaintances here than friends. Don’t get me wrong, I do fun things. I shop, I go out to eat, I see movies. My kids and I play mini-golf and we check out parks. We have been to amusement parks and seen numerous movies this summer. A few times a year, we do mini vacations. Yet, more often than not, you’ll find me at home. I don’t mind it. I’m a homebody.
My social life is mostly led online. I work full time and mother full time; I have three children, a house and a dog. This, for me, makes social media the easiest way to connect with people. It’s because of social media that I have any friends at all. I tell you that because it’s true. I’m also lucky enough to tell you that I have tons of amazing friends. Friends I can count on, friends who always support me. I’ve long since stopped caring that most of them live elsewhere.
People ask me all the time if going to BlogHer is worth it and I always tell them HELL YES! You want to know why? Because I got see my friends. For the past three years I’ve gone to BlogHer to be with the people I love and adore. At times I fit more living into those four days than I do in a regular six month time period. I come back horse each year from talking so much. I come home full of love, from all the amazing hugs and conservations. It holds me over until the next time I can go, or the next time I can go see my best friends.
My trip this year was both a BH trip and a BFF trip. Two for the price of one. Heh.
People ask me why they should spend the money and time to go to BlogHer and I can’t always explain it. It’s hard to put it into words. The best I can try and do is tell you some of the highlights of my weekend. Then…well you can decide for yourself.
I do this for dinners spent with nine people. For round tables at seafood places, and long rectangular ones at Mexican places. For tables where everyone talks at once together and others where a small intimate conversation manages to take place in the midst of a crazy loud one.
I do this to make connections. To introduce people I feel like I’ve known forever, to other people who I’ve known for years. To find someone a bed last second and to meet someone new at an airport at 6am on day one.
I do this to laugh at how four people can sit on a couch on their phones and still chat non-stop, without anyone thinking they are being ignored. I do this to be amazed at how a room full of people at a Blogging conference can spend three hours without anyone checking their phone.
I do this to check out a new city. Or at times to get to explore a part of a city that I’d been to before.
I do this for lunches the first day, where you start off with a group of 5 and end up getting a table for 9. For texts from people saying: I AM HERE! Midnight chats in bed. 8am chats in bed. Ha. Breakfasts of bagels and Starbucks for three days in a row.
I do this to finally meet someone at a party the last night and hug them eight times in a row. This amazing person who you’ve been friends with for six years and never managed to meet. Because each time something like this happens, I spend the next day wishing I’d had two more days to spend with this person.
Literally running into someone in the hallway and then spending the next two hours chatting with them and others who turned up.
I do this for: Sparklecorn. Cake balls. Serenity Suite. The Hallmark store that let me send a card to someone. Meeting people in the lobby.
I do this because we sit and chat about the people who are missing. The ones who were going to come and couldn’t last minute. The ones of you who wanted to be there. Even those of you who never want to come. We talk about you too. We share your blogs with each other. We gossip in the good way, the best way. The way that makes it seem like you are all there in a way.
I do this to watch the community keynote each year. To see 12-15 brave people stand up and read their posts. To laugh with them, to cry with them and sometimes laugh until I cry. This year, I had the pleasure of watching a very dear friend of mine read her post. Not the post I’d put in for her to read, but an even better one. It’s powerful and I hope you’ll take a few minutes to listen to it. (Please ignore the poor quality. I took it on my phone. You can hear it perfectly though.)
Each year I go in thinking that maybe next year I’ll pick a smaller conference. I say, this is my last one. By the end, I’m plotting how to get to next years. And this? This is all why.
This is why I do this.
I have an entire post in my head. A post about my amazing experience at BlogHer; about old friends and new friends; about taking a little boy to the beach and the experience of sitting on a couch for the first time ever with my three best friends. This will all be said. Just not today.
Today I’d like to talk about how I managed to get to BlogHer this year. Or rather how you may want to think about how you can get there next year.
The conference location for next year was announced before I’d even left my hotel room Friday morning. What can I say, I’m slow to get ready. The tweets started immediately. People pissed at where it was. People thrilled at where it was. People wondering why it wasn’t in their city. No offense to anyone, but Kentucky, Nevada or Texas are not places I want to go in August. I was a bit annoyed in the moment by people, but I decided to shut down Twitter and move on with my day. BlogHer does the best they can with it. The location will never make everyone happy. They need places near good airports. They need huge convention centers near multiple hotels and tons of restaurants. They look for cities that people will enjoy. Mostly? They have to find some place that will take us. This is just a guess, but bloggers aren’t known for being nice. Social media has made us all big complainers every time we dislike anything. If you were a big hotel/convention center, are you sure you’d want us there?
That all said and done, the real thing I’d like to talk about is the reality of cost in going to BH. I think people make it out to be much more than it really is. I’ve heard people claim you need $3000 to attend. If that were true? I’d never of gone. I think going to BlogHer is possible for most people. Not all. I won’t claim that anyone can save the money for it. I do know though that if you want to go next year? Why not start trying to save now? It’s easier than just complaining about how horrible expensive it is on Twitter during the entire conference. (And the entire month prior.) It’s easier that admitting defeat the second the next years location is announced.
I want to try and break it down for you, if I can. I want to take a bit of the mystery out of it. Maybe then, you can come next year. Or the following year at least. Maybe then you won’t be that person on Twitter complaining about the #BlogHer11 tweets, while never bothering to mute the hashtag. We all know curiosity and jealousy and sadness some how all get jumbled up together. However, when you say you can’t go the second the following year is announced, most of us do not feel bad for you.
Sorry. I know I’m being harsh. I’ve also been doing this blogging thing for six years. That’s six conferences. I’ve only been to three of them. I get what it’s like to sit home and wish you were there. I do. But I’d made the choice to not go those years so I had to just let it go.
Anyway….here’s what I know:
Plane tickets are generally cheapest if you buy them on a Tuesday or Wednesday. Two months out is best. Mine cost me $156. I had a lovely friend who was stalking all airline websites for us to find tickets. Now, please note that I flew out at 7am on Thursday morning. That meant getting up at 4am, yet I did it for a cheap flight. Last year my flight to NYC cost me $256. That’s pretty dam good for NYC. I also got up super early that year.
A full BlogHer conference pass costs $160 if bought today. It will go up to $200 around February. You can also look into volunteering for them, which means working about 6-8 hours over two days and they’ll give you a full pass for free. There are student rates if you are in school. There are also Party/Expo only passes which I believe are pretty cheap. Under $70 I believe. I’m considering doing that next year.
BlogHer always get a certain number of rooms at a discounted rate. They filled up about two month prior to the conference. They are $199 a night. Sounds horrible, I know….however Hilton/Marriott/Sheraton are the hotels they pick and to stay there is always higher than that. My hotel room this year cost $340. That was three nights and I didn’t share my bed. We only had two to a room. Next year, I will likely do 4 to a room, which would be $170. That’s the cheapest way to do it and it’s always like a big slumber party. Pick your roommates wisely and it will be the best three nights of your year.
I saved money to eat out at nice restaurants. You don’t have too. I know someone who only spent $7 on food this year. She’s like the BH food wizard or something. She ate the meals the conference provided. She drank the coffee they provided. She made her dinner out of the appetizers served at parties and snacked at the Expo and in the hallways of the convention center. There was always food out somewhere this year.
It’s doable people. It’s possible if you want it enough.
To go this year, I gave up going to Starbucks every day. I took up making coffee at home. I took a hundred dollars a month and put it aside. Please know that I went to California for a week, so I needed to save more money. That included me renting a car and driving to LA to spend three more nights with best friends. That included me eating out at phenomenal and somewhat pricey restaurants.
I probably spent around a thousand dollars total. Which is insanely expensive. I understand that. However? I lived big. I took tons of spending money. You don’t have too. You can still go and do it small. Hell, I still have money in my wallet to replace my car battery which is completely dead.
If you want to go next year or even the following year, start saving now. Put $50 aside at the beginning of each month. You don’t have to put $100 aside. Stop going to Starbucks or using RedBox. Downgrade your cable one tiny step or turn off Netflix. Put down the shoes that you don’t need a few times. Eat in one more time a month. Eat cereal or grilled cheese that one night instead of ordering pizza. Each time you do that, take that money and put it in a jar. You’d be surprised how quick it adds up. Don’t use your change when you use cash. I put all change in a large Pepsi tin. All year, I put any change in there. That was how I had spending money for this trip.
If you want this, you can make it happen. If not? If you’re not willing to at least try, then you feel free to complain about each tweet next summer too. But at least be willing to try, if it’s something you want to do.
***Updated because of a conversation of Twitter.
1. What’s the ring tone on your phone?
2. Are you going to BlogHer this summer?
3. If you have an iPhone or really an iAnything, what is your current favorite app?
4. What do you normally eat for breakfast?
5. Can you swim? Can you ride a bike?
*****
My answers: (because people always ask when I do this)
1. Michael Buble, I just haven’t met you yet. And I’m sick to death of it.
2. Heck yes. Can’t wait.
3. Mine is a tie between You Don’t Know Jack and Angry Birds Rio. Rio will win, once there are new levels. NEXT WEEK!!! Ahem.
4. I need something new. I was eating granola and yogurt, but my stomach can’t deal with the heaviness of granola right now. I’ve been making banana bread every week, but I’m starting to get tired of it.
5. Swim yes. Swimming is a must when you grow up in Los Angeles. Bike riding…um nope.
I’ve always had trouble taking compliments. I have a theory on why, but let’s just leave it at, when you’ve been abused as a kid, you tend to think you aren’t worth much. Part of it, I think I’ve gotten better at. Some of it may be a life long struggle. I try, I really do, but I tend to think I fail.
When people say something nice to me, I tend to come up with a million reasons in my head, as to why it’s not real. I berate myself. In my head. Sometimes outloud. Although I learned long ago to keep most of that to myself, because people then get a bit yelly. It’s not easy. To take a compliment as just a compliment. To hear the words and believe what people are saying, when you sometimes hate yourself. I know someone will yell at me for that. But a lot of times I do hate myself. I feel that I’m worthless. I know logically why I feel that way at times, yet, I’m not always able to stop it.
This past week has been a challenge for me. To go to a conference and have people want to meet me. Little ole me. Just because. Last year, I was able to tell myself, well I did that keynote, so they know who I am.
Yet there was 2,400 hundred people at the Hilton this past weekend and some people wanted to meet me. For the key reason, that they just wanted to meet me. This year, people said hi to me in elevators. Just because. People hugged me in the hallway. Just because. I didn’t do anything special this year. I was just me.
Do you know how strange that is for me?
I’ve cried about 12 times this past week, reading re-caps. You know why? Because people have said nice things about me. People who didn’t manage to meet me have said, I wish I’d met you. Some people told me, I was a reason they had a great time, I made their experience better. It warms my heart to hear that.
It’s strange for me though. It’s awesome and I love it, but it’s strange. I don’t always find myself worthy of this community. I generally feel like I don’t bring much too it.
What I do know? These past few days, instead of reading nice things about myself through a filter, through my filter, I just read them. I absorbed them. They made me smile, they made me cry. I believed them.
Progress. Small progress. But it’s something.
This year? I see photos of myself and I think, I truly love that photo. I haven’t picked apart how I looked in any of them.
I just love them.
So thank you. You and you and you. All of you. Just….thank you.
First, hi. I’ve missed you all. I’ve missed my little spot over here this past week.
I had the most amazing four days. Truly. I figure, since I’m me…and I’m completely exhausted…I’ll make you all a short list of reasons why I will be at next years conference.
1. I have the greatest friends in the entire world. People like my roomies Kari and Stacey who make me feel like I’ve known them forever. People who I can’t imagine my life without. People who I was so incredibly sad to leave after four days. I am already planning out how to get to San Diego just to spend more time with them. This is why I will be there. To see them. To hug them. To spend days talking to them.
2. I met some of the most amazing people ever. Jill, Jodi, Betsy, Maggie, Kim, Jessi, Kat. I know there are so many people I will be forgetting….please to be forgiving me. But hugging in person, people who you talk to daily? Is just a huge reason I do this every year. People who crack you up. People who make you think. People who make you feel okay about continuing to do this. People who help you remember why you stay in this crazy online world, despite the drama that goes on. Each year the group is a bit different, but it so far has made me realize, it’s just a chance to spend time with new people.
Meeting people who you immediately wonder how you’d never run across them in the community. People like Lisa. Wendi. People who are so nice and funny and genuine and you wonder how in the world you haven’t been following them this whole time.
Finally meeting people who you’ve talked to for years but never gotten to meet before. Liz, Kristen, Carmen.
Meeting all of those people? So worth my trip.
Seeing, hugging, eating with people you already know? It’s why I keep doing this.
3. Meals that somehow just work out. Meals with ten people. Four who you invited, four more who others invited, two who you managed to pick up in the lobby. Meals that were planned by basically inviting people and then inviting more people, until you get the random amazing group who ends up going. Because we all know, people are busy. People are trying to fit everything in. Meals, where it’s great whoever shows up. Meals, that you aren’t wanting to end. Because the conversations are so stimulating. So fun. So entertaining. It makes it worthwhile. It makes you trip. Inpromtu brunches and lunches and dinners at new restaurants? Are why I do this.
By the way? Serendipity? A life goal I have now accomplished. Frozen hot chocolate? Worth the airfare to NYC alone.
4. Watching your friend give a phenomenal keynote and watching all the other amazing people up there share their words, their stories.
5. Late night conversations in bed the last night. Sharing secrets, sharing stories, catching up with your friends after the lights are off. When after 2am, someone finally says, no matter how late we stay up, we still have to leave tomorrow, so maybe we should get a bit of sleep.
6. Sparklecorn. MamaPop managed to out-do themselves this year. I love that party. In fact? It was the only one I actually managed to attend. I would like to RSVP for next year. Like now. Can I do that please? Tracey? Amy? What do you say? Ha. You all did an amazing job with that party. I can’t even imagine how much work went into it. DUDE!!!! That cake. So good.
I tried to get to other parties. Something about BlogHer though? You just have to go with the flow. The flow for me this year? Was just have fun. Not feel stressed. There’s just no way to do it all.
7. Conversations about you. Yes you. You too. Oh and you, hidden in the back. We talk about you. In good ways. We talk about friends we wish were there. Best friends who weren’t able to make it. People we met last year. People we love. Blogs we adore. Blogs we read every day. We talk about how we wish you could all make it next year. How we sometimes want to hug every person who is lovely in our comments, especially on hard posts. We talk about you. We remember you. We miss you.
8. Hearing a friend, someone who you adore say: I was ready to be done. But this has helped me see, I’m not done. That makes it all worth it.
9. A day spent wandering New York with one of your best friends.
10. Seeing a new city. It really is a fun thing to explore a city you’ve never been too. I’d never seen NYC. I have been to San Diego many, many times. But exploring it with my friends next year? Will be awesome.
BlogHer 10 was amazing. I loved it. I did what I wanted. Enjoyed my friends. Saw a new city. Had an absolute blast. I am sure there was drama, but I wasn’t involved in any of it and I’m not willing to give it the time of day. BlogHer is what you make of it. I made my BlogHer experience a great one. The staff of BlogHer did a fabulous job and I want to thank them.
So, yes…I will be at BlogHer11 in San Diego.
I didn’t think I was going to be able to go to BlogHer this year. If memory serves me, I even posted in February saying, hey, just as an FYI, I’m not going. I did it to save myself the heartache of trying to go and not being able to come up with the money later on. I’m good at that. Setting myself up for failure. So, I thought I’d just say no and be done with it.
That very day, I received oh say, 12 DM’s from a very dear friend, Megan (Undomestic Diva) basically telling me that in no way was she accepting my no as an answer and it was obvious to her that I wanted to go, so I just was going to make it happen. The end. She’s demanding, that girl. But I love that about her. She was also very right.
The next day I was given an extraordinary gift, by one of my best friends, Jenna. She’d bought a BlogHer ticket and wasn’t going to be able to go and had tried unsuccessfully to sell it to someone. She gifted it to me. I tried to argue, to say I’d pay her over time. Have you ever tried to argue with a stubborn best friend? I don’t recommend it. She won, I gave up. I have thanked her so many times, I’m afraid this time, she may really throw a shoe at me, all the way from Oregon. However….thank you friend. You are the reason I am going. Without you, I wouldn’t have made the rest of it happen. Love you.
When my mom asked me what I wanted for my 30th birthday in April, I said, um…how about a plane ticket to NYC in August. She said, okay, I can do that on one condition. Her condition was getting to keep my kids for two weeks. Ha. A DOUBLE birthday present. I love my mommy. She is showing up today, to take them to the land of, Grandma is cooler than your mommy. It’s a very important and amazing place.
I found some amazing roommates. Stacey and Kari are two of my very favorite people in the world. The rest is kind of history. I’m going. I’ll be there. Megan was right, I wanted to go. I’m so thrilled that it all worked out. I can’t even tell you all how much of a break from my life I need right now.
So now, some weird things to know about me before hand:
-First of all, hi, I’m Issa. *waves* I know you all know that, but what people always ask is, how do I pronounce Issa? Well see my name is actually Melissa. Which I will totally answer too. Issa is a nick name for Melissa. The best way I can explain it, is this: Issa is Melissa without the Mel or Lissa without the L. (Try and call me Mel and you die. Am not kidding. I don’t find it funny and I DESPISE it. Try it more than once and I will most likely not speak to you any more.) There is no E sound in Issa. Got it? Please, don’t worry about screwing it up. Because honestly, I am probably going to look at you and go, and your Twitter/Blog Name is what again? Just ask, I promise I don’t bite and I’ll say Issa for you.
-I won’t be wearing much black, so I’ll be easy to spot in a crowd, in my colorful ass shirts. It’s not that I don’t like black, it’s that it makes me look too washed out. I am Polish Pasty. It’s a genetic condition.
-I don’t drink. Or if for some reason I do, it’s one drink. That is all. I don’t mind being around drunkards. It’s just not my thing.
-I once accidentally drank a wine cooler. I was ten years old. I had no concept of what it was, nor that it wasn’t just a kids drink, because it sure as hell tasted like one. It made me super sick. I can’t really drink sweet fruity drinks because of it.
-I will be the one wearing flip-flops the entire time. I did buy one new pair though. I luff them.
-I am a neurotic gum chewer. I have shitty teeth and I’m not really supposed to chew it, so I chew a piece, spit it out after five minute and then get a new piece another 30 minutes later.
-I will confuse you by using my kids real names. Because in person there is no way I will say their fake names. I can type it without thinking, but I just can’t keep it up in conversation.
-I will try really hard to be outgoing. Please to be knowing, it’s not the way I am naturally….so it may seem forced at times.
-I am not now, nor have I ever been cool. I have one new shirt. Because that is all I can afford to purchase at this time. I am likely to wear the same clothes as last year. Same flip-flops too. I have an anxiety disorder. I’ve been through a lot this year and I’m prone to crying. Shrug.
-Unless your Twitter avatar is posted on your forehead, I may not remember your name. Even if we met last year. Please remind me your name. I do want to meet you. I’m just bad with names.
-Last year there were people I wanted to meet and didn’t. A few I never saw (Maggie Dammit) a few I did and chickened the fuck out (Mom 101 & Motherhood Uncensored). I regretted that. The seeing and chickening out. I mean what if that had been my only chance ever? It isn’t, it won’t be, I’ve promised both Liz and Kristen that I WILL MEET THEM THIS YEAR. But still. It could have been, you know? If you want to meet me and you see me, please come say hi. I don’t bite. Promise. No matter how I appear, I am just as socially awkward as the next person.
-I am a self proclaimed baby whisperer. If you’d like to test that theory out, I’d love it. I have serious baby wants in this moment.
-I am blind as a bat. I will run into walls; trip over absolutely nothing and look at my nose when I get too tired.
-I am addicted to Starbucks. I will likely be easy to find each morning, as there is a SB in our hotel lobby.
-I am really going to NYC to eat. Seriously. My list of things to eat is getting out of hand.
-My three best friends are not going to be there. Please ignore me being permanently attached to my cell phone. I text and email them often. I am a multi-tasker. I will try to keep it to a minimum. However, they are my life line. I make no promises.
-I am going to be helping out in the Serenity Suite a few times. I will post when, next week, so if you’d like to come visit me then you can.
That’s all I know.
Grab My Button!
I’m a joiner
