Part one, if you missed it or would like to see it again is HERE.
Last time we covered business cards, the fact that Issa can’t remember names, the utter lack of dress code, food, swag, drama and leaving the hotel. You know, the basics. This time I’d like to touch on things that hopefully will make you feel more comfortable and confident at the conference. Or at least that’s the goal.
The reason so many of us do these types of posts is because we remember how skerred we were the first time. Then you get there and realize, okay, this is doable. I may survive the next four days. Hell, it’s even fun. Which is why so many of us go back. So now, moving forward….
Please take this all with a grain of salt. It’s all really just my non-expert opinions…from one conference experience.
Know who else is going: Ahead of time get cell numbers of peeps you want too meet. Last year I sent out an email to my friends. I knew when people were getting in, who was rooming with who and I had a cell phone full of phone numbers. It helps to feel secure, when you can text people when you land; when you show up at the hotel; or when you are scared/sad/anxious/hiding in a bathroom.
Have buddies: Discuss the sessions at breakfast. Talk about where you want to meet up after for lunch. Don’t leave it to chance if you are nervous. There is no need to eat alone at a conference with 1,200 people. Last year for one lunch, I ended up at a table where I only knew one person. By the time lunch was over, I knew six new people.
Groups are awesome: Invite random people to dinner with you. No joke. Last year on the last night, a bunch of us decided to venture out to an Italian restaurant about 8 blocks away. I am pretty sure I invited every person we saw in the lobby and standing around outside. We started out with a group of say 12 and got to the restaurant with about 22 people. It was one of my two favorite moments. Invite people to Starbucks with you too. You’ll meet some cool people that way.
Utilize Twitter: Use twitter to find people. It’s easy to tweet in the morning, I’m going to Starbucks in ten minutes. If you want to come meet me in the lobby. It’s the best way to find your friends. Yo @blahblahblah where are you? But try to enjoy the event and not spend the entire time on twitter. People who aren’t going equally want to know whats going on and don’t want to know everything that’s going on. Also, my personal opinion is that if you spend the entire time at a conference on your computer, you will miss out on the fun of the conference.
WiFi: Know that the wifi will likely suck. Save yourself the trouble of getting your panties in a bunch. Hai, 1200 bloggers wanting to use it. Just know it now and you won’t expect as much at the hotel. Yes, the hotel has wifi. They are generally prepared for bunches of users. However, bunches of users and 1200 bloggers is big difference.
Do something for you: Something small for you, before the conference. Remember when school was just starting each year, how if you had a new backpack and lunch box and fresh new crayons, it seemed like it could be a good year? How wearing a new outfit that first day make you stand a bit taller?
It’s sort of the same for BlogHer. It can be scary. Mostly the thought of it. When you are there, it’s way less scary. I promise.
To make myself feel more secure and stand a bit taller as I walked into the hotel, I did a few small things for myself the week prior. I bought new flip-flops, my shoes of choice. I bought two new shirts. I got my hair trimmed the week before. The night before, I got a pedicure. All I can tell you is what I did. You have to find whatever it is for you. Just try and do something. It really does help.
Remember Issa’s number one rule: friends don’t let friends drink room coffee.
Part one, because I’m sure there is more.
I know, I know…it’s only June. Why in the world am I talking about BlogHer already? Those who have been are wondering why I’m doing this two months early. Come on Issa, you know it’s only JUNE right? The conference isn’t until August. Those who aren’t going are shaking their heads, rolling their eyes and thinking, already? Seriously?
I know. Mea culpa. Have you looked around though? People are already freaking out. This is for the newbies. Because this time last year? I was them. I started freaking out two months prior. No joke. I started having BlogHer nightmares about this time. I’m me though, I’m an anxious person. However? I know I’m not alone. I figured I’d bring up a few things, to help you out. I’m sure I’ll come up with more later. When I do, I promise to post them.
Business cards: If you can, get them. I bought 150. I think. I came home with 40. Or something. I’ll buy new ones this year. It’s hard to remember everyone. It’s nice to have those cards when you come home. I put my name, blog name, blog address and Twitter ID on it I believe. I used Zazzle last year and paid $25.00 with shipping. But there are tons of places to get them.
It’s not you, really. It’s not: I have, well I’m going to call it people ADD. I’ll be in the middle of a conversation with someone, see someone I just have to say something to, tell you I’m coming back and then I’ll get lost. It happened a few times last year. I’m sorry if I did it to you. There is just soooooo many people and sooooo little time. Please try not to take it personal.
People are mostly nice: They will talk to you. Some people aren’t so nice. Guess what? BlogHer is real life. 1,200 or so people who all happen to blog, in one hotel at the same time. There will be people you like and some you don’t like, all there. At once. It’s okay. It’s a big hotel.
I went up to people I’d always wanted to meet and said hello. I talked to people I’d never heard of. I talked to random people in the elevator and the lobby. I walked up to people I thought I knew and then realized I had no idea who they were. All of those people were nice to me. This year, I vow to be braver. To make sure I meet the few people who I was too scared to last year.
I? Am a very nice person. I’m polite. I’m kind. I smell purty. I don’t bite. Swear. If you see me and want to meet me, feel free to come say hello.
Bloggers who you’ve always wanted to meet are likely to be willing to talk to you. Do me a favor though? Remember that they are there to visit with their friends too. No matter how big name a blogger is, nor how unknown, most of us are there to see our friends. Meet new people? Yes, that too. But try not to take it personally. I? Want to meet anyone who wants to meet me. Promise. But that doesn’t mean I’m not there to see my friends. It’s not an affront to you, if they are busy with someone else, or chatting with their friends. It’s not a personal attack on you, it’s just life.
Use the same theory you would at home, if someone is in mid-conversation wait for a slow moment to interrupt. People are nicer if you remember the manners that we teach our children.
Every year there will be posts after the fact of people who felt it was a personal attack that someone didn’t have time to talk to them. It’s generally not. This conference happens once a year. I am seeing my friends who I haven’t seen in a year. People I talk to online every day. It’s different to have this few days. To hug in person. To talk, joke, laugh and if you are like me, cry in person. 95% of the people there are there for the same reason.
Wear what you want: Wear whatever makes you comfortable. If you want a new dress for the parties, buy and wear a new dress. There will be people wearing dresses. There will be people not dressing up at all.
I promise you, I don’t care what you are wearing. Heck, I’ll barely care what I’m wearing. I saw people seriously dressed up. I saw people dressed more casually. Some dressed up for parties. I’m a jeans, t-shirt and flip-flop girl myself. I doubt I’ll change for parties. If I do, it will just be a fresh t-shirt. But that’s me. Be you.
There’s a little bit of everything. My friend brought six pairs of shoes. He’s strange though. I believe I brought two pairs of flip-flops. Whatever floats your boat. Truly. Just know, be comfortable in what you are wearing and you will be fine.
Leave the hotel: Trust me. I didn’t do it last year except for daily visits to the local Starbucks and two dinners out. LEAVE THE HOTEL. You will regret it if you don’t. I’d never been to Chicago. Want to know what I saw in Chicago? NOTHING. I won’t make that mistake again. I am not even saying leave tons. But make a point of picking one thing and doing it. I have a million things I’d like to see and do in NYC. I’ve picked two for this trip. See Central Park….not all of it mind you. But a part of it. I just want to see it. I also pan on going to Serendipity. That’s it. Two things. So that I don’t regret not seeing something.
Food: Food and water can be scarce around the hotel, although I promise you that caffeine will be everywhere. One can not live on booze and Starbucks. Enough said. Eat. Go find food. Drink water. This one speaks for itself.
Drama: There will be some. There is always some. Try to avoid it. Sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you have too big of a mouth and you step into it without meaning too. (see: me) It’s okay. It’s all okay. It’s only four days of your life.
Panels/workshops: Whatever you want to call them. There are tons of choices of pick from. I went to way too many last year. (Please see above on not leaving hotel.) I went to tons, however I only truly enjoyed two of them. The MamaPop one and the Men of BlogHer one, which was given by some of my favorite male bloggers. The rest? Meh. I can’t even remember what they were about, if that tells you anything.
See the Keynote: Plan on being around for this. I’ve heard it’s amazing. I believe it. I just don’t remember it. Because last year I was in it. I went second. I followed Bossy. I was so anxious and nervous that I barely remember that entire day. I wanted to hide in a corner and evaporate. However the corners backstage were already being used…plus hai, second. If you aren’t in it, I hear it’s the best part of the conference. (I did watch the video and I can attest to this being true.) If you are in it, well um…email me if you want. You can do it. Swears.
Swag: It’s not worth fighting over. I swear to you. It’s not. I went home with nothing, except a squishy ball from the Men of BlogHer panel. I gave it all away. If you think elbowing babies is worth a Swiffer wipe or a USB flash drive, well come see me, I’ll give you mine.
Have fun: Make it fun. Enjoy it. You are on vacation for peet’s sake. Ignore the drama if you can. Party. Meet new people. Talk to strangers. If you see someone sitting in a corner, go sit with them. Chances are? They are just as freaked out as you. Truly, BlogHer is what you make of it.
That’s all I’ve got for now. If you have anything you want to know, I’ll gladly answer it for you.
So yeah, on Monday I said, that there was no way in the world that I’d make it to BlogHer this summer. In that moment, it was the truth. The other truth? Is that I seriously wanted to go (special thank you to my friend Megan at Undomestic Diva for reminding me of this fact), but was afraid that I couldn’t, so I said no. Mostly to not get my hopes up. If I closed that door early on, I thought I could protect myself.
That’s the thing with being emotionally fragile, one tends to do this often. The, let me try and protect myself, because I don’t think I can handle anything else, protection thing.
Or maybe it’s just me who does this.
Anyway, it doesn’t really matter now, because I AM GOING TO BLOGHER THIS SUMMER!!!!! I am coming to NYC in August. I get to go. YAY ME!!!
Because of the absolute amazing-ness of one of my best friends, I’m going to be going to BlogHer 10 this year. I am touched more than I can explain in this moment. (Trust me, more on this later.) I am still in shock and totally overwhelmed by it. But it’s true, I’ll be there this year.
So, who’s with me?
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good…oh wait, I mean I won’t bring up okay, I will try not to bring up BlogHer until July June. Dude, I’ll do the best I can.
In July, on the first night of BlogHer, I met someone I’d never “met” online. I met the lovely Renee, also known as But Why Mommy. After a bit, I found myself sitting across the table from her, at a not so great pizza joint in downtown Chicago. I felt a bit weird because it seemed like I was the only one at the table who didn’t know who she was. The thing that made me feel better, was I didn’t believe she knew who I was either. (Watch, I’ll be wrong about that.) We started talking about our kids. I told her how sad I’d been that morning to leave 10 month old Harrison and how Bailey had been really upset, until Logan had offered her donuts. Yes, my child traded me for a donut. Renee told me all about Bunny, her then three year old; about her love of dinosaurs, how smart she was, how amazing an artist she was at such a young age. When she talked about Bunny, her face lit up. I remember that, even now.
Then I asked her if Bunny was going to be an only child or if they’d have another one day. Renee then said, well we adopted Bunny from China and we’d like to say we’ll one day give her a sibling, but it seems unlikely right now. She told me that they were in the process of adopting a son from Ethiopia, but it seemed like it just might not happen. That the process didn’t seem to progressing at all. That she was unsure if they would continue to move forward or give up. She was sad about that and trying not to be. Trying not to show it. We barely knew each other and I wanted to hug her. I know that feeling, the wanting to expand your family and thinking it will never happen. But all I could say was, oh I really hope it all works out for you. I’d only known the girl for an hour.
That was eight months ago. Eight months is a long time, but also not such a long time. Long enough to make a great friend. Although truthfully, I felt like Renee was a great friend after four days.
Today though, eight months later, my amazing friend is very, very close to bringing her son Lion home. What I mean is, they could literally be going to get him in a few weeks. He is for sure their son. They got that news about ten days ago. Now they just wait for all the paperwork to come in. Then? They go bring their boy home, where he belongs. With Renee and her husband; with his big sister Bunny.
I wanted to do something for my friend. Something big, something amazing. Something to show her how much I love her and how thrilled I am for her. I wanted to throw her a baby shower. Maybe an adoption shower? However, this is the Internet. And? Renee and I live three states away from each other. We have amazing friends, but they are scattered all over the country. It doesn’t make for easy parties. I did the next best thing, I put together an Internet baby shower. There are no brownies, or little cakes, but it has something better than that, tons of friends and love. Which really is more important than little cakes. (Oh how I’d take a little cake right now.)
Anyway…Renee, welcome to your baby shower. **hands over silly hat and little cake** Make yourself comfy, you have a bunch of reading to do today.
I thought about what I could share with you, Renee. What could I possibly tell you that is helpful. I figure I can give you a few pointers on parenting boys. You know from my vast knowledge of the past nearly 17 months. Snort.
1. Boys pee. They pee upwards. This was new for me. Here is my helpful hint. Something I still do to this day. Take a wipe and throw it on the dang thing, the second you open the diaper. Just trust me on this one. Harrison hasn’t peed on me in months, but he still could. It’s something I fully believe to be true.
2. Boys are loud. Not screechy loud like little girls, but volume loud. Very, very loud. Invest in ear plugs.
3. Boys like things that move. Cars, balls, trains, toys that move. They don’t generally care much for toys that don’t do something. Unless it’s tupperware, 100 DVD boxes that can be thrown on the floor or you, when you are sitting. You are a jungle gym. I hope you knew that.
4. Boys are dirty. I have a daughter who is dirty too. Truly, we call her pig pen sometimes. But Harrison is very little and he’s always dirty. Always. I always wonder how he can get dirty playing with his train set in my basement. But he can.
5. Silver wear is a joke. Only give it to him, if you like things chucked at your head. Harrison will eat anything and everything. I do mean everything. But he’s not so big on forks and spoons. He prefers the whole hand as a shovel method.
6. Boys are sweet and cuddly and absolute joys. Parenting a boy, after girls gives me more joy than I could even put into words. I melt each time he gives me that little impish grin. He knows it too, little brat. Ha.
You are a great mom my friend. I have no doubt that Lion is one lucky, amazing little boy. I can’t wait to meet him.
Below is a Mr. Linky. Our friends who had the chance, will be linking posts for you throughout the day. We just wanted you too know that you are loved and that we all love your tiny boy, even though we haven’t met him yet.
ps. I sent you a box. A bit late, but yeah…I’m me. Stuff I said I’d send. Some gifts I bought and a little something for Bunny. Love you sweetie. I could not be more thrilled about you bringing Lion home.
When I was a kid I was shy. Not shy like most people claim, the oh yeah I was kinda shy sometimes in groups of people, type of shy. No, I was the hide behind people so I’d not have to meet anyone, shy. The stand directly behind my aunt in my mom’s wedding, so no one is looking at me, shy. The vomit on the substitute teacher in first grade, because I didn’t think I could just get up and run off, type of shy. The not ask my dad and step-mom to buy me tampons on vacation out of embarrassment and instead spend four days with loads of TP in my underwear, type of shy. The only reason I had friends growing up was because I knew them my entire life. They insulated me in a way. I never needed to make friends, never needed to talk to new people, because I always had five built in best friends. I was outgoing with them, but they were like my siblings almost, for as well as I know them.
A lot of you know I freaked out about going to this conference. I’ve been blogging off and on since 2005. I didn’t go to the 2005, nor 2006 conference because I didn’t think I had it in me to be confident in front of people. I read later about how all of my friends had a blast. Honestly, I wasn’t even jealous. I was almost relieved. I wasn’t online for 2007 and started this blog the week before the 2008 conference.
This year (and this blog), has been different. I am different then I was back then. I wanted to meet all of the people I’ve become friends with in the past year. I wanted to hug them and tell them how much I adore them, how much I love them for being so supportive, so I signed up. I wondered from that second on if I could do it. I wondered if I would hang out in my room. Hide behind plants, like I said on Twitter. I wondered if I could make myself talk to people I didn’t know. I wondered if I could really get up there and read at that keynote.
A week ago today, I decided to email all of the people I knew were going, people who I talk to often and give them my cell number and ask for theirs. It was kind of my way of protecting myself. Of making sure, I’d have people I knew around me.
On Tuesday or Wednesday of last week, I flipped out. You can see that post below if you so choose. I thought in that moment of panic that I couldn’t do it. That I’d not get on the plane, that if I did, I’d stay hidden the entire time.
On Thursday when I got to the hotel, I was feeling overwhelmed. I wanted to hide. Instead I did something I never do. I took a deep breath and then I walked up to a group of eight women, who I was assuming were there for the conference (easy to tell by the squee’s, sorry Kirsten) and I said, hi, I’m Issa, do I know any of you? Not surprisingly they all said no. I exchanged a few cards, hung out for a few seconds and then moved on.
I did this all weekend. I talked to more people that I could even tell you. I have 48 cards for people, whose sites I have never been too. I have just as many for people who I did know. I went up to people who I’ve read for years and said, I’d just like to say hi and tell you how much I love your writing.
I texted people and tried my hardest to make sure everyone I did know, was invited to each meal that I left the hotel for. Can’t say I succeeded at that, as my phone service was shotty at best. But I tried. I tracked down as many people as I could.
I invited people standing in the lobby, for coffee, as I walked to Starbucks each morning, to come with. I invited people to dinner, who I saw in the lobby as well. I tried my damnedest to attend every party, even if just for a little while.
I spent four days living confence life to the fullest. Enjoying as much as my BlogHer experience as I could. I had a blast. I will never speak for anyone else, but my experience was awesome.
I won’t discuss the drama on here, there was some, as there always is and others are more qualified to discuss it. Was there some? Of course. Weirdness? Of course. Hurt feelings? Yes, I know there was. Were their things I saw and heard that bothered me? Yes. But it doesn’t matter anymore. I had fun, I enjoyed myself and that, for me, is what mattered.
The BlogHer conference is what you make of it. Me? I made my experience fantastic. I had a blast with my friends, I enjoyed the panels I went to. I am honored to have been a part of the keynote, which you can see each reading HERE. Truly, watch them all when you have time. Some of the most amazing posts ever. I can’t even begin to tell you what an amazing experience that was, nor how it felt to have strangers talk to me about it for days. It was awesome.
Now? I must relax, because tomorrow my kids come back from camping and my relaxing will end the second they show up.
Hai Internet. I loves you, I misses you. I’m having an absolute blast, but I’m having serious getting on the Internet issues. Like, it’s either slower that watching paint dry, or it just won’t even connect at all. On the laptop as well as my phone.
Anyway, I have a million things to say, stories to share….all that Jazz. However I wanted to share something with you all.
This HERE is my keynote presentation from Friday afternoon at BlogHer. It’s not the one that BlogHer will show/put up at some point, but it is my post. Me, in the flesh, so to speak. The awesome Greis from Amazing Greis posted it on You Tube. Either because she hates me….or cause she loves me. Not sure which. Kidding. She is teh awesome.
That’s all the battery power I’ve got (brain power too) in the moment.
Just wanted you all who know me and wanted to see it, to be able too. Talk to you all later.
Oy before I leave…one more thing. The people who I was on the keynote with were the most AMAZING people in the world. When you get the chance, please watch all of their speeches. They were brilliant and I”m thrilled to have been included on that keynote.
Also mad props and love to Stacey from Anymommy for sending in my post. I can not even begin to thank her enough.
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