Did you know Dial-up still exists? Yeah, I didn’t. It still makes the lovey eeeeeooooooeeeeeooooo noises. Followed by the happy boing boing boing noise when it connects. Only to die five minutes later. I had to laugh at my aunt and uncle. When I mentioned that they could get satellite Internet, since they have satellite TV, my aunt said, why would I want more expensive Internet, since it dies all of the time. It wouldn’t die all the time if you had INTERNET FROM THIS DECADE!!!! Oh…I guess that makes sense. Snort. Yes, yes it does.
So needless to say, I spent the weekend in the boondocks. No Internet. No Starbucks. No real cell reception. It was actually really pleasant. Except when I wanted to text people. Anyway. Let’s see what all I can remember in my tired, exhausted, they messed up my coffee today, state of mind.
TSA: Yeah. People are insane. It literally took us 10 minutes to get through security each way. My kids and I weren’t patted down. I in fact, didn’t see a single pat down. There were big scanners that you stepped into….but only if you set off the metal detector. Truly it was no big deal. It was the fastest I’ve gotten through security in years.
Flying: My kids are really great fliers. I saw so many kids that weren’t. When our plane was delayed on Wednesday night? We went and ate dinner. They raced around in an area that had no people. They played, ride the moving walkways. They played iSpy. Then? My son fell asleep in the stroller and the girls put in a movie. We didn’t end up getting to my aunt and uncles till 2am Thursday. On the way back, my son had discovered Cat in the Hat on the iPad. I’d put a few movies on each of the girls iTouch’s, as well as on my iPhone and iPad, so they’d have a selection to choose from. Harrison spent the entire movie saying, oh silly cat hat. He was pretty dang funny. At the end of the flight a baby two rows back had ear trouble and screamed the last 20 minutes. He kept asking me: why baby cry, mama? Because her ears hurt, I’d say each time. Oh poor bebe, ear owie.
Food: Awesome. That’s really all I can say about that. My uncle even made turkey that I liked. At least the first day. Once it had been in the fridge, I wasn’t that into it. But still, it was tasty that first day. Pie. Lots of it. Mmmmm pie.
Cactus: We were in Arizona. We saw tons of cactus’s. None of my children were very impressed. The funniest thing though, was that they were everywhere. Some people I suppose thought the real ones weren’t enough, so they put in fake ones. EVERYWHERE. This one, was some sort of a fountain.
Family: It was nice to be around the part of my family that has no drama. Because we didn’t invite the rest of them. Ha. This was possibly the easiest Thanksgiving I’ve had in years. My aunt and uncle are nice and easy to be around. My mom was there. She and my aunt took my girls and my cousins daughter to see Beauty and the Beast on Saturday, which they adored. One thing though? My cousin has three kids. Her boys are 17 and 6 and her daughter is almost 9. They are quiet kids. Sweet, nice, polite, well behaved and dam quiet. I am so not used to quiet kids. Mine are sweet, nice, polite, pretty well behaved and chatty as all get out. They never stop talking.
Art/craft show: On Friday, I let myself be talked into it. I mean, really, what else was I going to do? Not shop. I had no room in my suitcase. Anyway. We all went to this craft fair thing. These were possibly the things I loved the best. I mean honestly, don’t you all want one???? You could collect the set.
Oh one more thing. This was in front of a grocery store. I swear, there were more odd statues than I’ve probably ever seen.
It was a great, but completely exhausting weekend. I barely slept, so I’m feeling slow this morning. I hope you all had a great weekend.
I am. I am the holiday Grinch this year. I could pretend it is different. But I’d just be lying.
I don’t want to do Christmas. I don’t really want to think about it. I’ve decided I’m not doing cards this year. It’s too expensive and way too much work.
My brother isn’t doing Christmas this year. He’s going to move after New Years, so all of his money is going to that. Which means he won’t be here, he won’t be sending cards of gifts and he begged my mom and I to not send him anything. I don’t care about the gift part, but I’m sad he won’t be here.
I honestly don’t have the money to do much. Not for Christmas. Not for Morgan’s ninth birthday in a few weeks. I spent money to take us away for Thanksgiving. Four plane tickets for Thanksgiving is pricey.
Divorce is pricey. That’s the truth of the matter. I spent a lot of money this year on that. Shrug. It just is what it is. But I’m just not willing to pretend to spend money, that I really don’t have to spend.
I don’t know what the holidays will look like this year. Last year was pure torture. Logan and I were not in a good place. It was downright miserable. Somehow the thought of it just being me, doesn’t make it sound any better. It should, but it doesn’t yet. It sounds depressing. I decided that I will have the kids Christmas Eve, he will have them Christmas day. In theory, this makes us both happy. This is my chance to make new memories, new traditions with my kids. I can make this my way, however I want that to be.
In reality? I’m just not happy with any of it.
I know at some point, I will need to decorate. For my kids sake. Although, how I put lights on my house, alone, I have no idea. How I carry a tree inside my house and set it up alone, I don’t know that either. I will, but the thought of it makes me very tired.
But dam it, if it were up to me? I’d cancel all of it. Just skip it this year.
Just call me Grinch. Issa Grinch.
1. Next year I’d like to leave the country for Halloween. Preferably to a country that doesn’t know what Halloween is. My reasons why, are as follows:
1.a. The expensive, purchased by my mother, costume that Morgan just HAD TO HAVE, suddenly wasn’t what she wanted to wear, at 4pm yesterday. She’d worn it on Friday to school, therefore it was old and now uncool. Sigh. The life of an almost nine year old who thinks she is seventeen. She managed to find enough stuff in our play clothes to form herself a new costume. Some sort of pirate witch. As aggravated as I was? I am also sorta impressed. I mean, the girl looked great. But I was super freaking annoyed.
1.b. Bailey reached a level of sugar insane-ness yesterday that can only be called epic tantrum meltdown insanity. That about covers it. I nearly didn’t let her go out, in her sweat pants and shirt with barely any make-up on. She was supposed to be a mummy, but wouldn’t let me wrap her up. Lucky for her, she’s six and cute, so I let her live. Also, people still gave her candy.
1.c. At 3pm yesterday, my ex’s aunt brought us the ugliest pumpkin ever. To carve. At 3pm on Halloween. Yeah, it didn’t happen. It sat on my porch all lonely and un-carved. She had good intentions. She only bought it, because it was for charity, but still. A pumpkin. The day of Halloween.
1.d. I was stupid enough to think that if I let the kids eat candy all weekend, they’d not want it by today. FAIL. They all thought they should get some at breakfast this morning. Uh no.
Like I said, next year? NO HALLOWEEN!!!!!!
2. I should not be allowed to be on Twitter while under the influence of NyQuil. If you’d like proof of why, well you’ll have to go look at my Tweets from Friday night. If you choose to do this however, please don’t think less of me.
3. Most people agree with me, that Willy Wonka, never should have been re-made. They ruined it.
That is all. I hope you all had a great Halloween. Tell me, what were your kids? Did you dress up?
ps. Can we hold off on all the dang Thanksgiving talk for at least a week? Please? I am just not ready.
1. Tomorrow morning, at the butt crack of dawn, I am leaving on vacation. I will be home on Tuesday. I need this trip. I need a few days away from my life. A few days of hanging out somewhere else. Eat cupcakes to my divorce. Something, ya know? I am so excited for this trip, however the time that my flight is in the morning, makes me question my own sanity.
2. I have had trouble sleeping the past few nights. I’d been in a better sleeping stretch for a while, but it seems to have left me. Have you seen it? I’d really like it back.
3. Last Saturday, Morgan had her very first dance recital. She has now been hit by the dancing bug. She wants to double up on her dance classes. Which would be fine if I didn’t have two other children who deserve to take classes too. She loved being on the stage and having everyone clap. I’m not even bragging when I tell you that my girl has mad skills. She is a great dancer. Truly.
4. I can’t decide whether I will post while I’m gone or just not bother. We’ll see. I’d have to write said posts today and I’m just not sure I have the energy for that. If I don’t? Well I will be seeing you all next week.
5. Yesterday Mom101 started National Thank a Blogger Day. You can also see it on Twitter with the hashtag, #thankablogger. I love her for this and a ton of other reasons. This one though? Is a great idea. It was nice to see everyone thanking others yesterday. I could thank people for the next three days and I don’t think I’d be able to mention everyone. Mostly though? I’d like to thank all of you. Those who are my friends. Those of you who comment. Those of you who read and never comment. Thank you. Each of you, for being here for me for the past few years. I don’t know what I would have done without all of you.
What? It’s not easy to come up with post ideas all the time. Plus sometimes, I just get tired of posting about my life.
You can’t tell me you wouldn’t steal a great idea from your friends. Ha. I admit, I love this idea. I adore books. I absolutely love reading. I do not do nearly enough of it these days, but that’s okay. I have the rest of my life to read books.
When I was little I wanted to live in a library. I was convinced it was the greatest place in the world. I remember a book, although I can’t remember the name of it, where a couple of kids were locked in a library one night. To me it sounded like heaven. Being locked in a library. I always had three or four books I was reading at the moment. When I’d get in trouble? My mom would take away the books I was currently reading for a few days. She knew, it was the thing that made the most point in my head.
I spent hours in bookstores as a teen. My girls and I can spend hours in one now. My kids and I all love to read. I love nothing more than watching them curl up in a chair with a book…or the Kindle.
Anyway, I stole this post idea from Anymommy. She’s nice though. She loves me despite my thieving ways.
Books I’ve read more than three times: Harry Potter series. Rise & Shine by Anna Quinlan. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
Author that blows me away with brilliance: Harry Potter series, truly the woman is brilliant. C.S. Lewis. Rick Riordan. Judy Blume. Dr. Suess. Yes, they all write kids book. The thing though? Is that for me, anything that gets a kid to read, is a book worth reading. Also, I’ve always loved kids books. Plus all that I’ve listed, are brilliant.
Authors I choose again and again: Anna Quindlen. Zora Neale Hurston. Alice Hoffman. Billie Letts. Rebecca Wells.
I’m currently reading: Number the Stars by Lois Lowry. Because Morgan wants to read it and I need to be prepared for her questions. How do I explain the Holocaust to my eight year old? I’m not exactly sure I know yet. I also just downloaded Alexa Stevenson’s book. It is next on my list.
Best books I’ve read this year: I haven’t read a ton of books this year that weren’t kids books. Um…The Time Travelers Wife maybe? It wins by default. I did like it though. Oh wait, I also read Every Last One by Anna Quindlen. Which I also really liked.
Could not finish classic: Sense and Sensibility. In fact, I can’t stand Jane Austen.
Could not finish modern: The Poisonwood Bible. Also, Revolutionary Road, The Shack, The Help and every book written by Emily Giffin.
Best book I’ve ever read: Their Eye’s Were Watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston.
Guilty pleasure: Okay and this is lame….but Catherine Coulter has a set of FBI novels that I love. Each time she puts out a new one, I buy it in days.
Best preschool age book: Stellaluna. The Monster at the end of this book. The story of Ferdinand. Bluberries for Sal. Dr. Suess. The Napping House.
Best elementary school/early chapters: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Percy Jackson. The Ramona Series. Bunnicula. The Borrowers.
Best tween: Harry Potter Series. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
Don’t see the movie first: Meh, I never care. A movie is a movie. A book is a book.
Book tons of people loved that I hated: The Shack, The Help, Twilight, Life of Pi, Memoirs of a Geisha, anything written by Jodi Picoult.
Best classic: To Kill a Mockingbird.
Classic every American should read: To Kill a Mockingbird. 
Best children’s classic: The Secret Garden.
Best nonfiction: The back of the cereal box or the back of the shampoo bottle is the closest I’ve come in years.
I am way too tired to form real thoughts this morning. It can really be explained in four simple words: two year old molars. Anyway, I have a few questions for you guys, if you are willing to play along.
1. How old do you think a kid should be for a cell phone? At what age will you let your child have one?
2. What new TV show are you most looking forward to watching. Also? What is your favorite returning show?
3. How often do you change your sheets? Come on fess up. Help me out…I was having an argument about this with someone the other day.
4. What is your go-to dinner? The one you can make with your eyes closed?
5. What is your favorite memory of the summer? The best thing you did, the best thing you saw, whatever.
These are things I thought about last night. At 2am. When I wasn’t sleeping. I was kind enough to write them down. Because really, these types of things should be shared.
-Someone should invent a bra that has two different cup sizes. They could call the store, Not Just One. Or maybe, Wacky Boobie Holders. Or hi, your boobs are deformed. One of those. I am sick to death of all my bras. Either one boob is too tight and coming out the top, like a little peek at the world. Or one is fine and the other has enough room for me to stick a Kindle in there for it to read. A party could be had in that bra cup. A boobie party. There’d be room for hats too. Maybe I could stick my phone in there. Then I’d be boob calling people instead of butt calling people.
-I can’t get that dam Miley Cyrus song out of my head. Party in the USA. Could Morgan’s dance class have picked a catchier song? Jeebus. The bad part is, I smile now each time I hear the song on the radio. I’ve lost my coolness. I wonder if I ever had coolness. That maybe needs to be a 3am conversation with myself.
-I want a scone.
-Hmmm, I bet by now my cousin is in Greece. Lucky brat. Wish I could go live in Greece for three months. I wonder if I could pretend to be religious enough for a mission to Greece? Doubtful.
-This cup is seriously mildewy. I wonder if that is a word: Mildewy. I bet it would get a ton of WWF points if it is. Maybe I just made up a new word.
-Dam this kid is snoring a lot tonight. I should get up and sleep in her bed. Or move her to her bed. I’d have to get up for that. I really hope she isn’t getting sick.
-I should stop playing Angry Birds and go to bed. Or I should switch to Bejeweled. Maybe I should sleep. I’m going to need a coffee iv drip in the morning. Ohhh, another great company idea.
-Man this is going to be a stupid post.
I despise Monday. This Monday at least. I’m not really a fan of any Monday’s though.
-This morning, I woke up at 3am with horrible nightmares. The kind that scare me so bad, it then takes me two hours to fall back asleep. Then my son woke me up an hour later.
-I hate that my boss has this one thing that I managed to forget to do, so now I’m on her shit list. It’s not even like it’s a real thing. It doesn’t matter. It has nothing to do with the job. It’s her green M&M. You guys know that story right? The rock star who wrote into their contract that they wanted a bowl of M&M’s with all the green ones removed. It wasn’t like they cared about the green M&M, it was just a way to see how well one read the contract. It’s dumb. I am a great employee. I’m fast and efficient…but I don’t have time for her stupid green M&M.
-I hated leaving my son at daycare this morning. We only had two days together. They’ve been gone for two weeks. He was a clingy mess all weekend. I know he was fine the second I left. I know it because he is him and because I called to make sure. But leaving a screaming toddler is not how I wanted to start my morning.
-I hated leaving my girls at camp this morning. One clingy, the other quietly crying. It broke my dam heart.
-I feel like a moron. I’ve forgotten my allergy meds for two days. I itch so bad, I can barely stand it. My hands are huge and and feet itch. I just want to scratch my dam skin off.
-I read a post this morning. A post that made me realize I was a pain in the ass at BH. I want to email the person and say I’m sorry, I didn’t think about how hard that weekend was for you. But I don’t know if then, I’m just even more annoying than I’m sure I was then.
-I hate that my dam sprinklers are on again. Sixth time in two days. They are set wrong. I don’t know how to set them right. That is obvious. I’ll need to call someone else to do it. Or beg my ex.
Mostly though? I just hate Monday.
Anyone else care to share? Make me feel a bit less alone.
A watched cell phone never texts.
Two weeks? One week too long.
Blog Her Blues, still not gone.
Professional worrying skills, keeps me awake.
Twitter and Facebook: follow suggestions suck.
My new iPhone? Named Potter Jackson.
Morgan, Bailey, Harrison: coming home tomorrow.
Liz, Jenna, Lu: Best friends. Love.
Missing my roomies: Kari, Stacey, iNater.
Want to do six word Friday? Here’s the link.
First, hi. I’ve missed you all. I’ve missed my little spot over here this past week.
I had the most amazing four days. Truly. I figure, since I’m me…and I’m completely exhausted…I’ll make you all a short list of reasons why I will be at next years conference.
1. I have the greatest friends in the entire world. People like my roomies Kari and Stacey who make me feel like I’ve known them forever. People who I can’t imagine my life without. People who I was so incredibly sad to leave after four days. I am already planning out how to get to San Diego just to spend more time with them. This is why I will be there. To see them. To hug them. To spend days talking to them.
2. I met some of the most amazing people ever. Jill, Jodi, Betsy, Maggie, Kim, Jessi, Kat. I know there are so many people I will be forgetting….please to be forgiving me. But hugging in person, people who you talk to daily? Is just a huge reason I do this every year. People who crack you up. People who make you think. People who make you feel okay about continuing to do this. People who help you remember why you stay in this crazy online world, despite the drama that goes on. Each year the group is a bit different, but it so far has made me realize, it’s just a chance to spend time with new people.
Meeting people who you immediately wonder how you’d never run across them in the community. People like Lisa. Wendi. People who are so nice and funny and genuine and you wonder how in the world you haven’t been following them this whole time.
Finally meeting people who you’ve talked to for years but never gotten to meet before. Liz, Kristen, Carmen.
Meeting all of those people? So worth my trip.
Seeing, hugging, eating with people you already know? It’s why I keep doing this.
3. Meals that somehow just work out. Meals with ten people. Four who you invited, four more who others invited, two who you managed to pick up in the lobby. Meals that were planned by basically inviting people and then inviting more people, until you get the random amazing group who ends up going. Because we all know, people are busy. People are trying to fit everything in. Meals, where it’s great whoever shows up. Meals, that you aren’t wanting to end. Because the conversations are so stimulating. So fun. So entertaining. It makes it worthwhile. It makes you trip. Inpromtu brunches and lunches and dinners at new restaurants? Are why I do this.
By the way? Serendipity? A life goal I have now accomplished. Frozen hot chocolate? Worth the airfare to NYC alone.
4. Watching your friend give a phenomenal keynote and watching all the other amazing people up there share their words, their stories.
5. Late night conversations in bed the last night. Sharing secrets, sharing stories, catching up with your friends after the lights are off. When after 2am, someone finally says, no matter how late we stay up, we still have to leave tomorrow, so maybe we should get a bit of sleep.
6. Sparklecorn. MamaPop managed to out-do themselves this year. I love that party. In fact? It was the only one I actually managed to attend. I would like to RSVP for next year. Like now. Can I do that please? Tracey? Amy? What do you say? Ha. You all did an amazing job with that party. I can’t even imagine how much work went into it. DUDE!!!! That cake. So good.
I tried to get to other parties. Something about BlogHer though? You just have to go with the flow. The flow for me this year? Was just have fun. Not feel stressed. There’s just no way to do it all.
7. Conversations about you. Yes you. You too. Oh and you, hidden in the back. We talk about you. In good ways. We talk about friends we wish were there. Best friends who weren’t able to make it. People we met last year. People we love. Blogs we adore. Blogs we read every day. We talk about how we wish you could all make it next year. How we sometimes want to hug every person who is lovely in our comments, especially on hard posts. We talk about you. We remember you. We miss you.
8. Hearing a friend, someone who you adore say: I was ready to be done. But this has helped me see, I’m not done. That makes it all worth it.
9. A day spent wandering New York with one of your best friends.
10. Seeing a new city. It really is a fun thing to explore a city you’ve never been too. I’d never seen NYC. I have been to San Diego many, many times. But exploring it with my friends next year? Will be awesome.
BlogHer 10 was amazing. I loved it. I did what I wanted. Enjoyed my friends. Saw a new city. Had an absolute blast. I am sure there was drama, but I wasn’t involved in any of it and I’m not willing to give it the time of day. BlogHer is what you make of it. I made my BlogHer experience a great one. The staff of BlogHer did a fabulous job and I want to thank them.
So, yes…I will be at BlogHer11 in San Diego.
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