I’ve tried to ignore it. For an entire week I’ve tried so very hard to ignore the Penn State drama. I’ve ignored Twitter. I’ve stopped reading news sites. I hit mark all as read on BlogHer in my reader. I’ve not commented on any posts about it.
Yet, I’ve been depressed. I’ve been falling. Sinking into a place that I hate. A place that I am having to fight very hard to not stay in. I could have blamed that on the time change. In fact, I have tried to blame it on that. But…I’ve been having stomach aches. I’ve been getting headaches. A single commercial can make me sad. I’ve started having nightmares again. It took me a few days, but I did figure out why.
This Penn State thing is a major trigger. In fact it’s the first major one since I spent a year in therapy trying to learn to deal with my issues. Trying to learn to not flip out like this at everything. Therapy was successful to a degree. There’s only so much work one can do on an issue though. It never goes away. I can’t seem to get away from this one, this time. With small triggers, I can. I’ve learned the skills to deal. This is EVERYWHERE though. I don’t blame the media, or people on Twitter for talking about it non-stop. It needs to be talked about. Maybe then next time someone will stand up and do the right thing. Next time someone sees or hears about a child being abused they will do the right thing. Instead of just thinking it’s none of their business. This issue? It’s everyones business.
I am triggered, because no one protected me. I was abused from seven to fifteen years old. I was sexually abused as a child and no one knew and no one ever protected me. I am damaged people. I put on a brave face and go about my life. But I’m still damaged. No amount of therapy changes that. I’ve learned to cope better. I’ve learned what not to watch, what not to read, what not to listen too. However, this will never go away from me.
I wasn’t protected. All kids deserve to be protected. All kids, no matter what, deserve that.
So…I hope you’ll forgive me for ignoring Twitter at times. For getting off Facebook. For not reading your posts about this issue. It’s not that I don’t care. Its that I have to protect myself. Because I’m the only one who will.
Having kids is a lot of work. We all know that. A lot of times, I have things I’d like to complain about, however I feel like I shouldn’t complain, because I only have mine half the time. I’ve been told as much by people. Oh I’d love some time off, my cousins say. You should enjoy the break.
Yeah. It’s not that simple. We all want a break. You, me, everyone. We deserve breaks. But this is different. I still should be allowed to complain at times. They don’t want to hear it. So I stay silent. I listen to them complain about every day life. I know I used to be allowed to complain. Why am I not now? Why are my words not as important now? I didn’t choose this. I didn’t decided to leave myself. I didn’t ask to only have my kids 50% of the time. I liked my life the way it was.
I still feel like I should be allowed to say what I want. I’m going to start here. Maybe then, I’ll learn to say it out loud to others. Here has always been a safe place for me. Lately though, I’ve stumbled on finding words. I’ve hesitated when I wanted to speak for a long time. Maybe because I’m afraid that none of you think I should be allowed to complain either. It’s made me resort to doing meme’s non-stop. Which I’m sure are boring as hell to read.
*deep breath*
Being divorced with kids is hard. Being alone when they are gone is hard. It being one against three when they are here is hard.
Things get ignored. I don’t bake for the school events. I buy stuff. In fact a lot of the time I don’t bother signing up. I haven’t volunteered in my girls classes a single day this school year. I won’t be able to either.
Some days I yell about really stupid things. Things like people stalling on bedtimes. Stupid things like finding out that Disney shows were recorded instead of something I wanted to watch. Things like getting in the car in the morning and realizing that someone forgot to brush their teeth. I get impatient, because I feel like I’m constantly behind.
I despise the endless birthday parties because it takes away from my time. However, my daughters are very social and way too dam popular, so there are always parties to go to.
I took the girls out of dance and gymnastics until tax season is over, because my work is so crazy that I just can’t handle one more thing to remember.
My house is never really clean. I don’t remember the last time I dusted. I clean bathrooms only when looking at them starts to gross me out. I can’t keep up with the dog hair and the toys. laundry is rarely ever put away. I have stacks of art projects that I need to go through and toss 90% of. There are still 9mo baby clothes in Harrison’s closet. He’s wearing 2T. In a few months, when I can finish paying off credit, I will hire a house cleaner, even though I’m at home all the time. I am working when I’m home. I can’t do both during the day.
I rarely take photos of my kids. As keeps being reminded to me by the misc grandparents. Here’s the thing though. It’s not worth the fight for professional ones. They always come out shitty, they are way too expensive and honestly I don’t have the time. Cell phone photos are just going to have to cut it right now.
I can’t (nor can my ex) afford to take a week off during spring break. In fact at this moment neither of us can afford to take off any of the multitude of days our children have off of school. Thankfully his parents asked to keep them that week. It sucks though. We can’t afford to take our kids on vacations. I hate that. I am grateful to my mother and his parents. So very grateful that they adore our kids and do amazing trips with them. But as their mother? It hurts that I can’t. That the best I can do is a weekend getaway into the mountains, or a trip to a relatives house for Thanksgiving.
People I’m not even allowed to take a sick day until after April 15th.
I’ve gotten better at cooking, but we still mostly live on grilled cheese, cereal and Chipotle. Work right now is insane and at the end of the day? I just don’t have it in me to do better than this.
I still miss Logan. Some days more than others. I’ve just learned to be quieter about it. Its not so fresh anymore. I manage just fine without him (except for that Blu Ray surround system he graciously set up for me last weekend). I do fine without him. But I miss him. I miss us. And it still some days hurts as much as it did the day he left.
I’m still broken hearted me.
Those of you you are single parents understand this. Heck, even those of you who aren’t probably get it too. I know my best friends do. Parenting is hard. It’s hard in the best of situations. Parenting three kids is hard. Some nights when they aren’t with me, I miss them so much that I cry. Some night when they are with me? I still wish for a break. I wish for help with dinner and dishes. Homework and baths. I wish for someone to help me when I’m sick, or when they are sick. I wish for days when it wasn’t one against three.
I wish that when I needed parenting advice I could ask their father (which technically I can, I just don’t often, because talking to him still hurts a lot of the time), instead of asking my best friends. I could not thank my best friends enough for always answering my parenting questions. For always listening to me. They are amazing. Yet, I feel sometimes (often) like I’m pestering them. They all have families and work too. Just as crazy of lives as I do. Yet they always listen anyway.
Some days I feel like I’m floundering. A lot of days I feel like I’m barely treading water.
I feel like my words should be just as important as someone else’s. I feel like I am allowed to say, this is hard. I feel like I should be able to complain like other people do. Without judgment. Without being told, my words aren’t as important, because I get breaks.
I’m tired and sometimes I just want to complain too.
Monday. It seems to come every dam week, no matter how much we all try to avoid it. This one showed up way to early this morning. A Monday after a busy, full, crazy weekend can be harsh. I’ve been thinking that the word Monday sounds a bit too pleasant. Maybe we should re-name it. Make it sound how it feels.
How do these sound?
Un-funday
You’ll be late for work day.
Hitting the snooze four times too many day.
It will all go wrong today, day.
Not enough coffee in the world day.
Jerky day.
Screams a lot day.
Welcome back to hell day.
Suck day.
Too much work to do day.
Behind by 9am day.
Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one who wants to junk punch Monday. What say you?
First, before you read this, please take a few minutes and go read the Wall Street Journals oh so lovely article on Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.
Did you read it? It’s okay…I’ll wait.
So. What did you think? Aren’t you glad that woman wasn’t your mother? I know I am. Thrilled in fact. I’m also happy to report that I’m not a superior mother either. My kids will one day thank me, I’m sure. **makes mental note to save article to share with kids one day in their teens**
Being a superior mother, seems like it’d be way too much work. I’m really okay with just being on the good mother level. Some days, even the fine mother level. It’s much more fun.
Don’t get me wrong, I expect a lot out of my children. I expect them to try hard in school. I do not expect perfection though. I expect them to respect others and themselves. I expect them to try at things, even when it’s hard. Mostly though? I expect them to become good, productive, responsible members of society one day. I don’t think that’s a horrible way to be.
I don’t need them to be the best mathematicians for them to get my praise. They don’t have to be brain surgeons one day, for me to be proud of them. Yesterday? I praised my son for throwing up in the bucket the second time and not all over his bed again. This morning, I thanked my oldest daughter for getting dressed without argument. I praise my children for things big and small. I encourage my children. I tell them how smart and amazing they are. Because they are. I tell them multiple times everyday, how much I love them. I didn’t hear it enough as a kid, I often wondered if my parents loved me at all. I won’t make that mistake with my kids.
I would never, ever tell my children that they are garbage. I don’t think that it’s a successful parenting tool. Personally, I think that breeds insecurity and low self-esteem. But what do I know, I’m not superior.
I want my children to be children. My girls have tried different sports. They’ve done art classes. Currently the favorites are dance and gymnastics. When that changes? I will gladly sign them up for whatever they want to try. As long as they are having fun, I’m okay with it. Begin a child, should include fun. Lots of fun. My girls will not become horrible ax murdering, non working people, because they don’t play soccer. Or the violin. Dude, have you heard a kid playing the violin? It’s horrible. I’ll pass on that one, thanks.
My kids go to sleepovers. We go see movies. They play wii games and watch *GASP* television. They get invited to way too many birthday parties and spend their weekends jumping around at Pump It Up and playing Cosmic bowling. My son is only two and he gets to have play-dates. See, I think it’s good to get them out of the house. I find it nice. Pleasant even. Mostly though? I’d like my kids to lead full lives. Full lives includes having friends.
I don’t see anything wrong with pushing your kids in school. To a degree. Not every child can make all A’s. To suggest it, is ludicrous. What does all A’s in school prove anyway? That you can learn in that one way. Great. Truly, that’s awesome. But it’s just one small piece of life.
I’d really like my kids be individuals. To be whoever it is, they are going to be. Will I push them to achieve things, yes I will. I won’t however shove them into a box and expect them to be only one way.
I have this line that I use, one that my dad used on me as a kid: You are my kids and you will not behave like that. I say it, when I stop them from doing something that they know they shouldn’t be doing, that other kids around them may be doing. I am considered strict in some ways. I call my kids on their shit. I don’t give in to public tantrums. I do expect good behavior. Are they perfect? Nope. I don’t expect that. I know there will be tantrums. I know they will whine. I know sometimes they make me so angry that I yell. This makes me a parent though.
However, I’m not “superior”. Heck, I’m probably not superior at anything, so I’m guaranteed I’m not at parenting.
I’m okay with it though. In fact, I prefer it. So, how about you. Anyone superior around here?
ps. I on purpose am not touching the race issue that was apparent in the article. I just won’t go there.
1. Last night, I went into the kids bathroom to turn off the light that my six year old always gets up and turns on, once my nine year old is asleep. (Side story: One needs complete darkness to sleep, but falls asleep in seconds. One wants light and takes a bit to fall asleep. It’s taken till now to find a compromise.) When I walk in the room though, I realize the toilet wasn’t flushed. Again. I flushed it and it started to fill up. Because yes, what I want to do is unclog a toilet at 10pm. I thank the bathroom gods that it doesn’t over flow and go locate the plunger and unclog the toilet. Then I curse my children in my head…and in email to my bff’s, for not bothering to say, hey mom, the toilet is clogged.
This morning, when questioned why it’s so hard to just tell me, they both swear to god that it wasn’t them. One blamed the boy. Which in future years will likely be true. However at the present time? He wears DIAPERS! He does all his bid-ness in diapers. The other child? Swore it was me and I just forgot. Yeah. It was me. I forgot clogging the toilet. I forgot to flush the toilet. Because I knew the toilet fairy would take care of it for me. Sheesh. Really? Come on now, someone fess up.
2. Same children who woke me up by 6:45am every single morning that that they were home and with me over Christmas break? Have been late to school the last two mornings. Because they won’t wake up. (The first morning, was my fault. I set my alarm wrong. But still, when I woke up an entire hour late? They were all still asleep.) This morning, they were dragging. They had to basically be dragged out of bed. I just don’t understand. Is it a kid thing? Parent germ warfare? Sleep in during the week, be wide awake and talking and needing nourishment and crap at the butt crack of dawn on Sunday?
3. I can’t find my TV remote. I can turn my TV on without it, because I have the cable remote. I also have the DVD player remote. But not the actual TV remote. I’ve looked for it for the last hour. The boy, he hides it. He finds things hiding places. Of course today is his dad’s night too. Which sucks. Because I won’t be able to find the dam thing. He will, when I ask him tomorrow. But me? Not a chance. I have spend way to much of his very short two years and three months of life, trying to find the things that he hides.
I have a bone to pick with you. On Saturday, December 18th, I was in a grocery store when I saw these:
Cadbury EGGS!!!! A week before Christmas. To make matters worse, they were right next to a display of these little babies:
More Eggs. This time in the form of Peanut Butter Goodness.
See, in general, I wouldn’t care much about these candies. Except that they are formed and marketed as eggs. The holiday coming up? Not the right holiday for eggs. It’s Christmas. You know: trees, Santa, presents, jingling bells and reindeer with blinking red noses. Christmas. If your products had looked like any of those things, I wouldn’t be as grouchy with you as I am.
But no. You can’t leave well enough alone. You had to take the opportunity to put candy out for a holiday that is FOUR EFFING MONTHS AWAY. You do realize this, right? I mean, you people own calendars, correct? Easter is the 24th of April next year. WTF is your problem?
Why can’t we celebrate the holiday that is this month? Why can’t you let us only think about one thing at a time, instead of making us think about something so far away? What is so wrong with only marketing to the holiday of the month? Why can’t you let us just enjoy truffles and Christmas candy?
Also, you are forgetting that there is another major candy holiday before Easter. Valentines Day. Did you forget? It’s smack day in the middle of Christmas and Easter.
Here’s my real problem. Holidays are loosing their magic, because of you. Because of you and Hallmark and everyone else who markets it months in advance. By the time a holiday shows up, I feel like I’ve had to deal with it for three months. At that point I just want it over.
You market Halloween in July. You start marketing Christmas in September. Apparently now, you are okay with bringing up Easter, before I’ve even managed to finish wrapping my kids Christmas gifts. It’s gotten out of hand. You people, have gotten out of hand.
If I can get special, Easter only candy, in December, how is it special anymore? Then it’s just as normal as M&M’s. It looses it’s magic. It looses it’s appeal.
Do you see what you are doing? You are making holidays just another day. You really should re-think this.
Signed,
A grouchy tired mother who will not be buying Easter candy until April.
Look mom, Bailey said this morning. There see, those ladies are giving away free coffee N donuts. You should go there. I wonder if they have sprinkle donuts?
(As an aside, I love how literal six year olds read. The N, was just an N in her mind.)
Nah love, that’s a church, I won’t be going there, I said to her. I waited for the next question, but then she saw a dead raccoon and I got to hear a five minute story about the dead raccoon. Thank god for six year olds with short attention spans.
I’d of been honest with her if she asked. I am just not completely sure I could have made my point in the five minutes it took us to drive the rest of the way to school. I’m not sure I could have even touched the subject matter in five minutes. YAY dead raccoons. Ahem.
I don’t have an issue with free coffee and donuts. I don’t even have a problem with churches. Not in general. I do take issue with a church having women stand outside for a couple hours each morning, waving their hands around, holding signs for free coffee and donuts.
Those coffee and donuts aren’t free. They come with a price. I know what that church is. It’s false advertising, that sign outside. Their regular sign is generally filled with some weird saying that takes me days to figure out each week. Once I finally figure out it’s a sneaky way to call everyone who doesn’t attend evil, I tend to get angry. That church is more a fire and brimstone, you are evil if you don’t believe what we believe, type church. They beileve a woman’s only place is cooking, cleaning and raising children. They have a small school attached to the church, because they believe pubic school is evil. Mark my words. You will never see a man outside that church holding a sign.
I promise you, those donuts come with a price. One I’m not willing to pay.
How do you explain that to a six year old though? How do you explain to an inquisitive six year old, that some people believe their way is the only way? How do I explain religion to her, when I don’t understand it myself?
Every fight, every war, every major argument it seems, somehow goes back to religion. After how ever many thousand years, we still haven’t figure out as a species, to let people believe in the god of their choosing. You’d think we’d of gotten it by now, but we just haven’t. All those articles, blog posts, tweets about the mosque being built near the World Trade Center, all go back to the simple fact that we can’t just allow each other the right to choose. You choose your god, I’ll choose mine…most likely they are all some form of the same. Who knows? Do you know? I surely don’t.
I also know I don’t have the answers for my children. I am the child of a very lapsed baptist and an atheist Jew. I was not raised in religion. Any religion. Were their pieces of the traditions from both in my childhood? Yes. Mostly it was just holiday traditions though.
I don’t know what I believe. Honestly, I don’t. I love that many of you do. I just don’t. I almost wish I could be an atheist. It seems too final for me though. Too easy. Maybe too hard. Like I said, I have no clue what I believe. Makes it hard as a parent to explain things to your kids.
I do know though, that church isn’t giving out free donuts.
If so? Don’t bother buying tickets. It’s a waste of money.
Years ago, I believe in 1999, Logan and I were on vacation in Colorado when one of his cousins had extra tickets to the Lilith Fair. We were thrilled to get to go, since we’d tried to get tickets to see it in Los Angeles and weren’t able too. It was an all afternoon/evening outdoor concert at Fiddler’s Green. We had grass seats, which was totally fine. There were about twelve of us who went. We got there around 2pm and hung out on the grass. A few people we were with had real seats but they were still allowed to sit on the grass with us during the day. We spread out blankets and played cards. We bought food and drinks and took them back to our little area in the grass. We could hear the bands that were playing on the smaller stages, even though no one played on the main stage until say 5pm.
There was a huge area that was filled with different food booths. You could buy t-shirts, get hemp tattoos, see weird art. Whatever. It was an experience. The smaller stages were filled with lesser known women bands, but I remember knowing some of them.
When the concerts started on the main stage it was amazing. We, in one night, saw Sarah McLaughlin, Sheryl Crow, Indigo Girls, Shawn Colvin, Lisa Loeb and my all time favorites, the Dixie Chicks. It was five or six hours of non-stop concerts. Sheryl Crow came out in the middle of an Indigo Girls song and jumped up on their piano. Lisa Loeb ran across the stage while someone was singing with a kite. Sheryl Crow told jokes before she sang. The Dixie Chicks were freaking amazing. At the end they all did a few songs together. It was huge and it was fun and it still goes down in history as one of my all time favorite concert events ever.
Fast forward to this spring.
I heard Sarah McLaughlin was re-doing the Lilith Fair. I waited. I watched for signs that it was true. She announced her line up. It was highly impressive. You can see it here if you’d like. I signed up to be notified early, so I could buy tickets when they came out. They finally went on sale. When I saw that Sheryl Crow, Sarah McLaughlin, Sugarland, Court Yard Hounds and Miranda Lambert were all going to come to the Denver show, I bought two tickets. Pricey. Expensive. $135 a piece tickets. I figured maybe I’d get my mom to come out and we’d go. In the end though, I decided to give the second ticket to my friend, for her birthday. Which was today. Figured a concert on her birthday was a good present. She was thrilled.
She and I both re-arranged our schedules. We made sure our kids are covered, took time off work, both of us even found people to go walk our dogs at some point. Then we get there. We stand in line to get in. No biggie. We have to toss our sunscreen because it’s in a spray can. Which was fine, our bad. We go to the small stage area and there is no place to sit. It’s all rocks. You could only stand….I mean unless you like rocks up your butt. There are only like 6 booths and they are only giving out samples of crap. A coupon. A teeny spray deodorant. Nothing to do. Nothing to see. We’d seen it all in three minutes flat. There was no place to sit and absolutely no shade. Then we saw the sign. The bands listed sign. The, this is when people are playing sign. NONE of the people we had come to see, besides Sarah McLaughlin were listed on it. She wasn’t going to play until last. We literally only knew one other person on the list and neither of us are fans of her. We walked over to where you could buy food. There were three drink booths and two food booths. Ten bucks for beer. Six bucks for a hot dog. Those were basically the only choices. Hot dogs, cheeseburgers, crappy beer or water. You can buy better food at the Costco food stand. Heck, I can buy better food outside the Home Depot on Saturdays. That guy sells brats and churros and crazy shit. Not that we went to eat or drink, I’m just saying, it was seriously limited.
We bought five dollar bottles of water and tried to find some spare concrete to sit on. Because, hi, guess what, nothing is on the main stage till 5pm, so we aren’t seating until then. Yeah. No place to sit and they wouldn’t let us go to our seats early. More and more and more people started filling into a tiny confined space. It was hot. There was no place too move and hundreds of people wondering why we couldn’t just go sit in our seats. This one woman kept inching closer and closer to me. I told my friend, if she gets any closer, she will soon be in my lap. It wasn’t even her fault, there was just that many people there.
We started asking people around us about the other bands supposedly showing up. Oh they’re not, one woman said. Yeah, I guess it wasn’t doing so well so some of them bailed. So I paid $135 a pop, to wait around until 9pm, on a weeknight, to just see Sarah McLaughlin? Whose CD I wasn’t impressed with enough to buy? Yeah, pretty much.
We sat there for about 45 minutes fuming, before we finally decided to leave. That it wasn’t even worth the time. The money was a waste, but to waste our time and be grouchy on top of it? To see shitty bands we’d never even heard of? Not worth it.
We were not the only ones either. We walked out with six other people. The people who’d been sitting next to us had been debating it. There were six of them. We had people leaving in front of us and people leaving behind us. We were offered tickets, free tickets, by eight other people. I offered my tickets to five different people in the parking lot and each of them said, no, we’re thinking about leaving too. I came so close to handing my tickets to the homeless guy at the freeway entrance.
Sarah? You have lost my business. Forever. I will never again buy your albums. I will never again believe anything you say. I may never again go to an outdoor concert that supposedly has multiple acts. You pretty much just ruined it for me. Maybe you don’t care. Maybe you will never see this. It’s more than the money. It’s the principal of it. You sold something and what you sold was a lie. I’m upset. As much for the friend whose birthday I just ruined as for myself. The money? Well it’s gone and I’ve wasted money on stupider crap before. It was a lot of money to waste though. I’m not exactly rolling in it, you know? I’m a single mom with three kids who just lost half a day of work and $300 on top of that.
I’ve been to better free concerts than this. Heck, a few years ago….the only time I’ve even seen Sugarland in concert, it was a free outdoor concert at night in freaking Palmdale, California. I remember driving up there wondering if we were being dumb. I showed up, with my husband and my little girls and we had an absolute blast. We ate tons of great food and sat on the grass and watched a two hour free concert.
This? Didn’t even come close to a free concert at a fair. It wasn’t worth the gas to drive there, much less the money I spent. I’d of stayed tonight if ANYONE you said was going to be there had been there. Just one of them. But no, it was all a lie, so we left.
I wasted my time, my money, my energy and my faith in concerts. I’m disappointed. I’m grouchy. Mostly though? I wish I’d gotten what I paid for. That would have been cool. Shrug. I won’t make the mistake again.
You lost two fans today.
I’ve had Sirius Satellite Radio for six or seven years. Maybe even longer. I’ve loved it. I’ve moved my service from one car to another. Logan has too. We are very good customers. This is a service we have been glad to pay for.
Then I buy my new car. Which is awesome. Which I adore. Whose name is Harper I believe. Anyway, it has an XM radio built in. Which is fine in my mind, since oh two years ago, the two merged. Which was about the time all the stations started saying, SiriusXM Radio. Or something. They changed all of my stations when they did that. But whatever, I remained a loyal customer.
Yesterday I go online to transfer my service to my new car. No where online am I able to figure out how to do this. Which annoys the shit out of me to begin with. I sit on hold. Lalalalalalalalala, tons of minutes go by. I just hate elevator music. Can I tell you how much it annoys me? I want to gorge my own ear drums out. I finally get a human. Oh we can’t help you, you have to call XM, she says to me. WTF? Seriously. Yes.
So I do. 25 minutes later I get a person. MORE ELEVATOR MUSIC. I’m about to go postal on my cell phone, when I get a human being. Well XM and Sirius have technically merged, but we’re two separate things still. So the stations are the same, but you have to cancel Sirius, buy new XM service for the new car and we will have to charge you a start-up fee.
*Issa’s head explodes*
You’re telling me I have to cancel, then start-up a new contract for THE EXACT SAME STATIONS?????? The exact same price too?
Well, yes.
Great. Fine. Whatever.
I do it.
Mostly because I despise regular radio. It’s worth the start-up fee and the 15 bucks a month to not have to listen to those morons. They give me road rage. Truly. I am a much more relaxed, not probably going to shoot someone driver, when I have good music. And NO TALKING HEAD IDIOTS. KYGO? I’m looking directly at you. Possibly flipping you off as well.
But really, wtf SiriusXM? You merged. You now only have one set of stations. I’ve been a customer for years and years. How is this okay? Can anyone else see why you had to merge? Because your customer service BLOWS!!!!!!!!!!
Then of course I have to re-call Sirius to cancel. Another 25 minutes of elevator music. God forbid you can cancel online. She tries to sell me other products before canceling. Doesn’t understand why I’d want to switch to XM. Can you just explain to me why? BECAUSE I HAVE NO CHOICE AND YOU ARE THE SAME COMPANY.
Oh but we’re not. Not really.
Okay fine. You’re not. Am I canceled now?
Yes. Would you like to take a survey about this call and how helpful I’ve been today?
*click*
Look at my bank online a few hours later? My new fees? Charged by one, SiriusXM Radio. Same exact company as last month.
*headbang*
Great. So thrilling for you. You are the mayor of McDonalds. Wheeeee. You are now at Starbucks. YAY you. You are at Target. Why is this entertaining? I go to Starbucks every dam day. It’s not tweet worthy. Promise.
FourSquare, for those of you who don’t know, is a form of social media. You sign up for the service and it connects to your Twitter and Facebook. You set up a profile, that is public, (at least for other FourSquare users) with your information. It also keeps all of your previous locations. The more you use it, the more points you get. What they are for, I don’t know. No one seems to know. Why anyone should care? I have absolutely no idea. Doesn’t stop people from playing it.
Anyone remember Mafia Wars? It was an annoying game on twitter. It lasted about two months. This is more annoying and doesn’t seem to show any sign of stopping.
In the two minutes of searching (to give those who have no idea what I’m talking about, an idea) hundreds of tweets kept popping up. Very awesome tweets like:
I’m at Independent Fire Company No. 1 (1601 Burlington Bypass, Wedgewood Drive & Fountain Avenue, Burlington)
I just unlocked the “School Night” badge on @foursquare
I’m at taco bell.
I’m at McD’s.
I’m at Panera Bread 540 East Betteravia Road, College Drive, Santa Maria
Why doesn’t Subway give a discount to Mayors? That would benefit me.
WTF. Really??? We should care? We should need to know this? All of these, by the way, had a link to the location. Hundreds and hundreds of them popped up in seconds.
Normally I find it aggravating. It pollutes my twitter stream. I could care less were anyone is and it’s annoying to constantly see, oh I’m at Target. I find it very stupid and I’ve said it more than my share of times.
Here’s where the issue for me comes in. Someone who I was following on twitter tweeted that they were at an elementary school picking up a kid. A kid that isn’t theirs. It tweets the name and a link to the location every time you use it.
So basically one is publishing their child’s school address. On the internet. For the world to see.
It makes me angry. It makes me sick to my stomach. I am making a big ass deal of it because I think it needs to make into one. It’s not okay. Tweeting names of kids elementary schools and locations is NOT okay. It’s just not. Schools should not be listed in FourSquare. It should never, ever, ever be something that gets randomly tweeted. It’s unsafe.
Lets think about this for a second. You post or tweet your kids names, or you don’t. You post pictures, or you don’t. I don’t really care either way. I used to, I don’t now. Your choice. But you, if you have kids and a blog, probably talk about them. You tell funny stories. If you don’t post photos, as I don’t, you probably have friends you have emailed photos to over time.
Then you tweet the location of your child’s elementary school on twitter. All in the name of a social media game.
Now, instead of being worried about the known dangers, about crazy family and people who pop up on registry’s for sex offenders, you are facing the unknown. Because hey, you wanted a few points or whatever, so why not tweet the location of the school?
Know why you shouldn’t? BECAUSE IT’S A SCHOOL. Where children play. Small, innocent children. That you’ve just put at risk. Maybe I’m being paraniod. I will take that risk. Me paranoid is a fine risk to take. A child’s safety? Is not.
I don’t care who it was, I don’t care if it’s your kid or someone else’s. Either way? I find it deplorable. I have unfollowed people before because of it. Those times? It was their child. What made me livid about it this time, was someone doing it, who was picking up another persons child.
I went so far to say if that was my sitter doing that, I’d fire them. I would. In a heartbeat. Does that make me an asshole? Maybe it does. Fine, hi, I’m Issa and I’m an asshole. Unfollow/unfriend me. I don’t care.
My kids school address doesn’t belong on Twitter and Facebook. Ever. No kids school does. Personally I think FourSquare should take that off. It shouldn’t be allowed to be tweeted. Ever. The end.
I made a blanket statement on Twitter, one that I am sticking too. I am hereby unfollowing any single person who tweets the location of an elementary school.
I think it’s totally irresponsible.
Yes, a school’s information is public record. You can drive by any school and see kids. Pervs can drive around and find schools. But they generally don’t know what your child looks like already, do they? They probably don’t know that you call your son, sport or bruiser. Or that your daughter’s stuffed tiger is named Flutter. They may not have known that before, but they can now.
Do you see where I’m going with this? That kind of information is what predators use to lure your children. Think I’m paranoid. Think I’m horrible. Then go search the web for missing children. Look at the numbers. Look at what happens to children taken from schools, even if they are returned to their parents. Do you see how this could make me angry? By tweeting a childrens school location, you are inadvertently putting children at risk. Mine, yours, all of them.
You may think you are anonymous. But you really aren’t. Not if you use now or have ever used any form of social media.
Why make it easier for them? Why put your kids at risk, for a stupid silly annoying game that most of us wish would die?
Grab My Button!
I’m a joiner
